Good stuff, but as one wise man told me about one of my stories....
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Originally Posted by Claws of Death
Hmmm..... not bad, but I'd suggest cutting back on cursing too much. Just a hint, since this IS a kid's site for the most part.
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Still, you are a good writer. Great job! Can't wait to see more!
Also, maybe you should put a warning at the beginning telling people that it is not about Heroscape.