Gulp's Abilities Not Worth Activating

[Gulp]

In the spirit of Gulp's Glyphs Not Worth Grabbing, I present...

Gulp's Abilities Not Worth Activating

1. Hover - Add 1 to your height. Instead of moving and attacking you may activate Hover.
   
2. Annoying - This figure receives an Annoyance Marker whenever it becomes adjacent to any other figure. Your opponent may remove an Annoyance Marker, forcing your figure to take a free attack on your very annoying character. Roll one die for each annoyance marker removed.
   
3. Doggin Whispering - When adjacent to Dund you glimpse the sadness in his heart that no one uses him in tournaments. His sorrow consumes your figure, and your figure gently caresses the coarse fur of Dund's neck. Dund's muscles tense with anticipation of attack, and when no attack comes, he relaxes and farts a little.
   
4. Summon Door - On a roll of 17 or higher on the 20-sided die you may summon the door from the gate of the Fortress of the Archkyrie expansion. Lay the door on the board. Any hexes touched by the door are impassable. The door may be attacked as normal.
   
5. Summon Cat - Before each round on a roll of 7 or higher on a 20-sided die your may choose a cat to be placed on the battlefield. Your opponent chooses the location of the cat.
   
6. Uppity Women Unite Special Attack - Before attacking read this out loud:
7. "Instead of doing laundry this weekend, all female players can do the dishes." If you survive the attack of all female player(s) or figure(s) within earshot you should probably just shut up and choose not to attack.
   
8. Freedom of Choice - Instead of moving, you may choose not to.
   
9. "I Get That All the Time" Defense - Enables Master Woo to avoid boosting a nearby monk by assuring the monk that he is simply Mister Woo, a nice man of Hawaiian descent who has thinks meditation sounds boring.
   
10. Marro Water Notarizing - On the roll of 10 or higher, any marro on a water space instantly becomes a certified Notary Public.
    
11. Improved Deathwalker 7K Explosion - On a roll of 1-3 Deathwalker does one wound to itself. On a roll of 4 or higher, Deathwalker 7000 does 50 wounds to every enemy figure on the table. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter because you will always roll a 2.
    
    Abilities Submitting by Fellow Scapers
    
12. Grok Training - Submitted by a Sup3rS0n1c and spiteofthedice
13. Taelord special - Your base attack and defense is 3.You now cost 180 points. All abilities are lost and replaced with Attack Aura. Submitted by Poseidon's trident
14. Walking - This ability allows you to do something between flying and tunneling. Note: It is definitely NOT the opposite of flying. Nooooooo waaaaaay. Submitted by Poseidon's trident
15. Road Rage - You may only use this ability when driving a car. Wait, cars can't be summoned to Valhalla so completely ignore this ability. Sorry for the special ability spot we took up on this units card.Here will make it up to you by lowering this cards point value from 100 to 80. Now show your friends that you can now have Otonashi and Isamu. Look at their face. Sorry, we will let you play now. Submitted by Poseidon's trident
16. Ripped Pants of Awesomeness Summoning - Roll a d20. On a roll of 15 or higher, if Jotun is on the battlefield, you summon his Ripped Pants of Awesomeness. You become as awesome as Jotun. Jotun now has it in for you and will target you for his attack if possible. Submitted by cmgames
17. Swim Break - After moving onto a water tile, you must end your movement. Submitted by Sup3rS0n1c
18. Bad Karma - If you won your last game, after rolling any dice, any opponent that has any form of hostile feelings toward the roller may change the dice to any side of their choice. If there is more than one such opponent, they all get to do it. If there are none, get a bystander that is rooting for the opponent to win to do so. Submitted by Sup3rS0n1c
19. Slow Play of Lameness - On a D20 roll of 8 or more your slow play to the point where your opponent falls asleep. On a D20 roll of 14 or more you slow play enough to warrant your opponent strangling you. On a D20 roll of 20, you slow play so much you actually go back in time. If playing in a tournament add 8 to your D20 roll. Submitted by Utgarsrage
20. Precision - This character may target another character. Submitted by StarofEarendi
21. Imprecision - This figure may target itself with attacks. Submitted by spiteofthedice
22. Sore Loser - If you are getting beaten soundly in a game you can roll the d20. Roll 1-5 and say "I couldn't roll a skull/shield if my life depenede on it" Roll a 6-14 and say "Are you flippin kidding me?" Roll a 15-19 and you can then move all of your remaining figures to the highest point on the map and surround all of your enemies figures with molten lava tiles. Roll a 20 and flip the whole table over and storm out. Submitted by Onacara
23. Victory Dance - If you win, roll the D20. 1-5 Dance the Robot. 6-10 Dance the Krump. 11-15, dance the Hip-hop. 16-19, Break Dance! 20 you may choose any dance you like. Submitted by Simpsons Scaper
24. Dice of Death - If you are getting beaten soundly in a game you can roll the d20. Roll 1-5 and roll attack/defense across the board, knocking over several figures. Roll a 6-14 and roll attack/defense dice off the table and onto the floor. Roll a 15-19 and you roll attack/defense dice so hard they scatter off into another room. Roll a 20 one of your attack/defense dice bounces off your opponent's dice tower, rebounds of a wall, skips off the table and strikes your opponent in the forehead, knocking him out. Draw. Submitted by Dennys
25. Uno - When your next to last figure is destroyed, you must say "Uno" to let everyone know that you only have one figure remaining. If you fail to do so, you must randomly draw a figure from the dead figure pile. Submitted by jbbnbsmith
26. Polite Apology - In the event you cannot keep up with the submissions on your thread you may post a polite apology. +rep for doing so. Submitted by Onacara [ -Gulp]
27. UN Ceasefire Agreement - This ability has no effect. Submitted by Shedim Kabal
28. UNLEASH THE GLYPH!! - On a roll of 1 or higher, place a Glyph of Brandar on the battlefield. The Brandar glyph has absolutely no effect, but it looks pretty! The Glyph of Brandar can only be placed if there is another glyph on the field. Submitted by gorthan313
29. Walk the Dog - Castle Required. Every 4th round you must leave the castle and stand on a grass hex for one complete turn (while the dog is doing his business). You cannot attack that round. Leave a marker on that hex and if another figure stands in that space he loses a turn to clean his shoes/boots. Submitted by ewabbie
30. Nova - Once per game, you can cause the sun to go nova. Everyone dies. Game over. Submitted by Manatee
31. Freak Speed - After reveling an order marker, you may roll the 20 sided die. If you roll a 2-20, you may move an additional 10 hexes, you must end your move on the hex you were on before rolling the 20 sided die. On a roll of a 1, this power has no effect. Submitted by clan cambell
32. +Rep - After moving and instead of attacking, you may choose any figure within six clear sight spaces of Forumite. Roll the 20-sided die. If you roll a number, place a green rep marker on that figure's Army Card. Submitted by Shedim Kabal
33. Forget Frenzy - After taking a turn with any Army Card, you may forget to roll for Frenzy. Submitted by Shedim Kabal
34. Vertically Challenged - You may not steal a cookie from the Cookie Jar, even when adjacent to the Cookie Jar. Submitted by Shedim Kabal
35. Lazy Eye Special Attack - Range 10. Attack 1. Roll the attack die. If a skull is rolled, your opponent may choose any small or medium figure within ten line of sight spaces of Lazy Eye Liz to receive the wound. The chosen figure may not roll defense dice. Lazy Eye Liz cannot be affect by her own Lazy Eye Special Attack. Submitted by Shedim Kabal
36. Those dice Are Rigged! - After losing, roll the D20 just to prove you always roll 1-5. Of course this time, you are guaranteed to roll a 20. Submitted by Simpsons Scaper
37. Look That Way! - Trick your opponent into looking the other way, then grab the first figure you find and put it on the board as one you control. Groan to yourself when you realized it was Deathwalker 7-9000. Submitted by Simpsons Scaper
38. Shoe Throw - Keep throwing shoes at the board and removing everything knocked over until you run out of shoes. Obviously, you're only going to hit your own figures. Submitted by Anitar
39. Reckless Abandon Special Attack - Range 8 Attack 50: If your opponent is a Venoc Viper or rolls at least one skull, shield, blank, or Valkyrie symbol, all skulls count as wounds on the attacking figure. Cannot be used by Mind Exchanged figures. Submitted by Anitar
40. Special Attack - Range 0 Attack 7000: Yes, you can only attack yourself. Submitted by Anitar
41. Light-speed Blitz - Move all your figures up to 50 spaces. Everyone who doesn't land in a worse position than they started gets 30 wounds. Submitted by Anitar
    
42. Curse you, Door! - When your roll would destroy the door, all your dice switch to blanks, all the door's switch to shields, and the door gets both Counter Strike (Charos version) and Evil Eye Defense. Submitted by Anitar
    
43. Revenge, a Dish Best Served Cold - All your opponents' destroyed figures are revived with full life and 10 extra attack and defense. After you lose soundly, all the other players get ice cream. Submitted by Anitar
    
44. Pants Dance - Sorry, no dancing. Just put on extra pairs of pants. Submitted by Anitar
    
45. What am I, Four? - You must fill in a coloring book. The other players judge your artistry. If they think you did a bad job, you are shamed. Submitted by Anitar
    
46. Animal Fiesta - All animals in the vicinity party on the battlefield. Knocked-over figures are destroyed. Submitted by Anitar
    
47. Betrayal - Your teammate(s) betray you and join the enemy. And 5 squads of 4th Massachusetts Line join them. Submitted by Anitar
    
48. Meow! - Roll the 20-sided die. If you roll 1-20, you lose. If you roll 21, meow as loud as you can for as long as you can. All your figures are destroyed when you stop. Submitted by Anitar
    
49. Redefined Objectives - Your opponent can change his/her victory condition, even to "At any point in the round, if you have at least one figure with at least 0 Life left, you win". Submitted by Anitar
    
50. Friendly Fire - This figure can only attack figures you control. Submitted by White Noise
    
51. Overrated - Everyone must talk about how great a certain unit is, even if it's the most inflexible one in the game. Submitted by White Noise
    
52. That Unit Costs Too Much! - Everyone must complain about a certain unit on the board has too high of a point cost. If the target of this ability is Isamu or Otonashi, you may slap your opponents for their stupidity. Submitted by White Noise
    
53. Hey Listen! Hey! - If you activate this ability, all the people in the room must gang up on you while you tell them that the door is locked and you need a key and that this wall has vines on it and you can climb it. If you manage to survive the onslaught you must talk about saving the great deku tree for the remainder of the game. Submitted by White Noise
    
54. Runa's Craptastattack* -
    Range Unlimited, Attack 0. Roll a 20 sided die. On a roll of anything, the player will realize how completely craptastic Runa is, and remove her from the table.
    
    * Ability does not apply to KillerCactus.
    Submitted by SuperflyTNT
    
55. DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS EFFECT -
    If you like the idea of D&D Scape: Immediately reinforce your team with any three Custom D&D Minis Figures you own in your start zone (if before Master Set #3 comes out), or any three figures from Master Set #3 after it comes out.
    
    OR:
    
    If you don't like the idea of D&D Scape: Your opponent removes any three figures on your team that he/she feels could possibly fit in with a D&D theme. Submitted by Chas
    
56. Onion Knight Special Attack -
    Range 5. Roll a D20. Upon a roll of 11 or more yell, "You're Not Funny" and the opponent loses all order markers this round. If your opponent's girlfriend is watching the game, she must get up and leave. Submitted by SuperflyTNT
    
57. Holy Sheep! - When Holy Sheep is activated you proclaim yourself the one true god. Every one within six clear sight spaces looses all reason and believes you. Have your enemies jump into lava or off the board into eternal damnation because it's funny. Submitted by J4Jandar
    
58. Frankenstein's Foley - When activating this glyph you get really upset when some one will not share their body parts with you, even when they're dead. Submitted by J4Jandar
    
59. Let Them Wear Fur... - Activate this glyph and whenever a Wolf of Badru or Wulsinu is destroyed run over and throw a bucket of red paint at the attacking figure screaming animal activist garbage while looking insane and sounding idiotic. Submitted by J4Jandar
    
60. Gulpic Fail Special Ability - At any time during your turn, once per game, you may point to an opponent's card. Upon pointing to the card, the opponent realizes that the card isn't actually where he thought it was and must therefore remove all figures on that non-card from the game. Submitted by SuperflyTNT
    
61. Seven Dwarves - At the end of any opponent's turn, if you have exactly seven Axegrinders of Burning Forge in a single file line of adjacency, that opponent must either sing the song "Heigh-ho" or let you immediately take a turn with the Axegrinders of Burning Forge. You can take this turn without revealing an order marker. Submitted by GaryLASQ
62. Improved Deathwalker Defense?: All Deathwalkers in play gain the Special Ability One Shield Defense. Submitted by Killometer
63. Snow Speed (on a unit with an even move number):
    If the entire unit's move consists of moving on heavy snow, and that unit does not gain elevation at any point in its move, it may move one additional space so long as it ends its move on a heavy snow space. Submitted by White Noise
    
64. Zeno's Paradox -
    When moving with this unit, you must first figure out if all of the fractions of spaces (in between the space it is on and any given adjacent space) add up to another space. If so, that unit's move number drops down to one, and it loses to a turtle in a footrace. Submitted by White Noise
65. Sure-Thing Bonding - Instead of taking a turn with this unit, you may take your next turn with the squad on your next order marker. Submitted by ProtoFury
66. "No One Understand Krug" Special Attack - At any point during your turn, you may chose to activate "No One Understand Krug" Special Attack. When activated, Krug is overcome by his lost dreams of becoming a professional ballet dancer, and may attack any two adjacent figures in a childish tantrum. Submitted by ProtoFury
67. Figure Confusion -
    You may insist that one figure is actually another, no matter what your opponent says. Submitted by Anitar
    
68. Printer Paper -
    Special Attack Range 1, Attack Special
    Count up all the paper in the nearest printer and add it to a 20-sided die roll. If you roll at least 65, throw all the paper at your opponent and run away laughing. Then come back within five minutes, apologize, and pick up the paper. Submitted by Anitar
    
69. White Text -
    You may speak in white text so nobody knows what you're saying.
    
    ^ you might want to highlight that one. Submitted by Anitar
    
70. Unnecessary Havoc -
    Destroy one figure you control. Submitted by Anitar
    
71. Defensive Strike -
    When attacking, add 3 shields to your roll. Submitted by Anitar
    
72. Shield Assault -
    When defending, add 3 skulls to your roll. Submitted by Anitar
    
73. Order Marker Restate -
    Your opponent may not use his 'X' Order Marker to take a turn. Submitted by Anitar
    
74. Dice Restate -
    If you are playing with First Edition dice, you may not use defense dice to attack or attack dice to defend. Submitted by Anitar
    
75. Special Power Restate -
    You may use your special powers at appropriate times. Submitted by Anitar
    
76. Ruin Restate -
    The height of all Ruins becomes 6. Submitted by Anitar
    
77. Tree Restate -
    Non-flying figures may not move through trees. Submitted by Anitar
    
78. Molten Lava Restate -
    Non-flying figures (except Brunak and Obsidian Guards) die 95% of the time they step in lava and stop the other 5%. Submitted by Anitar
    
79. Line of Sight Restate -
    All figures, tiles, obstacles, and even glyphs have a chance to block Line of Sight. Submitted by Anitar
    
80. No-Height Restate -
    Stacking glyphs and/or liquid tiles does not affect the level they are on. Submitted by Anitar
    
81. Shame! SHAME!! -
    You are shamed for even thinking of using this. Submitted by Anitar
82. Seppuku - Once per game you may destroy all Samurai you control. Submitted by Anitar
83. Messiah Factor - You gain the following powers: Healing Touch, Rejected by Death, and Slither. Submitted by Taeblewalker
84. Genconic Gamerfunktastic Attack -
    Range: 10 spaces
    Attack: 5
    
    If a figure has been played 3 consecutive days at any GenCon, it has earned the Genconic Gamerfunktastic Attack. The figure, upon activation, must taint the nostrils of all figures within 10 spaces. Roll once for attack, each defender rolls separately. Figures such as Sujoah or the Fyorlag Spiders that lack noticable nostrils are still affected due to the chemical burns to the eyes. Submitted by SuperflyTNT
85. Spontaneous Soliloquy - Before taking a turn, the player who controls this figure must remove it from the board, hold it in their hand and wave it around as they reminisce about a similar Heroscape game or other humorous situation. Staring at this figure in the player's gesticulating hand will hypnotize all opponents; a dull glassy expression washing over their faces, mouths hanging slightly open and drool just forming in the corners but never quite falling onto their neatly arranged cards, until the player finishes their turn. The player must begin their turn by saying, "Remember that one time..." and end with, "So where was this guy, anyway?" Submitted by Shedim Kabal
86. Saved - When any of you or your opponents figures who follow Jandar are about to be destroyed, you must remove all wound markers. Any character who does not start following Jandar at any time (including after another player rolls enough skulls to destroy them) may agree of their own Valkyrie-given free will to follow Jandar and be Saved upon death but may go back to their old general at any time (including right after being saved). Any figure who starts following Jandar is predestined to be saved at all times and can never loose salvation. Submitted by lefton4ya
    
87. Reincarnation - After any unigue hero is destroyed, roll the D20. If you roll 1 you may place a glyph anywhere on the board. 2-7, subtract 20 from your point cost and redraft a hero of that cost and place on the board. 8-13, redraft a hero of your cost and place on the board. 15-19, add 25 to your point cost and redraft a hero of that cost and place on the board. 20, you have reached nirvana and may place a 15-height tree anywhere on the board. Submitted by lefton4ya
    
88. 5 Pillars - At the start of each round, roll D20. 1-4, declare out loud who your general is. 5-8, face all your characters towards the wellsprings and do not move on your second turn marker. 9-12, you must destroy or wound 5% of your army and an opponent may heal or ressurect 5% of his army. 13-16, you must not move or attack in your first two turns but you may take an automatic frenzy on your last turn. 17-20, all your characters are teleoprted on and surrounding the highest point on the board. Submitted by lefton4ya
    
89. Atheist Manifesto - At any time during play any player may reject the existence of Valhalla and the Wellsprings. In tournaments, your death does not subtract the points you contributed to and your living till the end of the game does not add to your point total. Submitted by lefton4ya
    
90. Apocalypse and new Valhalla - After each turn by all players, roll the 20 sided die three times. If you roll 6 three times in a row, destroy all figures from players who do not have an account on heroscapers.com. Destroy the map and create a new one comprising of one of each Master set and large terrain set for each figure remaining. Then start a new scenario with the remaining figures where everyone has no attack and infinite defense and there is unlimited rounds and no time limit. Submitted by lefton4ya
    Read lefton4ya's disclaimer on page 5.
    
91. Glyph of Understanding - Wit dis glyph use undertand wat da 'ell da uder player means whin he'd doo da talk'n at you by try'n to do da splain'n of his interpetation of da rules.Submitted by Grishnahk
    
92. Glyph of the Visually Impaired - All of your ranged figures have a maximum range of 2. Submitted by Rich10
    
93. Glyph of Beer - Before any figure you control takes a turn, roll the 20 sided dice. On a roll of 1-10, your figure falls asleep and loses a turn. On a roll of 11-20, your figure take a turn with 1 less attack die and 1 less move. On defense, all of your figures have 2 less defense dice (defense dice cannot be less than zero).Submitted by Rich10
    
94. Plaid Hat Summoning - At any time during the game (especially if it's going badly) a player may pull a plaid hat out of his pocket, put it on, and claim to be Truth. This false Truth may make all sorts of promises and predictions about Hasbro, WOTC, future boosters, etc, until everyone has forgotten about the game on the table. If a second player uses the Plaid Hat Summoning special in the same game, the two summoners must have a war....Submitted by Sylvano the Wasabus
95. Infinite Pi Special Attack -
    Range: π Attack: π
    When attacking with Infinite Pi Special Attack, get a calculator and wait for it to calculate out all of Pi. Once it calculates, take 4 dice. Roll 3 of them. Take the other one and cut it up so that way it equals π-3. Annoy your opponent by not waiting for a very long time. Submitted by rednax
96. Scared of Heights - When moving down, you must count the side of each hex. Submitted by wolfeman1968
    
97. Common Hero One Shield Defense - When rolling defense dice and you roll at least one shield the most wounds you can take is one. Submitted by wolfeman1968
    
98. Not Flying - This figure may not pass over ruins, obstacles, figures or water. Figure must count height when moving up and may take engagement strikes when leaving an adjacent figure. Submitted by wolfeman1968
    
99. Look I Whiffed - When rolling attack or defense dice and you roll no skulls or shields. You must sigh loudly and yell "You got to be kidding me!!!!" Submitted by wolfeman1968
    
100. Statue - Instead of moving or attacking you do nothing this turn. Submitted by wolfeman1968
     
101. Run in Circles - If you start movement adjacent to a figure, you may move all the way around them and land in the space you started from. Substract one your your attack dice because you are dizzy. Submitted by wolfeman1968
     
     Congrats to wolfeman1968 on submitting the 101st ability not worth activating, and it is indeed an ability not worth considering! Thanks to everyone else who helped push this list to the 101 mark. But why let the fun stop at 101?
     
     
102. Troll Wizard Bonding - Before taking a turn with ____ You may take a turn with any troll wizard you control. (substitute any figure type that currently does not exist...Orc Fighter, Human War Witch, Elf Champion, etc) Submitted by wolfeman1968
     
103. You Can't Do That - You may break the rules and even cheat so long as you finish your turn before an opponent claims "You can't do that."Submitted by twilkerson
     
     
104. Failure Fall - When rolling dice, if any fall off the table, the are counted as a blank on the heroscape dice, and a 1 on the D20.
     (this is an actual house rule in my group) Submitted by twilkerson
     
     

Feel free to submit any abilities not worth activating that you've come up with.

[Poseidon's trident]

Cool you got it going.
Taelord special:Your base attack and defense is 3.You now cost 180 points.All abilities are lost and replaced with Attack Aura.
Walking:the opposite of flying

[Onacara]

Originally Posted by Poseidon's trident

Cool you got it going.
Taelord special:Your base attack and defense is 3.You now cost 180 points.All abilities are lost and replaced with Attack Aura.
Walking:the opposite of flying

Tunneling would be the opposite of flying.

[Poseidon's trident]

Originally Posted by Onacara

Tunneling would be the opposite of flying.

Thanks, hows this? Walking:somewhere between flying and tunneling.
Road Rage:You may only use this ability when driving a car.Wait, cars can't be summoned to Valhalla so completely ignore this ability. Sorry for the special ability spot we took up on this units card.Here will make it up to you by lowering this cards point value from 100 to 80. Now show your friends that you can now have otonashi and Isamu. Look at their face. Sorry we will let you play now.

[cmgames]

Ripped Pants of Awesomeness Summoning: Roll a d20. On a roll of 15 or higher, if Jotun is on the battlefield, you summon his Ripped Pants of Awesomeness. You become as awesome as Jotun. Jotun now has it in for you and will target you for his attack if possible.

~Z

[Sup3rS0n1c]

I believe the Groks already have one such ability...

Swim Break- After moving onto a water tile, you must end your movement.

Bad Karma- If you won your last game, after rolling any dice, any opponent that has any form of hostile feelings toward the roller may change the dice to any side of their choice. If there is more than one such opponent, they all get to do it. If there are none, get a bystander that is rooting for the opponent to win to do so.

[Utgarsrage]

Slow Play of Lameness On a D20 roll of 8 or more your slow play to the point where your opponent falls asleep. On a D20 roll of 14 or more you slow play enough to warrant your opponent strangling you. On a D20 roll of 20, you slow play so much you actually go back in time. If playing in a tournament add 8 to your D20 roll.

[gorthan313]

How's this?


Picture Day: All units on the board stop their movement to get their pictures taken. The picture-taking period lasts one round for every figure on the board. While this event is going on, no units can attack or even move.

[spiteofthedice]

Roll: Instead of Attacking, roll the d20. If you roll a 1-20, nothing happens.

Poke: Instead of Attacking, figure may roll the d20. If you roll a 1-19, nothing happens. If you roll a 20, the target of the poke receives 1/100th of a wound marker.

Wait: Instead of Attacking, figure may choose to wait.

Cook: Instead of Attacking, figure may claim to have opened a pizzeria.


Oh, and let's not forget-

Grok Training

[StarofEarendil]

Precision-This character may target another character.

[spiteofthedice]

Originally Posted by StarofEarendil

Precision-This character may target another character.

How about Imprecision - This figure may target itself with Attacks

[Onacara]

Sore Loser If you are getting beaten soundly in a game you can roll the d20. Roll 1-5 and say "I couldn't roll a skull/shield if my life depenede on it" Roll a 6-14 and say "Are you flippin kidding me?" Roll a 15-19 and you can then move all of your remaining figures to the highest point on the map and surround all of your enemies figures with molten lava tiles. Roll a 20 and flip the whole table over and storm out.