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Posted May 4th, 2013 at 03:48 PM by Swamper
I think I'm beginning to grow up. It's a sneaky thing- it has to be, because if I knew it was happening, I would never comply. But lately I've found myself... miscontent? Malcontent? Unhappy? None of those are quite right. I think restless may be a better fit. The things that once held my interest and made me happy don't quite feel the same. I'm starting to find myself thinking about other things, wanting something new and exciting to do. Apparently it's a part of growing up.

A big part of this restlessness is the newfound desire to share my life with someone. I've always been content with my own company. And the company of others, too. Either or, I was pretty happy. But it seems more and more I'm looking for a person to really know, something that goes beyond a superficial, skin deep relationship. I guess that's part of growing up, too. I've had a "best friend" since elementary school, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I don't really know much about my friend. Maybe we are friends of circumstance? I think part of the problem is that I'm a very private person. I don't really talk about what I'm thinking or feeling. Not even my parents. I never even told them which college I was going to until it came time to pay fees.

High school is almost over. It can't come soon enough. The only part I don't like about this is all of the get togethers and class gatherings we have. To be honest, I don't really like most of these people. Most of them weren't very nice to me. Most of them are jerks. I'd rather not have to be around them. But I do, so I go and try to make the best of it. It's doubly hard since I have the hearing problem and can't understand what's going on half of the time. Very isolating. Maybe that's another reason why I'm more of a private person.

I set out to write this blog and 10 this morning, got pulled away and didn't get back to it until about 3:30. I forgot why I started to write this, honestly. So I'll just end it here and put y'all out of your misery.
Total Comments 4

Comments

Old
Tornado's Avatar
Hang in there Swamper. I know high school has most likely felt like an eternity but you will find the time will start to fly past you.
I wish you the best at college. Perhaps a fresh start in a new environment will open some social opportunities.
Do what makes you happy and keep searching for more happiness.

"Happiness is not on the road, it is the road."
Bob Dylan's grandmother.
Posted May 5th, 2013 at 09:07 AM by Tornado Tornado is offline
Old
Sylvano the Wasabus's Avatar
I have been out of high school for more than thirty years. It seems like a big thing at the time and honestly some people peak in high school but you are not one of them. You’re just getting started.

For me, looking back, high school is just a blip. A no n-event. It required little of me and I got little out of it. A real life takes time to build, it isn’t’ something that just happens. You are on the right road. You know who you are, who you don’t like and you’re looking. Being aware is wonderful but like everything it has good and bad. But the good you experience will be far greater than the unaware are capable of.

You’re stuck with the hearing impairment- like me- so make the best of it. Good people won’t care about it and rotten ones won’t deal with it, making it easier for you to sort them sooner. It helps to believe there is a reason for everything, and there is a person who there for everyone- it turned out to be true for me.

Happy Monday Swamper.
Posted May 6th, 2013 at 01:05 PM by Sylvano the Wasabus Sylvano the Wasabus is offline
Old
MegaSilver's Avatar
Bravo StW. So true.
Posted May 6th, 2013 at 08:28 PM by MegaSilver MegaSilver is offline
Old
Tornado's Avatar
Well said, WtS.
Posted May 7th, 2013 at 08:58 AM by Tornado Tornado is offline
 
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