David: "Welcome back, Sports Fans! My name is David, and I'm pleased as a wounded ferret to present another tournament to get 2011 started off right! Joining me in the booth is my good friend, Bob!"
Bob: "Thanks, David! I'm really anxious to get another tournament started. This tournament will only field 8 teams instead of 16. This will also be single-bracket instead of double. However, this tournament will have a lot of great surprises in store!"
David: "That's right, Bob! And the surprises are going to start right out of the gate with the line-up!"
Bob: "Before we announce the line-up, we should introduce our sponsor, Burt's Beer. Do you like flat? You'll like Burt's. Do you crave hangovers? You'll like Burt's. Have you ever wished you could get run over by a car? You'll like Burt's. It's not quite the same as getting run over by a car, but it's darned close!"
David: "You've got that right, Bob. Burt's Beer smells more like mold than burning rubber. But the time you'll spend passed out is about the same. To test this, let's go down to the field. Sock Puppet, are you there?"
Sock Puppet: "Ready to assist, David and Bob! I'm here on the X Marks the Spot map, which is about to be taken down so that another map can be set up for the tournament. Joining me is Mike!"
Mike: "I sure will miss this map, Sock Puppet. I found my stolen wallet, so I'm ready for a new map. Why are we here, Sock Puppet? The tournament isn't even ready to get started."
Sock Puppet: "Mike, we're here to conduct a taste test between drinking a can of Burt's Beer and getting run over by a car. One of us will drink the beer, and the other will get run over by a car. We'll see who revives first."
Mike: "That doesn't sound like fun at all. Fortunately, I love the flat taste of Burt's Beer. Where's my can?"
Sock Puppet (sipping a can of Burt's Beer): (glug-glug-glug-CLUNK!)
Mike: "Well, that figures ---- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Off Camera Announcer: "This tournament will be sponsored by Burt's Beer. Burt's Beer: The light at the end of the tunnel is just an oncoming train."
Coming up: the Teams!