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Every Tuesday night I go to Dignan's to play Heroscape. Here's what happens...
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Tuesday Nights at Dignan's (9/30/08)

Posted October 29th, 2008 at 10:02 PM by DrLivingston

This Tuesday was crowded. And I think it was because we had a rock star in our midst.

The Players:

Me: I'm DrLivingston. I am not a doctor. I am (apparently) very loud and...well loud is probably what I hear most. I drink a lot. On Tuesdays. But it really doesn't change how I play.

Dignan: Dignan is the host. He's kind of a ****, but he's usually pretty funny while he's being a ****. Witty in a really obnoxious insulting way. His wife is cool. I tracked dog **** all over their house (on accident I swear) and she was pretty cool about forgiving me.

Podwest is that guy you'd play Monopoly with who would land on your property and then roll the dice real quick before you could ask for your rent. And when you say,"WTF, man? You didn't even give me time!" he replies, "You snooze, you lose. Loser!"

I type this and I realize I have never said anything good about Podwest.

Oh well...

CheddarLimbo: CL is a very nice, very considerate guy. I asked CheddarLimbo if he had ever played any Warhammer games. He replied that anytime he had expressed an interest at a store he had basically encountered complete ***es. "Completely unlike the people I've met through Heroscape."

And as one of the first people CheddarLimbo met through Heroscape (at funrun's EPIC MAP event), I take complete credit for CheddarLimbo's embracing of the game. Yes, I am, that cool.

Kurisenshi: is this guy that works for animal control and has the coolest stories ever. And he's funny and has interesting armies to play against(not stingrs/Q90) and yes, I'd marry him if I could.

He also runs a Japanese language study program that uses anime' to teach the language. He doesn't make it to Dignan's too often because he's usually teaching his class.

MyBroInLaw: Just found out that he could access this site without joining it. So I will say he is very cool. And nice. And I can't wait to see him at Thanksgiving. Yay family.

R˙chean: He's a rockstar of Heroscape. One of the founding members of the famous DFW Heroscape scene. Along with NinthDoc, GrungeBob, Wisinger, LilWis, Velenne, Markwars, UPC, and Rodriquez, he started it all for us here in Dallas.

A few observations:

He has a sheet of graph paper covered in about (I'm doing the math in my head...hang on...) 25-30 armies. All but about 5 of those armies fit in this bad ass black fold out carrying case. And I said, "That's a bad ass carrying case." R˙chean said, "It's queer." I said, " No, it's really cool. What is that a tackle box?" R˙chean said, "It's a make up box." I said, "Yeah, that is queer."

He's really funny.

He knows a lot about beer. And poker.

He told us about spiderpoison (another rockstar of Heroscape):

"What's he like?"
"He's very methodical. He definitely knows what he's doing."
I bet he just moves the figures around really fast."
"He doesn't take a long time. He's got a little Rainman in him. He's very good. Doesn't talk a lot"
"No witty reh pwar tay? (sorry-completely unable to spell that correctly)"
"No...I'd do my best to mess with him and he'd just quietly smile and..."
"...Kick your ass?"
"Kick my ass?!?! No, I kicked his ass! I told him I'd never play him again because right now I can say I'm undefeated against spiderpoison!"


MyBroInLaw and I were only a little late. When we got there Podwest was ripping through Kurisenshi's 3 dragon army.

185 Zelrig
330 Minions of Utgar
20 Marcu

Kurisenshi (**** that's effing hard to spell!):
185 Zelrig
185 Nilfheim
150 Mimring
20 Marcu

On UPC's Stroll Through the Park:

Stroll Through The Park_SV1 uses 1 Swarm Set, 1 Castle Set, and 1 Jungle Set.

Podwest just rolled over him. Kurisenshi bitched about how Nilfheim couldn't fit on the healing glyph (he couldn't), but really Nilfheim can't fit anywhere, so waaaah.

Kurisenshi cries a lot about how Nilf cannot fit anywhere on any map. It's kind of cute, in a girl crying sort of way.

CheddarLimbo sat down to play on Dignan's map, Dolin's Switchback:
Map: Dolin's Switchback
Date Uploaded: 9/07/08
Requirements: 1 RotV, 1 TT, 1 RttFF

This game would end up taking almost 2 hours!

CheddarLimbo had:

80 Thorgrimm
80 Finn
50 Marro Warriors
210 Knights x 3
20 Marcu
100 Krav

MyBroInLaw had:

210 Charros
50 Akmar
100 Warriors of Ashra x 2
20 Kwyntela Gwyn
160 Sonlen

MyBroInLaw finally won. Pretty much because Charos got lucky when he disengaged a ton of knights and landed on the healing glyph.

After winning MyBroInLaw remarked,"Well I won, but these elves suck, and I'm not playing them again."

At which point I think CheddarLimbo thought 3 things:

1. WTF! Isn't coward's reward good for anything!


2. Why couldn't I have been playing someone cool like R˙chean for 2


3. Eff you, MyBroInLaw!

And then he got to play a game against Podwest to finish out his evening. Poor CheddarLimbo...

As I was getting ready to start my first game, Dicemaster walked in with the bad ass dice tower he built for me. It looked awesome. hopefully Dignan will post some pics of it he took.

Dicemaster, unlike his dice tower, looked really bad. He sounded really bad. He said he just came to drop off the tower and had to go. I thought he just had a bad cold, but I found out later he had thrown out his back, had vertabrae fused, was on crazy pain medication, and still somehow made it all the way to Dignan's to give me the tower.

I felt pretty bad he felt he had to come all that way to give me the tower. I could have waited.

But I'm glad I didn't have to--this thing rocks!

My first game was against Podwest. Podwest was pretty pissed I had frenzied 5 times in a row against him last week.

"You know there was only a point oh three percent chance of you doing that? I calculated it. It's not going to happen again."


Actually I would be fine losing with the vipers because then I'd stop entertaining the idea of bringing them to NHSD.

We played on Baldru Valley and Podwest had:

185 Zelrig
330 Minions x 3
10 Isamu

I had:

120 Vennoc Warlord aka Mittens
240 Venoc Vipers x 6
180 Major Q-9

I know, I know. I always say what a douche you are if you bring Q-9, but I feel Karmically balanced using all those 0 defense vipers.

Also Q-9 keeps my opponent honest.

Anyway, Podwest was right about me not frenzying 5 times in a row.

Too bad his Zelrig, taking aim at my start zone overflowing with 18 Venocs, whiffed.



I think I lost maybe 7 Venocs by the end of the battle.

Podwest, who by the way, had in that shark like way of his, managed to hurry the game along enough so that I forgot to frenzy once or twice before he had begun moving his troops, was pissed. Again. I'm smiling as I type this...

It was around now that R˙chean asked me if I was seriously considering bringing vipers. And I wasn't. But I keep winning. And it's a fun army to play--it's amazing how much fun Q-9 is when he's on your side...

R˙chean said 2 things:

1. I should consider it, and only if, I could win 5 straight games with it. Had I won 5 straight? (Well, uh, not yet...)

2. Maybe I could make the frenzy army work. After all, he went on, there had been a woman somewhere that had won a tournament with Vipers a looong time ago when they had first appeared. And if a woman could manage to do it, maybe I could to...

R˙chean is very inspiring...

R˙chean had just gotten creamed by Dignan.

R˙chean had:
240 Badru x 3
100 Krav
120 Nakita
80 Rats x 2

Dignan had:
180 Taelord
160 Gladiatrons x 2
180 Blastatons x 3

I thought Taelord was a pretty interesting/inspired pick fro the army. It seems as the points for the tournaments go up, Taelord becomes more and more usable.

So R˙chean lost and then lost again so quick with a Badru Wolves/Microcorp army that I didn't even know they had played another game!

Dignan had, by now, beaten R˙chean every single time they had ever played--twice tonight and twice at the Richardson Open last spring.

Admittedly R˙chean had also every time played some armies that, while not exactly goofy, didn't seem to be the most competitive armies scribbled out on his piece of graph paper.

So when I saw him bring out the next army I thought to myself, "Finally. Finally Dignan will get his ass kicked for once!"

But that game has to wait because I was now playing my second battle against kurisenshi, again on Badru Valley.

Kurisenshi had an army that was very good against range. After hearing that my army was basically all the vipers I could fit in 2 hands, he decided to bring it anyway. He had:

100 Krav
120 Agent Skahen
10 Otonashi
10 Isamu
100 Gurei Oni
100 Elite Onyx Vipers
80 Raelin
20 Marcu

I frenzied one this whole game and still won. Kuri's EOV actually frenzied 2-3 times (flying across the map and almost killing my Warlord in 1 turn!).

Playing against Kurisenshi is quite a contrast to playing against Podwest.

I heard things like:
"Don't forget you have height for the extra defense."
"Have you rolled for frenzy yet?
"Nice move."

Instead of:
"Too bad, I've already moved my guys, Maybe you'll remember next time... Ass."

I don't really know what I'm doing with Q-9 yet, but t doesn't seem to matter. Maybe I can talk Dignan or R˙chean into a game so I can get my ass kicked and come up with a better army fo NHSD.

But right now I am liking the Vipers...

So R˙chean, having had enough of losing, finally brings out an army that has a bit more oomph:

150 Major Q-10
100 Krav
120 Nakitas
120 Rats x 3
50 Marro Warriors

Dignan brought on of his NHSD possible stinger armies:

160 Hive
80 Raelin
300 Stingers x 5

Stingers x 5? Good Lord in heaven, what a ******...

Well, it was closer, but R˙chean still lost.

That +2 defense hive surrounded by 5 defense stingers is a tough nut to crack, especially when the little effers keep popping out of the hive once or twice a round.

I think R˙chean's coming back next Tuesday.

And I think it's to beat Dignan.

R˙chean keeps talking how it's only preseason, but I think he's tired of losing to Dignan.

I know I am.

Dignan, you unbeatable ***!

Unfortunately for the That's What She Said and Ways Dignan's a Bastard section of my looong battle reports, Dignan was much nicer this evening.

Maybe he was trying to impress the visiting rock star.

Though I don't miss crotch rubbed beer, the lack of That's What She Said is missed.

CheddarLimbo had a pretty good one, though.


Me pointing at a Warrior of Ashra that had somehow survived an hour of the same knight smacking her by a glyph, "That's girl just won't go down!"

CheddarLimbo, "That's what she said!"

Rock on, CheddarLimbo, rock on.

I apologize if the second half of this post wasn't as insulting and insensitive as the others. I was, unfortunately, sober when I typed it...
Total Comments 1


This may be a old blog but this was funny!
Posted May 15th, 2011 at 03:47 PM by

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