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Old December 3rd, 2022, 01:52 PM
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ryguy266 ryguy266 is offline
 
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New Myth - Sniper! Myths of Valhalla by Ryguy

It's official. This is a series now (more like an anthology). This is a collection of stories of my favorite games and favorite moments in Heroscape, written in the fashion of fictional short stories. I'm calling them "Myths of Valhalla" because none of these are intended to be canon or connected with each other at all. Some of them may be pretty intense, some of them may be pretty goofy. Some are shorter, some are longer. Under each header there are some brief notes before each story, detailing what game the story was from and why I chose to write about it. They're listed top to bottom in reverse order of writing, but they can be read in any order.

Please enjoy my newest story, Sniper.

Sniper
Spoiler Alert!


Trophy
Spoiler Alert!


Hero
Spoiler Alert!


Marshmallows
Spoiler Alert!


Silence
Spoiler Alert!



Betrayal
Spoiler Alert!


P.S. Like any good writer, I'm always happy to hear feedback, whether it is positive or constructively critical. Let me know what you think! Also, as a shameless self-promotion, I do have several fiction novels available on Amazon. You can find the newest one here. If you enjoyed these stories, you may enjoy my other work, even if they don't have anything to do with your favorite game.

Last edited by ryguy266; April 21st, 2024 at 12:07 PM. Reason: New myth!
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  #2  
Old December 3rd, 2022, 03:22 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Betrayal by Ryguy

Hey @ryguy266 ! Welcome to our small corner of HSers!

I'm a writer myself, so I definitely understand your desire for feedback. It's the only way to truly test yourself and get better. On that note, let me offer you my thoughts:

Spoiler Alert!

~TGRF.

Last edited by TGRF; December 4th, 2022 at 01:04 PM.
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  #3  
Old December 4th, 2022, 12:22 PM
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ryguy266 ryguy266 is offline
 
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Re: Betrayal by Ryguy

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend View Post
Hey @ryguy266 ! Welcome to our small corner of HSers!

I'm a writer myself, so I definitely understand your desire for feedback. It's the only way to truly test yourself and get better. On that note, let me offer you my thoughts:

Spoiler Alert!

~TGRF.
Hey TGRF! Thanks for the welcome, I'd noticed you were a big figurehead in this. I appreciate the feedback! It's like hearing from my editor without having to pay my editor I guess I assumed most people were caught up on VC lore. Deltacron is a Jandar VC soulborg and Malone is an Aquilla VC gunslinger. I set the premise up as a "betrayal" of Jandar and Aquilla by Sir Gilbert (Jandar) and the Quasatch (Aquilla). It really doesn't make too much sense, but it's not like my gf and I were too focused on lore when we were drafting. Just wanted to share this fun battle ending and have it make some sense why we each finished with mixed units opposing each other. It was a fun exercise though, I think I'll be sharing more in the future
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  #4  
Old December 4th, 2022, 01:08 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Betrayal by Ryguy

Quote:
Originally Posted by ryguy266 View Post
Hey TGRF! Thanks for the welcome, I'd noticed you were a big figurehead in this. I appreciate the feedback! It's like hearing from my editor without having to pay my editor I guess I assumed most people were caught up on VC lore. Deltacron is a Jandar VC soulborg and Malone is an Aquilla VC gunslinger. I set the premise up as a "betrayal" of Jandar and Aquilla by Sir Gilbert (Jandar) and the Quasatch (Aquilla). It really doesn't make too much sense, but it's not like my gf and I were too focused on lore when we were drafting. Just wanted to share this fun battle ending and have it make some sense why we each finished with mixed units opposing each other. It was a fun exercise though, I think I'll be sharing more in the future
Honestly, most people probably are caught up on VC lore. I'm sure I'm in the minority there. But that being said, I like to write my fan fictions from the stand point of an outsider reading them, with no knowledge of HS.

However, I did enjoy it and look forward to more!

~TGRF.
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  #5  
Old February 3rd, 2023, 07:05 PM
TalesOfValhallaOfficial TalesOfValhallaOfficial is offline
 
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Re: Betrayal by Ryguy

Hey Ryguy we read and talked about your short story a few weeks back on the ToV Podcast. Here is a link to the segment:
Looking forward to more as soon as you are able!
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  #6  
Old February 4th, 2023, 02:11 PM
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ryguy266 ryguy266 is offline
 
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Re: Myths of Valhalla by Ryguy

Quote:
Originally Posted by TalesOfValhallaOfficial View Post
Hey Ryguy we read and talked about your short story a few weeks back on the ToV Podcast. Here is a link to the segment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGwqrj_C3os
Looking forward to more as soon as you are able!
Wow, this is a huge honor! I'm so glad you all liked it. Joe did such a great job reading the story, he really brought it to life. And you all took away exactly what I wanted from the story.

Your kind words inspired me to write another of the many stories I have stored away. I just uploaded the story to the OP. You have a lot of great fanfiction to get through in this forum, but I hope you all will enjoy this one as well. And I hope you don't mind me changing the title of this thread, influenced in part by your great work.

P.S. @Joecrazy3193 I think that a Heroscape short film sounds like a really fun idea (although your normal cup games are so well edited, they're practically short films in themselves). If you want a co-writer, hit me up!
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  #7  
Old February 4th, 2023, 03:33 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Myths of Valhalla by Ryguy (New story "Silence" out now!

So awesome to see this becoming a collection of short stories. As usual, you can find my thoughts below:
Spoiler Alert!

Since this is now a collection, I will be adding this to the index, which means ratings can now be collected for the individual stories.

As for my own ratings, I will rate 'Betrayal' as a 6 - Good. There was some good stuff in there, but my confusion about who was on whose side, and the occasional lack of understanding of what was going on, detracted from my experience.

'Silence' I will give between a 7 and a 8, closer to an 8 - Excellent. It had excellent description, was easily visualized, and really the only thing I didn't like is that I wished there was more to it.

Any other readers can either post their ratings for individual stories here in the thread, or PM them to me if you wish to remain anonymous. The rating system can be found below:
Spoiler Alert!


Looking forward to more stories!

~TGRF.
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  #8  
Old February 4th, 2023, 05:50 PM
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ryguy266 ryguy266 is offline
 
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Re: Myths of Valhalla by Ryguy (New story "Silence" out now!

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend View Post
So awesome to see this becoming a collection of short stories. As usual, you can find my thoughts below:
Spoiler Alert!

Since this is now a collection, I will be adding this to the index, which means ratings can now be collected for the individual stories.

As for my own ratings, I will rate 'Betrayal' as a 6 - Good. There was some good stuff in there, but my confusion about who was on whose side, and the occasional lack of understanding of what was going on, detracted from my experience.

'Silence' I will give between a 7 and a 8, closer to an 8 - Excellent. It had excellent description, was easily visualized, and really the only thing I didn't like is that I wished there was more to it.

Any other readers can either post their ratings for individual stories here in the thread, or PM them to me if you wish to remain anonymous. The rating system can be found below:
Spoiler Alert!


Looking forward to more stories!

~TGRF.
Hey, I appreciate the feedback as always! I plan to leave all the stories as-is generally, and incorporate the feedback into future stories. However, I did go back and update the introduction for "Betrayal" thanks to your critiques. My intended audience is 'Scapers, but it's clear now (and in retrospect, I don't know why it wasn't clear before) that the VC lore is not as ingrained in everyone as it is in me. That's totally fine, but I should have adjusted for that. A brief discussion on the armies and their general alignments has been added.

While you can't go back and read it for the first time, I'm hoping that for other readers in a similar situation, this will clear up any confusion. Even a few words of exposition in a story only a few hundred words long really slows everything down. As you've already deduced from my writing style, I don't tend to ramble. But adding it beforehand is an easy way to help people keep track of things, and I plan to do that moving forward.

I didn't know about this rating system, but I appreciate the generous score. Thanks for keeping this subforum alive!
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  #9  
Old February 4th, 2023, 06:25 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Myths of Valhalla by Ryguy (New story "Silence" out now!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ryguy266 View Post
Hey, I appreciate the feedback as always! I plan to leave all the stories as-is generally, and incorporate the feedback into future stories. However, I did go back and update the introduction for "Betrayal" thanks to your critiques. My intended audience is 'Scapers, but it's clear now (and in retrospect, I don't know why it wasn't clear before) that the VC lore is not as ingrained in everyone as it is in me. That's totally fine, but I should have adjusted for that. A brief discussion on the armies and their general alignments has been added.

While you can't go back and read it for the first time, I'm hoping that for other readers in a similar situation, this will clear up any confusion. Even a few words of exposition in a story only a few hundred words long really slows everything down. As you've already deduced from my writing style, I don't tend to ramble. But adding it beforehand is an easy way to help people keep track of things, and I plan to do that moving forward.

I didn't know about this rating system, but I appreciate the generous score. Thanks for keeping this subforum alive!
The rating system is just the standard one I use for the index, and all other fan fictions. That way everyone is using the same thing. Give the index a look if you haven't - it's a quick way to find new stories.

Yes, killing pace is definitely something we all want to avoid. There's something to be said for finding concise ways to just show what needs to be known - like a quick line of dialogue between allies - but for short stories such as these, an introductory blurb works just as well.

And I don't edit what I've posted either, except to fix things like grammar/spelling errors. All criticism I receive goes towards the next project. Definitely the way to do it I feel.

Finally, on the lore - obviously we're all HSers here, so there is quite a bit of common ground. When I'm writing a fan fiction, I try to look at it from an outsider's perspective, even explaining what kyrie look like and whatnot. But again, in short stories, this isn't really necessary.

Keep up the good writing!

~TGRF.
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  #10  
Old March 9th, 2023, 12:57 PM
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ryguy266 ryguy266 is offline
 
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Re: Myths of Valhalla by Ryguy (New story "Silence" out now!

New story up! Would appreciate the read! This one's a lot more lighthearted than the others
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  #11  
Old March 9th, 2023, 02:18 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Myths of Valhalla by Ryguy (New story "Silence" out now!

Here's my thoughts:
Spoiler Alert!

~TGRF, glad to see this continuing.
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  #12  
Old March 17th, 2023, 05:32 PM
TalesOfValhallaOfficial TalesOfValhallaOfficial is offline
 
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Re: Myths of Valhalla by Ryguy (New story "Silence" out now!

Hello there ryguy! Just stopping by to drop off our latest take on your "Silence" story and here I see you have added another story! Awesome! We will have to take a look at that one as soon as we can. Enjoy what we thought. All the best to you.
Ryan Wilke aka Tales of Valhalla
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