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Old September 3rd, 2014, 01:34 AM
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CrzyRaccoon CrzyRaccoon is offline
 
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Intar


Intar was a kyrie interested in science and philosophy, she thought of the war as a stagnation to Valhalla evolution. The alien warriors she sees are but primitive killing machines to her, she only had interest to the humans from earth for their potential and the soulborgs for their advance technology.

One night, she sneak through one of Jandar's scout bases filled with many humans to study their behavor, she saw the Airborne Elites, the 4th Massachusetts and the Johnny "Shotgun" Sullivan, they won the battle against the Marros, but instead of studing the Marro's weaponary and tactics, they celebrated like wild animals, drinking and wrestling. Their weaponary was primitive, unlike the soulborgs'. She was uninterested and disgusted. Then she found a cave guarded by Omnicron snipers and repulsors, they where advanced but unthoughtful, the worst state of all. Her curiosity of the cave overcame her, so she stealthly steal some grenades and went up to the cave behind a rock, then she thrown the grenades to the side of the base. The Omnicrons went and check the blast but one stayed, so she thrown one in front of it to divert it and fly right to the cave, when travelling through the cave, Jandar was alarted by the explosions and quickly flight out. Jandar didn't see her and she continue the discovery of the cave, at the end of the tunnels, she found a wellspring.

She took a drink from it and saw a powerful vision, a place of the humans familiar to the ones she saw but they where far more technological advanced that they seem like magic to her. Floating cities, humans using tiny robots to shape tools and weapons, and creating new life forms. She saw the other animals in this vision stand upright and able to talk unlike the others, robots that make soulborgs look like the works of cavemen, she was amazed, then she realize that it was earth in the year 2430, very far from what the others are from. The future of earth was breath taking, then she found that she became stronger, smarter and her wings grown gloriously. She sighted an uplifted crab, escaping a building, but a bomb that tempered with space and time set off at her location. At a flash, she appeared in front of her, the vision stop and she notice that she summon the uplifted crab to her world, the crab question where she was, and Intar replied "In the army of enlightenment."
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Old September 3rd, 2014, 01:58 AM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
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Re: Intar

Greetings! Welcome to the site and the Fan Fic community! It's good to see another fan fiction. This one looks pretty interesting with the technology.
Unfortunately, I noticed a fair amount of grammar errors (Don't worry. I have a reputation for being grammatically picky.). I would suggest that you proofread what you've written before posting it.
~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

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Old September 3rd, 2014, 01:34 PM
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CrzyRaccoon CrzyRaccoon is offline
 
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Re: Intar

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend View Post
Greetings! Welcome to the site and the Fan Fic community! It's good to see another fan fiction. This one looks pretty interesting with the technology.
Unfortunately, I noticed a fair amount of grammar errors (Don't worry. I have a reputation for being grammatically picky.). I would suggest that you proofread what you've written before posting it.
~TGRF.
I did some proof reading :P, but english isn't my dominated subject :s.

BTW, the crab that she summon have been posted into my custom!!!
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