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You want me to pay HOW MUCH?!?!? to meet Mr. Right?!

Posted May 5th, 2008 at 09:14 PM by funrun
Updated May 5th, 2008 at 09:30 PM by funrun
Have you ever gone in to a car dealer to get a serious quote on that sexy sports car you've been dreaming of? The situation may have gone something like this: The salesman gives you his full attention and treats you really nice for upwards of 30 minutes straight. You fill out a bunch of forms with your personal info, then the salesman preps you for The Number. You know it's going to cost, but The Number is SO ridiculously high that you actually laugh out loud at him! As you gather your things to head for the door, he tries to remind you of all the looks you're going to get in that hot sports car and how it's going to be worth the price. His efforts are futile; you keep walking for the door, feeling a renewed sense of confidence that you will find an equally nice car at the dealer down the street, for MUCH less money.

Well that is how I feel right now, only it happened in a much different context. . . at a matchmaker service! I've tried some online dating sites in the past, but never an in-person matchmaker service, so—like getting a quote on a dream car—I figured it couldn't hurt to listen to their sales pitch and see how much it'd cost.

Thirty minutes after leaving, I'm still laughing! I've gotten some great laughs out of looking at some of the ridiculous photos that guys post in their dating profiles, or weird things they write in their profiles, but the cost of this matchmaker service is the longest-lasting laugh I've gotten out of all dating service experiences.

The situation went something like this. . .
You fill out a quick form on their website with your basic name, age, income info. I did this some time last week. I got a call today, and they said they interview everyone in person, get to know you, do a background check, and so on before they even let you sign up. It just so happened they had an interview opening right after I got off work, so I took it.

The interview started with an 8 minute promo video with an overview of their services: social events, video interviews, professional photos of you, personal service, hundreds of single professional people looking for a real relationship, remind you that you're tired of looking in bars, they've been in business 32 years, yadda yadda. That's great, let's get on with the sales pitch.

The Director of this Dallas branch of this national franchise company comes back to interview me. It's an informal conversation about what I'm looking for and the types of people they have to offer, and all along she's writing notes about me on a plain ole legal pad in every different direction, as if the lines on the paper didn't even exist. I'm wondering why she's not filling out some sort of more formal-looking form, but hey, maybe taking real notes is part of the "personal service".

She tells me they only accept 52% of applicants, and most of the guys in her lists are looking for X Y Z, which happen to be a lot of things that I am (that I hadn't told her yet). She also says they have a high demand and shortage of successful career women in my age range. In my head I'm thinking, uh huh. . . rich guys in their 30's looking for a young, hot woman. But she recommends an age limit of 32 for me and says she has about 750 men in the 24-32 age bracket, and most make around $150K. Hmmm okay, sounding good so far, but I was right about the rich part.

Then she asks me, "If I had 750 men in this room, probably half of them meet your qualifications. . . on a weekly basis, how much would you be willing to pay to walk into this room?"

In my head I'm thinking, well eHarmony is about $60 a month, but I wouldn't want to pay that for more than one month, so um, maybe $10 a week.

Her jaw dropped, and she gave some sales pitch about why I should want to pay more. She still hadn't given me her number.

"Well how much is it?"

She quips, "The total for all the months is $7,200."

I was utterly appalled by the number, but also started realizing with the ridiculous price there must be a ridiculous number of months of commitment involved. . .

$200 for 36 months.

36 months?!?! That's like a car lease! I'm not THAT committed to finding a guy through one dating service. Give me a one month trial period and I'll see how it goes, but there's no way I'm committing to a matchmaker service at ANY price for 36 months! Not even for free!

Even if I was single and had a $150K salary, I'd have to be single and constantly searching for maybe a decade before I'd spend thousands of dollars on that matchmaker service over something else I could spend that money on, like a trip to Fiji, ALONE!

I was promptly walked out of a side door, and I think she said something sarcastic like "good luck!" as it closed behind her.

I'm still laughing at her!
Posted in Randomness
Comments 13
Total Comments 13


Revdyer's Avatar
You could buy a really great billboard for a lot less than that fee. You'd get great responses, even with a picture with the top of your head not shown!
Posted May 6th, 2008 at 12:14 PM by Revdyer Revdyer is offline
Hahnarama's Avatar
Hey you told me back @ GC 2006 that I was your Mr Right! Or was that Mr Right Now??? Maybe I was and imaged the whole thing.
Posted May 6th, 2008 at 02:07 PM by Hahnarama Hahnarama is offline
Revdyer's Avatar
You imagined the whole thing; whether you also "imaged" it, I don't know. (But I'd be interested in the images, if you did.) <shooting himself in the...uh...foot.)
Posted May 6th, 2008 at 02:10 PM by Revdyer Revdyer is offline
funrun's Avatar
If Hahn "imaged" it at Gencon, I'm sure jcb has posted the pics online somewhere.

Posted May 6th, 2008 at 05:57 PM by funrun funrun is offline
Hahnarama's Avatar
Hey give a guy a break. I'm right handed but I was typing left handed so I could relive the memory.

Posted May 6th, 2008 at 07:11 PM by Hahnarama Hahnarama is offline
Heroscape Elffy's Avatar
Please, Hahn, don't post pics. $7200, though. Geez, I wouldn't pay that much for...well, ANYTHING! except maybe, oh, I don't know, a CAR?!?
Posted May 6th, 2008 at 09:39 PM by Heroscape Elffy Heroscape Elffy is offline
Retlaw's Avatar
The real "funny" part is that they must be getting people to pay that price (otherwise they wouldn't still be in business). P.T. Barnum was right about their being one born every minute.
Posted May 7th, 2008 at 11:41 AM by Retlaw Retlaw is offline
Doc_Savage's Avatar
Imagine how much they are charging the guys...
Posted May 7th, 2008 at 11:41 PM by Doc_Savage Doc_Savage is offline
Revdyer's Avatar
I was thinking...you could pick out any guy you wanted and get him a divorce for less than $7200 in Arkansas. <grin>
Posted May 7th, 2008 at 11:57 PM by Revdyer Revdyer is offline
Velenne's Avatar
Ya I'm sure if you gave any guy $7200 he'd take you out on a date.
Posted May 8th, 2008 at 09:17 AM by Velenne Velenne is offline
funrun's Avatar
Well between rev's info and Velenne's offer, I should be able to get any man I want! But no matter how you slice it, I'm not going to pay any man (more than a dinner and drinks) to date me.
Posted May 8th, 2008 at 02:30 PM by funrun funrun is offline
Menchy's Avatar
Wow. 7200 dollars. That's... slightly preposterous. Kudos to you for not giving in to that money bonfire. For 7200 dollars you could get a mail order husband. Hmmmmm.
Posted July 18th, 2008 at 08:37 PM by Menchy Menchy is offline
LongHeroscaper's Avatar
funrun, she gave you that amount because you are a hot, successful woman so you can afford the price. If I had walked into the room, she would have given me something like $500/36 months.
Posted September 29th, 2008 at 03:10 PM by LongHeroscaper LongHeroscaper is offline

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