flameslayer93

Gosh time is flying.

I'm 30 years old now. Married. A dog, some cats. A mortgage, cars. Happy. For a very long time, I wasn't sure if I could be happy, at least not in the way that I am today. I still recall pouring myself into the my creative works, drinking perhaps a little too much, and indulging in hours and hours of video games several years ago.

Yesterday though, I was happy to lounge around the house with my wife. Without realizing it, I felt alive. I've had a few other days like that over the course of 2023, but each one only felt like a fever dream. Not real. And even the summer days would evaporate too quickly to latch on enough to realize this was real.

I'd say throughout my early 20s, and certainly before that, I had battled through depression. I quite literally remember telling myself to keep pushing on, it'll be worth it eventually. There were many many years it wasn't worth it. Now, I look to many years where it is. Now, when...

Pain. Physical. Emotional.
Felt it all, in the distant past.
The present day.
And again, now the past.
You're a rose in the distance now.
Blessing others in your embrace.
But you had to go.
To get better. I wanted you better.
You fought with the violets in the distance.
You fought with the tulips in the distance.
You're a rose in the distance now.
Every year got harder.
Your petals wilted. Your stem cracking.
I saw the petals fall. Your stem cracking.
I was there. But not the end.
The tulips and the violets were there this time.
They got in the way. Formed a barrier.
I felt them devils.
Though I know they too are flowers.
You became more distanced.
Plagued rainfall came.
Swept you into the distance. You rose.
And now you're a rose in the far distance.
I cannot see you. Only remember you.

Rest in peace, Rose Quinn....

@LoveElemental and I are married! Gonna post wedding pictures up later, but Im happy as a lark. So this goes to my blog.

"What are you selling?"
-RE4 Merchant


These last few weeks have done their best to leave a foul taste in my mouth. My job closed up, resulting in mass layoff in my family. We knew it was coming, just didn't know when. Business had picked up since the last blog posting, but the customers weren't paying. The EPA has been hounding the company, probably because develops want the building gone so they can build a parking lot for their extremely overpriced condos.


I had spent the weeks following job hunting.


Then, on Sunday, my dad had to go to the emergency room. The doctors had said he had suffered from mini strokes, brought on by his blood pressure skyrocketing. There had been a little brain damage, and he's developed a kidney disease as well. At least we didn't lose him.


He got released from the hospital today. Apparently he went to go lay down; he's probably glad to be in his own bed.
...

It’s the day after Thanksgiving and we all have things to be thankful for. This year my family has decided to do Thanksgiving Dinner on Saturday, and we ate pizza. The pizza was pretty good, so no complaints there.

I’ve nicknamed this year “Fakesgiving”, but at least we have a lot of things.

1) We ain’t homeless.
2) We have food in our bellies.
3) We have utilities, internet, and cell phones.
Soooo many cell phones lol.
4) I have my fiance, @LoveElemental . She supports me in all ventures.
5) I have heroscape, and all the friends and memories its brought me.

And onto the more materialistic things...

6) Our Caravan just had the brake pads replaced, so we won’t die when we’re driving in the snow.
7) We recently got a working PS4 and a Nintendo Switch. More Switch games to come in the future.
I just had another tooth pulled. That makes 4. We can only guess as to how much root canals...