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  #1  
Old January 24th, 2015, 01:20 PM
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Koolster25 Koolster25 is offline
 
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Koolster25's HS Jokes

HS Jokes

If these jokes made you smile, laugh, groan, facepalm, hang your head in your hands and cry, or maybe just for a second you even considered actually telling one of these, then my mission has been accomplished and I would love to here your thoughts, stories, etc. about them.

To describe this thread poetically:
Money can't buy happiness, and neither can my jokes.


What paper towel brand does Boba Fett use?
Bounty

The Pulverizer spilled blood all ogre himself.

Who's 60ft tall and ends lives?
Sir Dedrick the Giant Killer

Which Utgar unit is Captain America always trying to stop?
Fen Hydra

You can't trust Beakfaces.
They're sneaky.

The 4th Mass didn't win,
But they fought Valiantly

What did Guns n' Roses say to the Fyorlag Spiders?
Welcome to the jungle

Never play the Majestic Fires lottery.
It's Zel-rigged

Spoiler Alert!


What did C-3PO say to R2-D2 when they were both Mind Exchanged?
We're Doom-ed!

Watson: Why did we have to stop our movement 2 spaces away from that vortex guy?
Holmes: Why, it's Elemental-ry my dear Watson.

I wanted to be more than friends with the battlefield
But I got Start Zoned

What unit did the priest draft?
4th Mass

Don't trust those guys from Bleakewood.
They're pretty Shady

How did Zelrig lose his job?
He was Majestically Fired

Martial: Well, I'm pretty Reckless. Sometimes I take a Second Swing even when I know I shouldn't.
Baseball Team Owner: That's okay. You're Hire-d!

What's worse than my jokes?
Nothing

How do Marros win battles?
They Divide and conquer

People talk a lot about broken figures on this site.
I've heard duct tape works miracles

I submitted a custom Kobe Bryant figure to SoV.
He didn't pass

What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord with a Deathstalker?
Darth Maul

What's the temperature like on Tatooine?
I'm not one to (force) Leap to conclusions...
But I'd guess it's only Luke-warm
Was that one too Forced?
I bet you wish you could (force) Push that bad joke from your mind

How do you stop Augamo from charging?
Take away his credit card

What do you call it when Nilfheim fights Braxas?
Whatever you want, Dragons don't speak English

RttFF was a real tree-t

What do red ninja cows say?
Isa-Moo

What do you get when you play Soulbourgs on Dignan's map Fulcrum?
A Mechanical Advantage

What do you call when you use Greater Ice Elementals as a screen?
A Cold Front

What do you call it when you send out a group of Obsidian Guards?
A Heat Wave


What did the German say when asked "Do you like Soulborgs?"
Q Nein!


Which Heroscape figures like Indianapolis the best?
Nhah Scirh Colt-ists, they're fanatics

Which Heroscape figures like Oakland the best?
Dreadgul Raiders

What do you call it when one figure kills your whole army?
A Loss

Sonya: You look tired honey, how was your day?
Cyp: Draining

How do Marro Drones congratulate each other?
With a Hive five

Opponent: Atlaga is going to use Bolt of the Witherwood.
Me: Wither-would you please not?

Which Heroscape figures are the worst at music?
Goblin Cutters - they only know one Scale

What do Deathreavers say when the cops shows up?
Scatter!

Who's the hottest Heroscape figure?
Q-10

Which general has the most money?
Utgar, his Soulborgs are worth 7, 8, and 9K each.

DROW CHAINFIGHTER!!!
Did that Chain Grab your attention?

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
Hopefully, I'll find out tomorrow...

What do Earth Elementals say when Kurrok isn't paying attention?
Earth to Kurrok

Which C3G figure is the best at cleaning windows?
Mr. Fantastic
That wasn't too much of a stretch was it?

Who do I like better Gorrilinators or Mogrimm Forgerhammer?
Hmmm.... That's a Tough one....

Why don't more people play Star Wars 'Scape?
It's too much of a HoSSle

Why does everyone like Star wars maps?
They're BoSS!

What do you call Deathwalker 7000 on a swamp water space?
A Dirty Bomb

Where do Deathstalkers shop?
At the maul

Which Heroscape figure is the best Quarterback?
Kaemon Awa, he's got a Quick Release

Which Heroscape figures are the worst at arguing?
Vulcanmech Incendiborgs, their points are so Redundant

Which Heroscape figure keeps you warm on Christmas?
Fire Elemental, he always brings Fiery Presents

Watson: So if my army has an Air Elemental, a Fire Elemental, and a Water Elemental, what am I missing?
Sherlock: Why it's elementalry my dear Watson.

A Frost Giant of Morh shopped till he dropped.
He paid for everything with a dying swipe.

How does Master of the Hunt protest death?
He goes on a Mortal Strike.
Too bad Charos and the Samurai always launch a counter strike...

What do you call a mean Ogre Pulverizers who works with wood?
A Lumbering Bully

Omnicrons are repulsive...

What kind of music do Quasatch Hunters hate the most?
Techno

Also, I never understood why they were tracking the jungle...
It's not like it's going anywhere

Which Heroscape figure does the most drugs?
Retarius, he's always trippin'!

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
My Customs / C3V Minis Index / HoSS Minis Index / My HS Joke Thread / HOC

Last edited by Koolster25; June 13th, 2015 at 11:00 AM. Reason: Added more
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  #2  
Old January 24th, 2015, 01:56 PM
Arch-vile's Avatar
Arch-vile Arch-vile is offline
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

These are so bad. Which means I chuckled at half of them.
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  #3  
Old January 24th, 2015, 02:04 PM
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mac122 mac122 is offline
Saving the world - one lonely Marro at a time
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

Assuming you have a day job, don't quit it.


My Customs HoSS HoSS Sortable Index
Looking for the Codex?
My Trade List
Tourney Record: 2-11 I4031
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  #4  
Old January 24th, 2015, 03:22 PM
Koolster25's Avatar
Koolster25 Koolster25 is offline
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch-vile View Post
These are so bad. Which means I chuckled at half of them.
Thanks. That was the point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mac122 View Post
Assuming you have a day job, don't quit it.
Clearly my day job isn't as interesting as my jokes.

And thank you both for the (kind) replies.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
My Customs / C3V Minis Index / HoSS Minis Index / My HS Joke Thread / HOC

Last edited by Koolster25; January 24th, 2015 at 03:49 PM.
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  #5  
Old January 25th, 2015, 10:36 AM
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IshMEL IshMEL is offline
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

I love a good groaner. Here's another one for you:

What do Heroscapers in the South eat for breakfast?
Spoiler Alert!
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  #6  
Old January 25th, 2015, 03:20 PM
Koolster25's Avatar
Koolster25 Koolster25 is offline
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by IshMEL View Post
I love a good groaner. Here's another one for you:

What do Heroscapers in the South eat for breakfast?
Spoiler Alert!
That was a good one!

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
My Customs / C3V Minis Index / HoSS Minis Index / My HS Joke Thread / HOC
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  #7  
Old January 25th, 2015, 04:29 PM
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Taeblewalker Taeblewalker is offline
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

These aren't bad. Kudos.

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  #8  
Old January 25th, 2015, 05:02 PM
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Maklar the Silver Prince Maklar the Silver Prince is offline
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

Why can't Major Q9 drive?

Spoiler Alert!

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

Maklar the Silver Prince's Customs
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  #9  
Old January 25th, 2015, 09:46 PM
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Koolster25 Koolster25 is offline
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maklar the Silver Prince View Post
Why can't Major Q9 drive?

Spoiler Alert!
I thought about this one really hard and concluded it had to be an anti-joke. I figured it was:
Spoiler Alert!

But this one still made me laugh out loud.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
My Customs / C3V Minis Index / HoSS Minis Index / My HS Joke Thread / HOC
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  #10  
Old January 25th, 2015, 09:54 PM
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Maklar the Silver Prince Maklar the Silver Prince is offline
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koolster25 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maklar the Silver Prince View Post
Why can't Major Q9 drive?

Spoiler Alert!
I thought about this one really hard and concluded it had to be an anti-joke. I figured it was:
Spoiler Alert!

But this one still made me laugh out loud.
That's what I figured it was too. Go figure. Can you really believe he's just plastic?

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

Maklar the Silver Prince's Customs
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  #11  
Old February 6th, 2015, 07:57 AM
Koolster25's Avatar
Koolster25 Koolster25 is offline
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

Updated

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
My Customs / C3V Minis Index / HoSS Minis Index / My HS Joke Thread / HOC
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  #12  
Old February 8th, 2015, 10:02 PM
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Koolster25 Koolster25 is offline
 
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Re: Koolster25's HS Jokes

Updated

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
My Customs / C3V Minis Index / HoSS Minis Index / My HS Joke Thread / HOC
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