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Having the Courage to Go Up to Someone You Like!

Posted June 6th, 2008 at 12:58 PM by funrun
I know it might be hard to believe, but I've never approached I guy I liked out of the blue! I'm talking about the typical TV and movie scenes where a guy goes up to a girl and asks her to dance, or if he can join her for lunch, etc. These scenes usually end in rejection or awkward moments. I think it's a fear in everyone to approach someone of the opposite sex for any reason.

But funrun, you seem like such a confident, pretty girl! What do you have to be worried about?

Well, back when I was in school and hadn't had a boyfriend yet, I was way too shy to approach any guy, or any person, for any reason that wasn't directly warranted. I was lucky enough that most of my boyfriends developed out of mutual friendships, so in my more adult life, there never was a situation where either person needed to go out of their way to approach the other out of the blue.

Now I'm single and things are different. I recently found myself in exactly the situation you often see in movies and TV. . .

I was standing in line at my work cafeteria waiting for my steak to cook, and a cute guy stands in line behind me and orders a steak too. This was an easy enough excuse to strike up a conversation. There was nothing out of the way about innocently talking to the person next to you in line. But then when my steak was done I got in line to pay and did not see him again.

I sat in my usual spot, on the second tier level of a three-tier dining area. I sit so I can watch the big screen TV on the first level, which always has FOX news on.

As I ate, I noticed a guy sitting in front of the TV on the level below. He was alone, eating steak, but with his back mostly turned so I couldn't be sure it was the same guy. I stared for a while wondering what I should do.

He was sitting so close to the door that if I walked by and it wasn't him, there was no way I could gracefully keep walking to another table. Finally, I determined it had to be him, but then he started text messaging for several minutes.

I was almost half done with my lunch and was getting nervous about the prospect of walking down there. I certainly wouldn't want to annoy him, or interrupt whatever important messages he was getting on his blackberry. Ah, excuses excuses.

He stopped texting, so I stood up and walked down. Halfway down, I couldn't believe I was doing this. This is a work cafeteria, not the high school cafeteria!

I was relieved to see it was in fact the same guy. I had a whole line thought out in my head to explain how I had been sitting above and saw him sitting below alone, but I didn't even get it all out before he was pulling out a chair for me! He completely removed any chance of awkwardness.

We had a very nice conversation, and I was glad I took a chance to go out of my way to sit with a cute stranger.

Since nerdy gamers types have the stereotype of rejection and not having the nerves to go up to a girl, I hope my story is inspiring to you!
Posted in Randomness
Comments 10
Total Comments 10


Wind Lane's Avatar
I don't know how inspiring it can be to hear about a "confident, pretty girl" (which was always my impression of your chin too!) to talk with someone who was also cute.

But, it sounds like you had a nice lunch meet and sounds like the guy was pretty nice as well. (Pulls out the chair for a lady? Good manners.)

Hope you got his number.
Posted June 8th, 2008 at 02:35 AM by Wind Lane Wind Lane is offline
Jim's Avatar
So Funrun, would you have lunch with me at GenCon?
Posted June 9th, 2008 at 10:29 AM by Jim Jim is offline
funrun's Avatar
Wind, I guess my point got lost in all my words. I'm actually not very confident when it comes to going up to a complete stranger guy who I think is cute, but I finally tried it and it worked!

Jim, if I were going to Gencon, I would have lunch with you.
Posted June 9th, 2008 at 03:13 PM by funrun funrun is offline
Wind Lane's Avatar
What I meant was, it sure doesn't seem like you have anything to be shy about. If I were you, besides needing clothes my size, I'd be walking up to anyone I felt like.
Posted June 9th, 2008 at 07:24 PM by Wind Lane Wind Lane is offline
I have a tip for striking up conversations with strangers, which I would like to share. The brilliant part is that it usually makes the other one talk to you first. It works well with women and I guess it woould work pretty well with men too.

I simply walk up near the person with a plate with two slices of cake. When the other one notices the cake, they can't stop wonder "Where does this cake come from?". You then make eye contact and she will then most certainly ask you where you found the cake.

I then tell her that I brought it as a conversational piece and basically tells this story while offering her a piece of cake.

By then you will have a conversation going and have indirectly told her that you wanted to talk to her.

Good luck.
Posted June 23rd, 2008 at 10:47 AM by Razsk Razsk is offline
Updated June 23rd, 2008 at 10:49 AM by Razsk (Grammar)
Ok...where the hell did you get the cake from?

Here is one of my favorite stories on how to start a conversation with someone you find attractive. After I got divorced from my first wife 2 of the guys I worked with convinced me to go out with them and their friends to this club in NYC. So here I am this average Joe hanging out with a bunch of guidos all thinking they are hot s**t and I am standing at the bar watching them make fools of themselves trying to get girls to dance with them, talk to them, etc. After laughing at them they of course in their most macho way "What are you laughing about...you couldn't do any better." So I smelled a challenge and told them to put up or shut up. $20 a piece and they could pick the girl. They of course picked out a woman who was absolutely drop dead gorgeous with an amazing figure.
So I walked across the room right up to her and said. "You don't want to dance with me right?" and before she could answer I started to walk away only to hear "Excuse me? Why did you say that?" To which I replied.."Cause it's true isn't it?"...she smiled and said "Not at all" and lead me out to the dance floor. It was a great night :wink: and I made $200.
Posted June 23rd, 2008 at 10:04 PM by Onacara Onacara is offline
rym's Avatar
It's not always easy for the guy either. In my high school days, I never dated anyone because, well, I just wasn't interested, and I was extremely nervous around the girls I considered attractive. As it turned out, most of my relationships over the intervening years always developed from a work / friend relationship first. Except one.

I fell head over heels for the receptionist at my job, but I never could work up the courage to ask her out. I would go up to the reception area everyday after work and think up some lame reason to call my buddy on the courtesy phone near her desk. Just to see her.

One day I said, "**** it. Let's just ask her out. She'll say no, and we'll go get another job tomorrow." I'll be damned if she didn't say yes and gave me her phone number right there.

We dated for over a year or so - that was 10 years ago - and I still think about her occasionally.
Posted July 29th, 2008 at 05:18 PM by rym rym is offline
scottishlad5's Avatar
Awesome funrun! I agree its hard to do I am a boy and I have had the same problems even though I am younger I've had the same problems, but usually girls tend to be more talkative.
Onacara! did that happen to you? Is then thats hilarious, if not its still funny!
Posted July 29th, 2008 at 07:48 PM by scottishlad5 scottishlad5 is offline
Yes it is a true story...I'll tell you the rest of it when you are older :wink:
Posted July 29th, 2008 at 11:36 PM by Onacara Onacara is offline
funrun's Avatar
Well I did see the guy from this story three times since this initial lunch. The second time I sat with him for lunch again and the other times he went out of his way to say hi to me in the hallway, but never asked me for my email or phone number. I haven't really seen him in about 4 weeks, and I now have a boyfriend I met somewhere else entirely.
Posted July 30th, 2008 at 11:20 AM by funrun funrun is offline

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