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Forum: Fan Art & Fiction Today, 02:44 PM
Replies: 3,471
Views: 406,959
Posted By TGRF
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Are you the best writer?

A few hours, right... more like a few days. Ahem, sorry for the tardiness.

At any event, I've finally gotten my act together and given this some thought. As I'm sure many of you know, I like...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction March 12th, 2024, 06:21 PM
Replies: 3,471
Views: 406,959
Posted By TGRF
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Are you the best writer?

I'm glad it worked, because I felt like the letter format killed the tension quite a bit. In the outline, I was trying to really build up the enmity between the two parties and specifically the...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction March 9th, 2024, 02:19 PM
Replies: 3,471
Views: 406,959
Posted By TGRF
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Are you the best writer?

Well, in the spirit of resurrecting this contest, I have an actual real live entry. EL submitted something several months ago, so technically he should have won by default, but... the prompt is still...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction March 3rd, 2024, 01:00 PM
Replies: 3,471
Views: 406,959
Posted By TGRF
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Are you the best writer?

I'm pretty rusty with one-shot short stories these days, but I'm always down to throw my hat in the ring.

~TGRF.
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction February 29th, 2024, 02:30 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Well my thoughts on the prose - as in the 'flowery language' for lack of a better term - comes down to what I originally said:

I love flowery language as much as the next guy, but in my...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction February 20th, 2024, 06:19 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

I would submit to you this question: what is the purpose of a description? To enable the reader to see what is happening in his head with more ease. Let me therefore say that - save for a handful of...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction February 17th, 2024, 04:55 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Apostle's Creed Final Review:
The GoodI want to start with the things I liked about this story. This goes beyond the normal elements of pacing, tension, twists, and all that. These are things I...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction February 15th, 2024, 07:39 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapters 31-32:

Can he though? Honestly at this point I wouldn't be surprised if he misses point blank.

Having played CoN with you, I know this is exactly the type of thing you would do, and...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction February 14th, 2024, 07:26 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 30:

A hundred*

off*

free*? You might've meant freely there, not sure.

This is another instance of object-confusion. It seems like you're saying that the intruders couldn't pose...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction February 14th, 2024, 02:26 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Sure... :popcorn:


I have been presented with the need to go as close to gluten-free as possible, at least for a month or two. Note to self: don't overdo any one food group for an extended...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction February 13th, 2024, 06:44 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 29:

Sitting* 'Sat' being used in that way is - though regrettably common - not correct grammar-wise.

are expendable?

Guage taking the Yamato out is only the latest in a mounting...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction February 6th, 2024, 08:12 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 28:

Quickly*

A general marking, perhaps?

This reads a bit odd - the action it refers to - the group firing - is never stated, and instead implied, causing the 'but' to feel out of...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction February 3rd, 2024, 05:04 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 27:

Wait, no, what are you doing? You know how many germs are in there?!?

Another good description I wouldn't have thought of.

Just a missed line.

So Thomas, Brooke, Thorn,...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 31st, 2024, 04:16 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 26, parts II and III:

The*

Are you though?

Obviously this is something Brooke would never do, but it occured to me that they could easily call Voyeur's bluff. He just gave them...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 30th, 2024, 04:00 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 26, part I:

Not sure if this is intentional or not, but as 'zombie' is an adjective here, it can't be plural. 'Large zombie sightings'.

Again not sure if this is intentional, but you...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 30th, 2024, 01:09 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

I could not even begin to say. They are very different characters, and their introduction was so long ago you'd think that relation would've worn off by now. [/QUOTE]
Well first impressions are...
Forum: Scapers Online January 29th, 2024, 07:12 PM
Replies: 1,574
Views: 228,825
Posted By TGRF
Re: Website Issues (With Mysterious Disappearing Final Page)

Could you provide a link to his user profile? Because I cannot locate 'Kha' in the members list.

~TGRF.[/QUOTE]

You don't know who Kha is? No wonder I can find no mention of him being played...
Forum: Scapers Online January 29th, 2024, 06:00 PM
Replies: 1,574
Views: 228,825
Posted By TGRF
Re: Website Issues (With Mysterious Disappearing Final Page)

Could you provide a link to his user profile? Because I cannot locate 'Kha' in the members list.

~TGRF.
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 29th, 2024, 04:40 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 25:

While the punctuation is incorrect, as you already know, 'he' should still be capitalized if it follows a period.

This line seems off. It seems like something you the author would...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 27th, 2024, 04:52 PM
Replies: 108
Views: 82,144
Posted By TGRF
Re: Valhalla Fan Art and Fiction Forum Index

You, but no one else. It was a calculated decision I made a bit ago, once I knew better what I was dealing with for the novels.

~TGRF.
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 27th, 2024, 03:57 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 24:

Conscience*. A common mix up.

Ah, we have a man of culture here, I see.

Not a lot to say about this one. I still don't know exactly what kind of closure Thomas was looking for...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 27th, 2024, 01:54 PM
Replies: 108
Views: 82,144
Posted By TGRF
Re: Valhalla Fan Art and Fiction Forum Index

UPDATE: Added Apostle's Creed and Dawn of Darkness to the index. Included DoD's rating, bumping my rating up to 8.22 from 8.18. Re-hid the Rating PM sheet.
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 27th, 2024, 12:58 PM
Replies: 108
Views: 82,144
Posted By TGRF
Re: Valhalla Fan Art and Fiction Forum Index

Removed per author's request - I intend for them to return once certain novels are written. They both have heavy influences on the plot of my novels, and thus I didn't want future readers looking at...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 25th, 2024, 04:02 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 23:
No grammar things for this one.

The fact that Irene was able to even make it a contest with the spear pulling her seems odd to me... didn't the Reaper just stop a car with strength...
Forum: Fan Art & Fiction January 23rd, 2024, 05:46 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 18,909
Posted By TGRF
Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story

Chapter 22:

Sitting*

to*

quietly*

You've*. A contraction for 'You had' doesn't make sense here. Different tense.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 2000

 

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