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  #13  
Old February 2nd, 2009, 12:28 AM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

Su-weet!!!!!!

"People of Gotham! Take control.... take control of your city! THIS.... this is the instrument, of your liberation...."
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  #14  
Old February 2nd, 2009, 01:31 AM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scapemaster View Post
Just a note, you should read it over twice before posting to make sure it sounds right and/or everythings in the right tense, form, etc.

Other than that, great start.
Thanks I'm glad that you liked the first part of the story. But still, what was it that didn't make sense to you. (And besides I did read it twice)

Anyway I hope you enjoyed as much as everyone else did. Tomorow I Will tell the next chapter and I hope others will enjoy it.

Last edited by Bro-man; February 2nd, 2009 at 01:51 AM.
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  #15  
Old February 5th, 2009, 02:04 AM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

Sorry for not telling the story yesterday, I had to do a few things before I could get my chance to tell it.

So now, here is the next chapter.

Waking Dawn: Chapter 1

The battle has barely begun, and the zombies are being held at bay.
Agent Carr keeps on shooting from above along with murphy and the other agents. But soon he notice that the zombies have a small force that is fighting them. He wonder if there will be more coming. He then notices something down below that he has not seen before. There were three zombies that were much larger then the rest and they were just standing there, watching him.

The one zombie in the middle watched and waited patiently for the moment to strike. The others next to him also watch as the battle contiues on between the soulbourgs and the lesser zombies. He then knows its time. He looks to the other two and they nod their heads towards him and the three started waking towards the battle. As zombies keep coming and charging from behind, they pay no attention towards the battle but to the one dark skined man. He then got push on the side by a carless zombie carring a small jagged sword. He spies at it as the zombie stared at him and he wanted that weapon. He grabed the zombie's throut and raised him high off the ground. He grabs the sword and looks at the helpless zombie. He then squeezes his hand on the zombies throut and the a few seconds later the zombie crippled in his hands and was dead. He threw the dead bodied to the ground in a mangled heap. He then stared at the dark skin man who saw this and was shocked to see what it did. The Lead Zombie roared towards him and the other did the same. The three then charged forward and were at the wall of the castle and they started climbing towards their goal.

Carr watch in horror as the three large zombies start to climb higher and higher towards him and the other men. He then quickly yelled out, "Take them out before they get to us!" The other agents did as instructed. They looked over the wall and spoted there targets and started firing. Their shots rained down upon them but they still kept moving up. But one zombie stopped in its place. The zombie tryed to hold on but then its was shot in the head and it plumeted to the ground, two now remain. The zombie with the sword was in a rage, it soon got to the top and was staring at the man who shot the round into the zombie that was next to him. The other agents dodge his sword in time but one agent was not so lucky. The one that shot the round was pierced through his chest. He gasped for breath and the zombie looked at him for a moment and then the zombie lifted his sword high and then the agent was removed from the sword and the agent plumeted towards the ground. The zombie was on the wall with the other agents staring at him in shock. The other zombie got onto the wall as well and then they began to chase the other agents and to kill them. But one zombie with the sword stoped when he was shot from behind. He turned and it was the dark skined man.

Carr stared at the zombie with anger. "C,mon, face me you maggots." He said. The two zombies then rushed towards him. The zombie with the sword continued to rush forward but the other one stoped in its tracks, and it was trying to get rid of something around its neck. Carr grabed his long sword of reckoning and the two were fighting against one another.

Murphy had his long whip and he grabed the zombie with it. He pulled it towards him and it continued to struggle but he held a firm grip. He then whiped him over to the edge of the wall and the zombie almost lost its footing and almost went off the wall. But it caught the edge of the wall and was back up again and had the whip around his neck taken off. But when it quickly turned around to meet his foe. Murphy had his shotgun pointing right at it by only a few feet away. He fired once and the zombie was hit in the side and part of the chest. It staggerd a bit but then Murphy shot the zombie again and this time it was near the head and the zombie fell off the castle wall and plumeted to the ground.

Carr fought against the zombie and he thought that he might have him. The two fought on until Carr had his opening. Carr then knocked the sword out of the way, he cut off the zombies right arm, which was holding up the sword, and he stucked the sword into the zombies gut. The zombie looked down in disbelif that he was defeated, but the zombie looked up and roared one last time towards the dark skin man, before Carr withdrew his sword out and loped off the zombies head and its body fell off the castle wall and hit the ground in a mangled pile. Soon Carr heard cheering from below and when he and murphy looked down and the men were celebrating of their victory as the last zombie was slain before them.

Carr lived through another battle and won another victory for his army. Murphy walked towards him and spoked saying, " We won this battle my freind." Carr looked down and saw the head of the last zombie he killed, he then said while still staring at the head, "Yes we did, but for how much longer will we last against them?" When he finished he kicked the head off the wall and watch as it landed into a pile of bodies.

I hoped you enjoyed it guys, Sorry for the heads being chopped off here and there, but its a great first chapter at least. Can't wait to print in the next chapter.

Last edited by Bro-man; February 5th, 2009 at 12:57 PM.
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  #16  
Old February 6th, 2009, 11:52 PM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

I was expecting for some replies about the story so far but I don't mind if you type in or not.

Anyway I will be soon posting up the new chapter. Can't wait for all of you to read it.
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  #17  
Old February 9th, 2009, 01:56 AM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

I had a little trouble figuring out what this next chapter would be, but I soon figured what it is so, here is the next chapter.

Waking Dawn: Chapter 2

All of the men around the castle, since early afternoon, they have been puting all the zombies corpses into one large pile. As the men finish up puting all the bodies in the pile, Carr and Murphy watch from on top of the wall and talking too each other on how they will be able to hold out on the next attack. "We may have a new threat to this castle Murphy." "You mean with the new bigger zombie freaks." Murphy asked. Carr noded and then said, "They are differnt from the smaller ones, and they looked to be more stonger and much smarter as well, fighting against them would be quite a challenge for us." Murphy turned and looked at the ground below and watched as the gladatrons pour black liquid all over the pile of corpses. "Also we lose more and more of are men every day and night, when will that blasted messenger of yours be back with more troops?" Carr shrugged, and said, " If he can't get back soon we will be on are own for another night." Carr then heard a loud noise from below, he looked down and Major X-17 was yelling out, " Shall we burn these undead beings?" Carr yelled back, " You may burn the bodies!" Murphy turned turned towards Carr and said, "Burn? Why should we burn them?" "When you think you may have killed them all they may still be breathing and may come and kill you before you get the chance to defend yourself, you can never be to carful if they maybe alive or not." Carr said and the two watch as the agents did thier part.

Brandt, a agent from the "Krav Maga" got his order and he told the other agents to get ready to throw the tourches into the pile. He was big and smart agent, which Carr mad him second in command of all of the agents. As the other agents got ready with the tourches, he drew his cigarette from his hand and took his last puff from it and then he flicked into the pile of bodies, "Alright boys, light it up!" The other agents threw their tourches into the mound of bodies and instantly the whole mound was already on fire.

Carr turned and whispered to Murphy, "Get everyone together and tell them we are having a meeting." "Right." Carr then headed down the castle wall and Murphy stayed and watch as the smoke from the bodies rosed higher into the sky.

Six days earlier.

Raven ( A Krav Maga agent) awoke with many bandages all over his body. He sat up from his bed and he looked around and he notice that he was in a room with only two singal lamps that lightned the room. He then notice a door opened and a large kyrie comes in with majestic white wings, and he sat in a chair that was next to the bed. The Kyrie then said, " I'm glad that you have awakend, my name is Haven and welcome to the castle of Vydar."

Sorry for making the story short but at least its being seperated into to two parts to get more of the story between Carr and the messenger. Please summit some replies, and I hope you guys enjoy this part of the story. I will be posting up the new chapter in a few days so enjoy this chapter.

Last edited by Bro-man; February 12th, 2009 at 10:31 AM.
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  #18  
Old February 13th, 2009, 02:19 AM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

I feel like I'm the only person putting replies on here, oh well.

Anyway I'll be putting up the new chapter tomorrow and I can't wait for you guys to hear it.
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  #19  
Old February 13th, 2009, 10:15 AM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bro-man View Post
I feel like I'm the only person putting replies on here, oh well.

Don't worry about it. I LOVE what you are doing with this story!


Your curiosity will be the death of you....
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  #20  
Old February 13th, 2009, 11:55 PM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

Thanks, I needed that.

I also hope that you will enjoy this next chapter.

Waking Dawn: Chapter 3

Hours later as the large fire burns away the remaining bodies half of the army is in the grand hall of the castle. Every one was around a large fire pit discussing about what to do against the next attack. Soon Carr stood up and raised his right hand and waited until everyone was quite and were turning thier attention to him. Once it was completley silent he soon spoke out to them, " All of you has given thier all against the undead, and I see that many of you can give a little more then what you have already have done, right now are messenger is coming back as we speak, to bring reinforcements and bring fresh supplies, all I ask from all of you is this, fight with me for a bit longer and I know that we will live through this and survive against the zombie horde." Most of the groups of agents and the soulbourgs whisperd to each other and agreed to what Carr had just said. Suddenly a agent from the Krav Maga stood up and yelled out, "You think you just say that? More and more of us die each day and we can't even last much longer against them, the messenger is maybe dead already and we can't surivive these attacks, how do you expect us to fight when we are losing our hope of survival!?" Carr was about to reply but he was cut off when a women from the Nakiti group walked up to the troubled agent and said," Please, calm down or you will hurt yourself even more." The troubled agent looked at her and said in a crude way," Calm down? How can I calm down, my freind is dead because of that battle, how do you expect me to calm down when I know that he is gone and he will never come back." He then cursed right in her face and then the two start too argure with each other and then the two groups came and were yelling at each other and soon the whole hall was in a fuss that Carr couldn't settle anyone down. Carr then sighed and slumped back in his seat and placed hand on to his brow, knowing that he can't stop them from this conflict.

Murphy was seated next to Carr and then he leaned his head over to Carr's ear and whisperd, " This is quiet crazy don't you think my freind?'
Carr noded and then he said in soft voice,"Look at them James, many of these agents are my trusted friends, and have been with me through many fights, I just can't belive that they can be broken like this through the loss of one of are own so easily." Murphy nodded and then he said, "As we argue amongst ourselfs our enemies could already be baring down upon us." Carr then replied, " If they were not here already." The two looked at each other for a moment and then they looked and watch as the men countinued to argue.

A few minutes later as the mob contiue to bicker and some of the fighting each other, a gorillanator walks through the open doors and heads for Carr and he once he was their he then whispered to him, " Carr all of the bodies from the zombies have all been burned to ashes, but the oil contiues to burn and it may be a few hours or less until the fire will stop." Carr then thanked the agent for telling him and then a moment he thought of something that he never thought before. The gorillanator was about to leave until Carr said to him, " Wait I have a task for you." The agent gorilla, turned to him and replyed,"A task for me? What do you want done?" Carr then whispered to the gorillanator and the agents eyes widened, he noded and Carr then said, "Once this meeting's over I'll come over and see how many we have left." The Gorillanator noded and he quickly hurried towards the main door and out from sight.

Carr then stood up and tryed to get everyone attention, but no one seemed to care or to even notice him. He then felt a tap from behind and murphy had his shotgun at the open window and then Carr quickly covered his ears and Murphy fired. A sceond later everyone in the hall had ducked down and many of them covered their ears from the blast. Murphy then yelled out as every sat down slowly back in their seats," You people are a bunch of drunken mad idiots, your leader is trying to say something to you and you can't even consider what he has to say to you, you should all be ashamed of yourselves." When everyone was quiet and no one was not even speaking towards each other, Murphy went to his seat and said to carr that he can go ahead and say what he was about to say. Carr then quickly said, " Thank you." Murphy looked at him from his seat," Your quiet welcome." Carr turned to everyone inside the hall and he then said," As many of you countinued to bicker against one another, I realized somthing and I thought of a plan that might help us in the coming battle against the undead."

For awhile he told of his plan to everyone in the Grand hall, when he finished he waited for a reply from somone but no one seemed to give a answer to him. Brandt then stood up and said, "The plan of yours may be either crazy or it just might work, I will gladly help you with this trap you have planed for our enemy." Soon others agreed and then more of them agreed as well and half of the soulbourgs, including Major X-17 agreed with the plan. After the meeting finished and everyone went out and were heading to do their assignments. Carr quickly told Murphy to get Major X-17 for he had a special task for them. Murphy went off to look for the soulbourg. Brandt came up to Carr and asked, "Do you think this plan should work." As the two were out the door and in the middle of courtyard, Carr then quickly said," It will work we just need the oil, lots and lots of oil." That said, the two soon headed to the supply area and Carr knew somone that he had not seen in awhile, and he was a good freind to him.

Five Days earlier.

Raven's wounds were healed quiet fast since he first awakened. While he was here he asked the kyrie Haven if he can have a audience with Vydar. Haven told him that he could not see him because he was away at the time. But the next day he would return. Raven was then told that within the hour he was coming back. He waited in his room until Haven came to him that he is here and is waiting for him. Raven was wearing his best clothes to make him feel presentable in front of his leader for his old ones were taken and being patched. Raven followed Haven to the grand hall and when he entered it still felt lonley and not welcoming, since without the waters from the northern river is blocked by a dam, that the wonderous fountains are not even sprining any water from its spout. He walked down the hall and soon he was in the throne room and he saw the dark haired kyrie sitting on his throne room. When Raven saw Vydar rise from his seat Raven nelt down on one knee and was saying, " Lord Vydar, its an honor to meet you in person." Vydar spoke and was saying,"I'm pleased that you are taking liking to my humble castle, and I wonder what you have to say to me? What is it that you want to talk to me about?" Raven looked up to Vydar, and he knew that the truth had to come, he then said, " My lord. The commander of the southern army, Carr, has sent me to bring you this messege and I'm sorry to say but I bring grave news from him."

Hope you guys enjoyed this new chapter as much as I have.
Please tell me how you guys like the story so far and I can't wait to place in the next chapter.

Last edited by Bro-man; February 14th, 2009 at 12:36 PM.
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  #21  
Old February 14th, 2009, 09:56 AM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

The suspense increases.....


Your curiosity will be the death of you....
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  #22  
Old February 19th, 2009, 04:49 PM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

I will be posting up the new chapter tomorrow. But I hope that you enjoy the story so far.
Leave me some replies. If you guys have questions I will be happy to tell them to you.
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  #23  
Old February 23rd, 2009, 02:22 AM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

Sorry for not putting up the new chapter yesterday.
Anyway hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Waking Dawn: Chapter 4

5 days earlier

Over a half a hour has past and once Raven finished his report, Vydar sat in his seat and pondered on what he just heard from him. Moments later and Raven still kneeling in his same postion waiting for a reply from his leader, Vydar stood up from his seat and walked towards a open door on the side of the throne room. He then said, " Come Raven, walk with me." Raven was confused from what Vydar had just said to him but he shrugged and got up and followed him through the open door.
They walked in and Raven noticed light at the end of the long hallway, he wondered where it led to. They countinued walking in silence and Raven notice that Haven was walking right behind him. He was about to say somthing when Vydar said, "Your report Raven is a tall tale to swallow, I know that you and your commander Carr are holding that castle for some time and I know that you need more supplies and fresh troops but I can bring you new supplies but I'm sorry to say but I can't send any troops to Carr and his forces." Raven was shocked to hear what his leader has said to him, he hoped that Vydar will send new troops to aid him and Carr and he says he can't. He then asked," Beggin your pardon my lord but why can't youy send any troops to us?" Vydar then replied," Well about a month ago two messengers, both from Ullar and Jandar, came to me and offered a alliance between me and them, and I axcepted their offer." Raven looked over to him and then he notice he was nearing the exit of the long hallway, "So what is your point my lord?" "Have you ever seen Ullar's forces Raven?" "I've heard of them but never seen them before my lord." Vydar looked to him and said,"You might be surprise on what you might see." The two then walked through the open door and Raven covered his eyes because of the light from the sun shrinking down in the distance. Once his eyes cleared he notice he was on a platform and he looked down in the courtyard he gazed in awe from the sight of so many troops. Hundreds of elves were pouring into the couryard, many were archers or brave warriors. "I can't send any of my troops but I wonder if these troops will help." Raven turned to lord Vydar and said,"Thank you my lord, these troops will indeed help us against the zombie horde." Vydar noded his head and then he looked at Haven and the white winged kyrie then flew down off the platform and into the courtyard greeting the other elves. "I told Haven that he will pick out the troops you will need to fight against the zombie horde, for they are sworn enemy's back on their homeworld." Vydar said. Raven thanked him and Vydar was off and Raven wanted to meet with the new elven warriors but it was already getting late. He soon headed back to his room and that night he slept, knowing that he will see the troops that will help turn the tide at the castle.

Sorry for making it short but I hoped you guys like how it is going so far.
Tomorrow I will be posting up the next chapter, so I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Last edited by Bro-man; March 19th, 2009 at 12:30 AM.
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  #24  
Old February 23rd, 2009, 06:29 PM
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Re: Battles of Vallhalla

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bro-man View Post
Sorry for not putting up the new chapter yesterday.

Don't worry about it! I post sections to my story on belated dates more often than I post them on the scheduled dates!


Your curiosity will be the death of you....
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