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The ramblings of a designer turned writer turned computer geek turned writer turned designer with way too much time on his hands.
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FFC #72 - An update, and confrontations

Posted May 22nd, 2021 at 02:29 PM by The Grim Reaper's Friend
TGRF's Fan Fiction Chronicles - Entry #72

It's been a bit since my last update, and I haven't really been around much, so I wanted to let my readers know what's going on.

Not much has changed from my last FFC update. I still have some stories floating around, nothing is really taking off, and that's about it. This goes for my novels as well, to a lesser extent.

Over the last year, it's been becoming increasingly clear why this is happening. For the first five years of my writing, it was like I was unstoppable. My stories got better, I never had problems writing them like I do now, things just worked. My writing hasn't really felt that way since I wrote Red. I've detailed before that that's where everything seems to have fallen apart.

Over the last year or so, I've had to shift my thinking quite a bit. I've had to confront the fact that I need to get out and get a job and general experience like a normal person - something I always knew, but had basically talked myself out of believing. Now I'm faced with that fact, and find myself once again largely incapable of writing. I can't seem to focus on both. I'm either in the 'I want to write' mindset, or I'm in the 'I need to get a job' mindset. They don't work together. Which is disappointing, but not entirely unexpected.

So what does this mean for writing? I don't know. I've been fighting this for years, but I'll eventually have to get out there and get a job (or equivalent), and all indications are that when that happens, all writing will die.

I don't know if that's the case. That's just the only logical conclusion I see at the moment. I know people have said they write better when they're supposed to be doing other things - maybe that will happen to me. But at this point one thing is obvious: I can no longer just sit at my computer and write like I used to. It just doesn't work anymore. I have to get out there, and what happens happens. If I miraculously regain the ability to write, great. If I find it's gone forever... well that'll be a big part of who I am, dead. But I wrote while I could, and feel pleased with what I've accomplished.

If this is it, if these ten or so years are all I had to write - well, I didn't reach the level of success I wanted to, but I certainly did far more than I thought I could at the beginning.

In the end, that's what writing - and particularly writing fantasy - is all about: taking people away from reality, if even for a few minutes, to a world where what they want really can happen.

It's hard to leave that world. I didn't want to - I still don't. The hard truth of reality is that it is, in fact, reality. You've got to face it sooner or later. But the thing with fantasy - with imagination and dreams - is that they never leave either.

I'll write again, some day. Of that, I'm sure.

Until then, keep reading, keep writing, and I'll see you on the other side.

~TGRF.

P.S. My writing might be dead in the water, but I'll still be here on HSers, checking in every few days. I'm currently reading Mistobrn, and intend to do a review/critique of it here when I'm finished. So that's probably what you'll see next.
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TheAverageFan's Avatar
As I have mentioned previously, I had to get job in order to write, as free time without limitations for me will inevitably involve anything other than work (which writing is for me). There's too many other, easier ways to kill time out there.

The real problem for me right now is I'm not writing the right things. I've been working on two different novels at the same time, but neither are liable to be read by anyone but myself because they're both sequels to things nobody but myself would know about. The novel I should be working on remains untouched.

Ultimately though, if you are anything like me, writing will come and go, but ideas never stop. And that'll inevitably bring you back sooner or later. And that is an encouraging thought.

~TAF
Posted May 23rd, 2021 at 02:24 PM by TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
 
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