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Regrets of the Dying

Posted February 9th, 2012 at 09:07 AM by Sylvano the Wasabus
I didnít write this. But I thought it was important, and wanted to share it.

A nurse who works in a place where people go to die compiled a list, after escorting hundreds of people to deathís gate. These are the top regrets of the dying:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."
Total Comments 8


kolakoski's Avatar

Lessons for the Living

Well met!

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I feel this way now, and I'm not even dying (in the hospice sense anyways)! Looking back, I have major regrets, concerning mostly things I didn't do. Often, however, it is not lack of courage, but a narrow view of what is possible for myself, that has, and still does, hold me back. The "choices" we regret were made in ignorance of what we were choosing between or among, and who we were or would/could become. Especially as we have so many more than our ancestors did (father a farmer, son a farmer). I can't to this day decide whether to focus on classical, theater, jazz, blues, etc., so I am unfocussed . As many different people as I meet have opinions, often conflicting, as to the direction my art should take. Kneejerk rebellion against other people's opinions (which I have done my whole life) is [[almost][just]as bad][even worse than] conformity.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

Not me! I never work hard enough, because I don't believe enough in myself, no matter how often I'm confronted with evidence to the contrary.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

But if you're a miserable SoB, and you "spew," as Gibbs (NCIS) would say, you'll drive everyone away (been there, done that). Positive feelings, when I have had them, yes, me Peter Parker, you Mary Jane.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Not so much an issue with me, as I didn't have any! Of course, nowadays, with Facebook, it's a lot easier, maybe too easy. I have a friend who isn't so much of a friend anymore, because she's always on Facebook, even when she's with us!

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is the truest of them all, and, if addressed, trumps the rest. Half full or half empty your cup will always be. Attitude is all. Grateful we all should be for the miracle that is life. Especially those of us with the leisure and wherewithal to play Heroscape, the game of our dreams when we were growing up.
Posted February 9th, 2012 at 02:08 PM by kolakoski kolakoski is offline
Updated February 9th, 2012 at 02:58 PM by kolakoski
'Scaper94's Avatar
I like this. A thousand thanks for sharing.
Posted February 9th, 2012 at 04:42 PM by 'Scaper94 'Scaper94 is offline
flameslayer93's Avatar
Good read Sylvano.

Although I'm far from death (I hope!), this is still an interesting read...
Posted February 9th, 2012 at 05:54 PM by flameslayer93 flameslayer93 is offline
Updated February 9th, 2012 at 05:55 PM by flameslayer93 (Though boys and yound men are taught not to express their feelings, its interesting to see it as a regret...)
chas's Avatar
Recent fortune cookie from Chinese takeout:

"Instead of regretting what abilities you do not have, make the most of those you do."
Posted February 11th, 2012 at 09:37 AM by chas chas is offline
Hive Lord 1233's Avatar
Wow. This blog really has a bit of everything, battle reports (of real life and heroscape battles), comedy, and in this case, something deeper. Thank you Sylvano!
Posted February 13th, 2012 at 06:27 PM by Hive Lord 1233 Hive Lord 1233 is offline
flameslayer93's Avatar
Now you know why I check every day to see if Sylvano has posted something new in his blog, Hivelord.
Posted February 14th, 2012 at 06:40 PM by flameslayer93 flameslayer93 is offline
Tornado's Avatar
Great perspective, thanks for posting this.
Posted May 7th, 2012 at 07:34 PM by Tornado Tornado is online now
flameslayer93's Avatar

Easily worth reading this blog if you haven’t already.
Posted May 15th, 2019 at 02:49 PM by flameslayer93 flameslayer93 is offline
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