Quote:
Originally Posted by darius23__14
"I say tried, because Nerak stopped her, and held her at arm’s length."
I understand that this is a narrative but the moment you used "I" it broke the flow of the story and I was curious who it is that is recounting this story. Does that make sense? But other than that, again it was fantastic!
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That's something that I used to do before I learned how to write. Once I learned about breaking the narrative, that habit kind of faded away. Every now and then though, I will relapse into what I call the Former English Style, where authors like E. Nesbit would speak directly to the reader and explain things (Five Children and It might not strictly speaking follow that, but there's a whole style back then that did).
~TGRF.