Spoiler Alert!
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Originally Posted by TheAverageFan
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Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
TheAverageFan So now that CoN is over for a day or two, might I prevail on you to share your thoughts with me? I need that feedback.  |
I must admit I've fallen behind. I have a lot of work over the next three days but once I finish the story I'll get back to you (aka I'll edit this post with my thoughts).
Edit: So
@ The Grim Reaper's Friend
I finally got around to finishing this, and my thoughts are that it was pretty good. It was short and sweet, and well-written as always, though it did leave me hungry for more. I really want to see the journey that leads the character in this story to the guy who is okay with summoning Marro and sending his own daughter into battle.
I only had one critique which was more of a point of confusion that I'll lay out below:
Spoiler Alert!
So in chapter seven Utgar is jailed and he's chained to the floor:
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The following night, Utgar was to be found in a dark cell, his feet bound by a long chain to a ring in the middle of the floor.
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He later uses the chain to attack some guards and then he escapes. But I have no idea how he leaves the cell so easily because he should still be chained to the floor. I didn't see anything about him unlocking or busting the chain so it's almost as if it disappears from the story.
Am I missing something or did you simply forget about it? I mean, it's a small issue if it's the latter as it'd only take a sentence or two to correct, but it nonetheless made me pause.
Anyhow, I am looking forward to any other Valkyrie prequels you're making. So there you have it. I would rate this an 8/10—there were very few flaws that I noticed, although it didn't soar to the heights that'd push it beyond an 8 in my opinion. I'd read more of this character's journey because I'd be curious to see how he and his daughter become such assholes. 
~TAF
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And here I was getting all depressed because you never gave me your thoughts... apparently @ mentions don't work when you just edit.
About that chain... yeah I think I just forgot about it. I usually don't outright forget stuff like that, so that's strange. Good catch.
I'm interested to hear what would have pushed it above an 8 for you, if there's anything specific.
As far as sequels... to be honest my writing has gone downhill in the past weeks to the point where I can't seem to write anything (see my FFC blog). Every project I start has problems, and interest only lasts a few days. I don't really know what the problem is. Right now it looks uncertain if I'll be writing anything.
~TGRF.