Worriers of Ashra

Scape has all the things I love- miniatures, terrain, customability. Sometimes I find myself thinking about the characters of the figures. Scape has sharply defined them in most cases, which is nice. But I like to expand on things....

I know if you get scooped to Valhalla you kind of live forever. If you die in battle you kind of come back again, or something like that. Or maybe i think of it that way because we use the figures over and over again.

But what if they got old? What if Valhalla didn’t keep them young, or make them die? I was going to say “I must be bored because I’m thinking of Scape characters getting old” but I’m really not bored and this is making me smile. And what could be more important than that?

The warriors of Ashra are a cool unit. It’s pretty hard to hurt them in melee. You can’t even insult them in melee. But what if they got old? I can imagine them sitting in rocking chairs, but they’re not fondly remembering past battles. They’re worrying. Their weapons have gotten heavy. They don’t move so well anymore. And let’s face it, they’re elves- they’re probably worrying about their looks. Maybe that makes them even more dangerous?

I imagine an old age Dund, laying on the floor of a kennel at the animal shelter. He’s gotten arthritic and gone blind with old age. He lives entirely through his ears and nose now. Juicy life. He’s slowly losing his appetite. How much longer before they put him to sleep?

Drake Alexander has always been one of my favourite characters. There are all kinds of great things about him: Thorian speed, grapple arm, and that amazing sword. In old age I imagine him as a grandpa, at Thanksgiving, with a big family surrounding him. And then he stands up and pulls out that big sword to cut the turkey. It’s all warm and glowy and happy and please pass the mashed potatoes- but don’t ask Grandpa about the Marr.

And what happened to Agent Carr? I’d like to think he ended up in some responsible job in intelligence because of his brains and experience. But I doubt that’s what happened. He may have sat at a desk as an older man for a week, and then gathered his gear, smiled and just disappeared....

I’m also a fan of Arkmer. If you’ve read many of my blogs you know that I don’t like elves one bit. I think they’re selfish and untrustworthy. Perhaps the exception is Arkmer. He’s got a great cape too. When he gets old he probably sits and stares at that cape, which is hanging by the door. He doesn’t wear it anymore. And no one visits him. There are no other elves around him. He’s lonely and feels forgotten. Maybe he’d get more visitors if he could relax a little- maybe engagement strike 19?

Poor old Brunak likely got put out to pasture with a bunch of old cows and horses. He became arthritic and was always cold. But he kept attacking the other animals and the options were to isolate him or put him down. The vet came one rainy afternoon.....

All of the Deathwalkers ended up in some junk yard. Rusted, broken, sometimes still functioning but unable to grasp where they are or update their programming. Surrounded by Reavers... oh wait, this is a junkyard and those are real rats....

I’m sure the Deathstalkers did not fare any better. Even if they were upgraded with new parts it’s only a matter of time before they’re outlawed in every state and province. Then they’d end up as an illegal item, favoured by dog fighters, until the part supply dries up. Why didn’t they ever have robotic cougars?

I visited Eldgrim’s grave. He never made it to old age. Heart attack. Over-extended one too many times.

And what of the Kyrie? Did their feathers fall out as they aged? Their rippling muscles wither or turn to fat? I imagine the Einear Imperium got old and skinny, while the Sentinels of Jandar grew old and fat. The Imperium would have lost their feathers with age, while the Sentiels would have just gotten too overweight to fly anymore. It’s kind of a cat theme- the Imperium are skinny street cats and the Sentinels are fat white house cats.

This has gotten depressing, so I’m going to make up some happier ones.

Otonashi was always one of my favourite figures. I guess I kind of had a crush on her. Pony tails get me every time. I imagine when she grew old she opened a school, training others in the ways of the sword and the ninja. She’s a grey hair old woman, shrunken tiny, surrounded and worshiped but her students. And feared by them too.

The Sahuagin Raider has always been a favourite of mine too. I imagine he retired to the water’s edge and bred. He lives in the water now, surrounded by an army of Sahuagin children, grand children and great grand children. Maybe one day they will return to land as an army.

Is it racist to think that the Shaolin Monks retired and opened a really great Chinese restaurant?

In the Valhalla senior’s home in the activity room Runa waits for the group of old creatures to arrive. She too is old, but her spirit is strong so she has taken on the job of arts and crafts leader. Her favourite weapon is the hot glue gun. She’s charming and chatty – just don’t cross her.

The Mohican River Tribe and Brave Arrow simply grew tired of the fighting and destruction and disappeared. One moment they were standing at the edge of the forest, and the next moment they were gone. I like to imagine them teaching traditional ways to the young in a secret village hidden in some great forest.

I could go on and on. But there’s something I’m supposed to do this afternoon.... I just can’t remember what it was.....