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Every Tuesday night I go to Dignan's to play Heroscape. Here's what happens...
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Tuesday Nights at Dignan's (11/04/08)

Posted January 13th, 2009 at 12:48 AM by DrLivingston
--Old Tuesday--11/04/08----------

Scroll down to the red dashed line for the (very late) update.

(Before anything you need to know I'm a Polish/Scottish American and the
Polish word for *** is doopa).

So there's this really cool upstart thread that has PICTURES and PREDICT THE VICTOR VOTING that has really grabbed a lot of views and posts in the Battle Report world of Heroscapers lately.

I'd give you the link to A Train's thread, but he's Canadian, and I really don't want you to go there.

Also some folks have expressed upsettednesss with all the douches and ***'s I've been throwing around.

And you'd think I'd say **** you all. I'm doing this for me and you guys can all **** yourselves.

But you'd be wrong.

I started out doing this to make sure I didn't embarrass myself by drunk posting all over the place. (It did get a little embarrassing.)

But now I do this for the sole purpose of getting more rep than rym.

So there have been some changes.

So now there will be lots of pictures, no more ***'s (honestly I was just typing in a random number of *'s and letting your imagination fill in the rest), no more mention of douche, lots of pictures, and new & improved Predict the Victor!

Still lots of drinking references as no one has complained about them.

Look another picture!

But what about this new improved Predict the Victor you ask.

Here's how it works.

I will give you the armies that are about to face each other with some amazing analysis and you will post who YOU think will win.

It's very important that you post.

Then you need to come back to the first post of this thread and highlight the Super Secret Result Line!

And after highlighting the Super Secret Result Line, you will know the result.


No silly waiting for hours or days or even longer.

Instant superior instant gratification!

For example:

Army 1(My Army):

200 Cute Puppy

I picked cute puppy because his Stuffed Animal Special attack can really wail on opponents.

Army 2(Podwest's Army):

210 Really (Heightened Exclamation)ing Cute Kitten

Podwest picked his army after mine (isn't that just like his cheating doopa?), so you can see how I'm in trouble as
Really (Heightened Exclamation)ing Cute Kitten Ignore Puppy Cuteness 15 Special Ability could really cause me some problems.

Super Secret Result Line (
highlight the space below this line with your cursor):
The stinkin' kitten wins. I couldn't believe how many times Podwest rolled that God Bless America 15! What a lucky doopa!

Ta Dah!

Now you should rep me for my amazing contribution to Heroscapers!

Woo Hoo!

Kiss my doopa, rym!

Here we go...

Every Tuesday I go to Dignan's to play Heroscape. Here's what happens...

The Players:

Me/DrLivingston--I have come to the realization that I am not that good at this game.

"No, no!" you cry, "You beat Grungebob in a tournament, DeadEyeDan'd NinthDoc's Major Q-9 in another tournament, Hosed (let me type hosed again) Velenne in 2 separate tournaments, and left every tournament with a 4 and 1 record!"

True. All true. Until recently.

Recently I have gone 2 and 2 (Texas Team tournament--really that was all Rodriquez's "Counterstrike will save the day" fault) & gone 2 and 3 at the recent NHSD (losing to Tmac 2200, who, admittedly, had quite an advantage with his extreme youth...).

Yeah, recently, I have done really (man this is hard not using *'s!) gosh darn bad!

So don't expect too much from me tonight.

And it certainly isn't the alcohol that is impairing my performance.

Pretty sure.

Above:My downfall?

--This guy... He's the host, he claims he has a ceiling fan, and he can really really build fun and challenging maps. And that's all the positive this guy is going to see for a while. What a doopa.

Above: Is this really in Dignan's game room? Doesn't feel like it...

Podwest--Podwest is actually a cool guy. He used to cheat. He will still "rules" you to death. He's like a shark and you're like the seal that forget to add 1 defense for height. And he ate you and laughed and laughed about how you got eaten.

Above: Podwest and you...

So we sat down to one of Dignan's 3 player maps called:

Map: ...to grandmother's house we go
Date Uploaded: 10/29/08
Requires: 3 RotV, 3 RttFF

I had harassed Dignan about all the glyphs in the middle and so we tried it with just 1 Defense + 1 glyph occupying the middle spot.

I took an all Samurai Army that this excellent think tank came up with:


120 Kaemon Awa
130 Tagawa Samurai Archers x 2
60 Izumi Samurai

Really, this army is cool because it's all Einer Samurai. Kaemon Awa is, we can all agree, Awasome. But the Tagawa are not quite as hot. And Marcu and a squad of rats (deathreavers) would probably do better than the Izumi. Still, they all look cool together!

Podwest took:

150 Mass Line x2
80 Raelin
80 Concan the Flying Man

This army had 2 spider poison A+/A units. And Concan is no slouch in the beatstick department. But Podwest is the player. And really what can he do...?

Dignan had:

200 Snipers x 2
110 Sgt. Drake Alexander

Well, it's Dignan. The guy that kicked R˙chean's doopa last week. And 2 squads of snipers is intimidating. And Drake is a beast in an environment with few, if any, special attacks. But Dignan is a total bastard. So, booooo to him! (Is bastard okay to say?)

Who do you think will win? Quick post your pick now! Then come back to see if you were right! (Don't forget to rep me!)

Super Secret Result Line (highlight the space below this line with your cursor):

I totally won! HA! I am Supreme! Dignan and Podwest can kiss it!

Here's a picture of my start zone and my two opponents:

See how cleverly I placed my troops? See how happy my opponents look? How soon I will crush them!

Well things start off with Dignan moving Drake to the center Defense +1 glyph.

Well why not? Who could hurt Mr.Thorian Speed?

Who Indeed?

I grabbed 2 perimeter wound glyphs with the Izumi and Podwest grabbed the 3rd. Dignan sniped one of my Izumi, but at the end of the round, both Podwest and I sent our wound glyph wound to Dignan who placed them on Drake.

Podwest and I traded potshots, but mainly Podwest and Dignan wailed on each other.

I watched in happy disbelief as Dignan wiffed 8 straight sniper rolls. This was pretty significant as Dignan was shooting at Raelin enhanced defense 4 Mass Line.

Which should statistically get 1, maybe 2 defense.

Which against snipers mean they are either going to die if Dignan rolls a skull, or live if he wiffs.

And like I said, he wiffed a lot.


Soooooo great....

Finally I get Kaemon Awasome in position and...

Dead Drake!

110 points for moi!

And that was pretty much it.

Podwest made a valiant effort with a late game Concan the Flying Man charge, but the guy rolled so horribly that Kaemon actually counterstruck him for 3 wounds!

After (finally) taking out Kaemon, Concan found himself stuck between a wound glyph sitting Izumi and an adjacent counter striking Tagawa.

After flailing around like a spastic, Concan was counterstruck by my last Tagawa archer!

I won!

My drought is over!


Well I am tired and it's late and though I had promised to finish the whole post no matter what, it looks like I misled you about that...

But this way you can view the post (and rep) me again tomorrow!


Things to look forward to:

1. Dignan throws a hissy!
2. More improved Predict The Victor!
3. the REAL reason R˙chean didn't show up this Tuesday
4. Pictures like this one:

Hmm... The beer label says Arrogant Bastard Ale.

Who could that be...

No, not me!

Haven't you been paying attention to this thread?!?!

And finally...

5. What Dignan said that was so shocking that his wife gasped and I probably will have to hide it using Improved Predict the Victor technology.

Stay Tuned!

And 2 weeks later I'm back.

Last game was another 3 player on a new map that wasn't really that cool.

I mention this because usually Dignan's maps are very cool.

This one, enhh.

I took the same army--Kaemon Awa and a bunch of Samurai Archers.


150 Mimring
80 Deathreavers(rats) x 2
80 Badru Wolves

150 Cyprien
50 Marro Warriors
80 Deathreavers(rats) x 2
20 Marcu
10 Isamu

Okay, quick! Go post who you think won!

Super Secret Improved Predict the Victor Result Line (highlight the space below this line with your cursor):

Podwest gets lucky with his wolves and wins. What a complete ****. No one likes him...

Well Drew's effing 1 squad of wolves really outdid themselves and killed loads of my archers. Then while Kaemon Awa and Cyprein mixed it up, Drew firelined everyone. Here's a picture to prove it:

Cyprien runs from Kaemon and engages Mimring and Mimring actually wins that battle! Even with height the vampire goes down. I'm trying to think if anyone has ever won using Cyprien and I can't think of a time.

I know Dignan's major strategy in R˙chean's draft tourney was to take Cyrpien in the hopes that his opponent would draft Cyprien. This worked out and Dignan won the tourney killing Cyprien at least 4 times.

Here is the death of Cyprien.

Kaemon kills Mimring the very next turn. And I think I'm ahead on points. But I'm not. Podwest has killed too many archers and with his one remaining deathreaver is able to mathematically secure victory for himself. The smug ****er.

So there you go. Podwest wins. And I hate him.

But who doesn't?

So on the way out I show Dignan and his wife a picture from Halloween of my wife and kids on the digital camera I brought to take pictures.

My wife is smiling surrounded by my son number one (3 years old) in a dragon costume and my son number two (1 year old) in a potbellied 3 eyed blue monster costume.

Dignan says my wife looks 50 and my kids look they have birth defects.

His wife smack him in the back of the head.

Such a dick.

Soon (maybe tomorrow, but no promises) I will tell you all about Dignan's hissy, the battles from tonight (11/1, and why CheddarLimbo is a cool guy even though he has a sensitive man pony tail.

Also Dignan's wife deepens the mystery of how such a cool chick ever ended up with Dignan the Douche. (If only that could be his title...)
Total Comments 3


gmartin's Avatar
Posted January 27th, 2009 at 08:19 PM by gmartin gmartin is offline
Arrow Grut's Avatar
umm...From now on could you post only when your sober...
Edit-I know that this was a necro, but I mean seriously?
Posted December 6th, 2010 at 08:56 PM by Arrow Grut Arrow Grut is offline
rym's Avatar
Man, you guys are vicious.

The poor Dr's getting this bad rep for drinking alcohol and playing loud 'Scape?

I keep seeing people posting about wishing DrL was quieter or more sober. I do not think that he's had a drink in the last 2 (maybe even 3) tourney's we've been to.

He's just a guy that plays a game he loves and gets excited about it from time to time. We've all done that and need to just move on.

And why not just PM the poor guy instead of necro a blog (that I'm now contributing to ).

Anyway, that's just my two cents. Reminds me of Rodriquez and having a bad rep for bringing Q9 to tournaments all the time - except that he hasn't brought Q9 in almost 3 yrs!
Posted December 6th, 2010 at 10:12 PM by rym rym is offline

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