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-   -   Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction (https://www.heroscapers.com/community/showthread.php?t=58704)

The Grim Reaper's Friend February 14th, 2021 09:35 PM

Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Greetings one and all. Yes, despite everything I've said or thought, I am still here, I am back, and I have written another fan fiction. Let it not be said that this forum is dead just yet.

This fiction is a retelling of the origins of Utgar, before he became a Valkyrie. Yes, I have told this story before. However, because I didn't think I did it justice, because I knew how to do it better, and because that is where my interest was, I have rewritten it. And now I present it to you.

I'm just going to dive right into it. There is a LOT of stuff I'd like to share with you about where my writing was, where it is now, and where I hope it will be. But due to the sheer amount of things I'd like to say, and the fact that most of you probably have zero interest in it unless you are writers yourself (;)) I will spare you the details.

Basically everything you actually NEED to know is summed up in the introduction, which can be found here. Once again, the website is owned by me, devoid of ads or background programs. You can read free of distractions.

Chapter One can be found here. Also note the handy map of the Volcarren which might help during certain chapters. There are sixteen chapters total, and I will attempt to post one every day.

Let the reading commence!

~TGRF.

The Grim Reaper's Friend February 14th, 2021 09:38 PM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
@William099 @TheAverageFan

I'm back.

~TGRF, pretty much out of words at this point.

TheAverageFan February 14th, 2021 10:04 PM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Ooh, unexpected fanfiction. I will check it out and give my usual (nitpicking) feedback when I have time (a dwindling commodity for me right now).

Looking at yer site again reminded me of that wiki-esque endeavor you started on a while ago. Similar chronicling of my older works is about the most writing I do lately just to not forget it all. I think the mindless writing is a sign that I need to recharge my creative batteries.

~TAF

The Grim Reaper's Friend February 15th, 2021 01:21 AM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAverageFan (Post 2448232)
Ooh, unexpected fanfiction. I will check it out and give my usual (nitpicking) feedback when I have time (a dwindling commodity for me right now).

Looking at yer site again reminded me of that wiki-esque endeavor you started on a while ago. Similar chronicling of my older works is about the most writing I do lately just to not forget it all. I think the mindless writing is a sign that I need to recharge my creative batteries.

~TAF

I find the best way to recharge creative batteries is to go back to whatever sparked your interest in the story in the first place. Find that first thing which gave you the initial seed of an idea. Maybe it's a song, or a scene from a movie, or something you read... I find just revisiting the initial inspiration-spawner always gets my interest going again.

~TGRF.

The Grim Reaper's Friend February 15th, 2021 01:00 PM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Chapter Two is now live. Some chapters (like this one) pick up immediately where the last one left off, with zero recap, so remember that you can always use the drop-down at the top to view the tail-end of the previous chapter.

Also, chapters will tend to be on the long side.

~TGRF.

TheAverageFan February 15th, 2021 09:52 PM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Okay I am caught up. Good so far; you always manage to keep up an impressively fast pace which I can't help but imagine is not something my own work ever manages. Only a couple dozen paragraphs in and we are set for our grand adventure.

Writing wise this one feels very distant and written matter-of-factly which stands out to me. It feels as blunt and harsh as its characters' lifestyles are so I assume it was done intentionally. Feels a lot like Dune in some areas (some; way, way less wordy). My only criticisms are a few instances of names being too close together (where one would normally revert to He's and She's), as well as the verb Licked being used thrice very close together.

As you said it would be it is already different from the other Utgar origin story which has my intrigue. Kind of feels like reading two different Competition Entries to the same Prompt, though if that were the case I'd say I already like this one better :up:

~TAF

The Grim Reaper's Friend February 15th, 2021 10:57 PM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAverageFan (Post 2448557)
Okay I am caught up. Good so far; you always manage to keep up an impressively fast pace which I can't help but imagine is not something my own work ever manages. Only a couple dozen paragraphs in and we are set for our grand adventure.

Writing wise this one feels very distant and written matter-of-factly which stands out to me. It feels as blunt and harsh as its characters' lifestyles are so I assume it was done intentionally. Feels a lot like Dune in some areas (some; way, way less wordy). My only criticisms are a few instances of names being too close together (where one would normally revert to He's and She's), as well as the verb Licked being used thrice very close together.

As you said it would be it is already different from the other Utgar origin story which has my intrigue. Kind of feels like reading two different Competition Entries to the same Prompt, though if that were the case I'd say I already like this one better :up:

~TAF

The fast pace is actually something I'm trying to cut back on. I feel like I'm too focused on introducing things quickly (see my recent FFC), and need to slow things down so that stuff can be introduced at a more natural pace. I have so far failed to do that, but if it's a plus in your book, then I'll count it as a win. ;)

The distant tone is something I neither realized nor intended. I'm chalking it up to being out of practice, and writing about characters who are indeed distant. It's also something I'm trying to do less of; I want to write more like I did with the opening of HiS, where everything was through the character's eyes and personal.

Dialogue tags (and tags in general) were a bit of an issue throughout this fiction for some reason. Sometimes it might sound a bit off, but I think for the most part it's okay. It doesn't help that the words sound one way while I'm writing and another when I reread them.

Glad you like it; more coming tomorrow!

~TGRF.

The Grim Reaper's Friend February 16th, 2021 02:49 PM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Chapter Three is now live!

Also, as this story was built with twists, I welcome speculation. I want to know how hard to spot the upcoming twists will be. Why was Runa taken? Was Runa taken, as Utgar believes? What will happen next?

~TGRF.

The Grim Reaper's Friend February 17th, 2021 01:43 PM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Chapter Four is now live! Comments/criticisms welcome!

~TGRF.

TheAverageFan February 17th, 2021 10:59 PM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
The fast pace is actually something I'm trying to cut back on. I feel like I'm too focused on introducing things quickly (see my recent FFC), and need to slow things down so that stuff can be introduced at a more natural pace. I have so far failed to do that, but if it's a plus in your book, then I'll count it as a win. ;)

Considering the last thing I wrote had a 60-page segment that consisted of little more than just characters visiting I'd say it's a plus. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
The distant tone is something I neither realized nor intended. I'm chalking it up to being out of practice, and writing about characters who are indeed distant. It's also something I'm trying to do less of; I want to write more like I did with the opening of HiS, where everything was through the character's eyes and personal.

I usually try to have the narration be very personal, but I think it works for Utgar as he seems like a very guarded individual who'd have little to say about his experiences.

Don't have much to say on chapters 3 + 4 other than lots of fighting and I'm curious what this villain (if he even is a villain) will turn out to be/want. You and your cliffhangers, you.

~TAF

The Grim Reaper's Friend February 18th, 2021 12:32 PM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAverageFan (Post 2448938)
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
The fast pace is actually something I'm trying to cut back on. I feel like I'm too focused on introducing things quickly (see my recent FFC), and need to slow things down so that stuff can be introduced at a more natural pace. I have so far failed to do that, but if it's a plus in your book, then I'll count it as a win. ;)

Considering the last thing I wrote had a 60-page segment that consisted of little more than just characters visiting I'd say it's a plus. :)

Hey, visits can totally work. Just look at Pride and Prejudice. Literally almost the whole book is either visits, preparing for visits, or reflecting back on visits. Proving once and for all that any setting will work if you have the right tension.

Chapter Five is now live!

~TGRF.

William099 February 19th, 2021 11:53 AM

Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction
 
Yay! :)


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