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Every Tuesday night I go to Dignan's to play Heroscape. Here's what happens...
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Tuesday Nights at Dignan's (9/16/08)

Posted October 29th, 2008 at 10:59 PM by DrLivingston
Every Tuesday night I go to Dignan's House to play Heroscape.

Here's what happens.

The Players:

Diganan: The host and complete *******. Really. He talks all kinds of ****, beats most everybody most nights, and makes the coolest maps ever. I hate him.

DrLivingston(me): I'm loud, drunk, devastatingly handsome, and really really witty.

PodWest: The first time I played Podwest I noticed he never put his order markers down until waaaaay after I had done mine. After about the 5th game like this I called him on it. He was completely unapologetic. "It's all about winning, baby!" That's probably all you need to know about him.

MyBroInLaw: I married his sister. We've been playing wargames since he was 12. He's a mechanical engineer, but still, somehow, cool.

Dicemaster: He's quiet, sober, humble, and very methodical. He also makes some real high quality, real real quiet dice towers.

Rym, Rodriquesz, and CheddarLimbo all drop by occasionally from Arlington.

Rym is a great guy--even though he always brings Cyprien.

Rod has more 'scape than anyone I know and wishes that there were no start zone restrictions at tournaments so he could bring 500 points of Marro Drones.

And CheddarLimbo is cool, considerate, and laughs at Dignan's "jokes" too much.

Tonight I played MyBroInLaw on the short Hexes In Texas NHSD map Hide&Seek by Gamebear.

I shellacked him.

I had the Braxas army I've been trying to get right at 540 points:

210 Braxas
150 Major Q10
100 Krav
80 Rats x 2

And MyBroInLaw had :

120 Grimnak
140 Heavy Gruts x 2
220 TorKulNa
60 Nagrubs x 2

I thought he was going to destroy me (as I had a bunch of range on a really short map and a pointsink Braxas that was worthless against his big monsters) but Dicemaster of Dicetowers.net showed up and let me try out a dice tower.

It was magic!

2 rounds of Krav from height at 3/4 skulls apiece and it was goodnight Grimnak and TorKulNa!

I almost bought the tower then and there. But after talking to Dicemaster, I am going to spring (with my birthday money--thank you in-laws) for the BATTLE DICE TOWER!

Witness its glory here:


Dicemaster said he'd stain it or free. He also said I should wait until after NHSD as I might get to win it as a prize. I laughed and said, "Not gonna happen 'cuz I can't kill Stingers."

Which brings me to my next opponent--Podwest on Dignan's lava/swamp "If you can't Stand the Heat" map.

Podwest had(Yes, he scoped out my army before choosing his...):

185 Zelrig
10 Red Ninja (wtf is his name?!?!)
20 Marcu
240 Stinger x 4

My second turn with the Krav I killed Zelrig in 2 shots! HA!

And then, I lost the game.

To those ******* Stingers.

Even getting the healer glyph with Braxas wasn't enough.

Braxas/Krav (but mainly Braxas) killed 8 stingers. But the 4 left had more than enough "juice" to kill Braxas and Q10.

I'm at a loss. I just can't beat those ding dang Stingers with Braxas. And I know they're going to be out there on NHSD. Maybe I'm metagaming too much, but if you're army can't ever win against Stingers, it seems like its time to choose a new army...

I would be remiss if I didn't Mention Podwest's amazing play with Marcu. That freakin' freak of nature vampire tied up Braxas and Q10 for a turn each and killed a Krav. He finally betrayed and I got to jump him into lava, but by then the damage had been done. What was most amazing is not that he tied up Braxas and Q10 (only a turn each), but how completely flatfooted I was every time Podwest used Marcu. It Bamboozeled my order markers for 2 turns.

So needless to say F Podwest!

And of course for the entire game I am enduring Dignan's heckling.

Dicemaster and MyBroInLaw were playing a 540 NHSD game on Hide-n-Seek while Podwest's Stingers were lighting me up.

And that left Dignan free to "comment" on every move I made.

I should nominate him the title of "************ " instead of "Professor".

He's such a ****.

Anyway MyBroInLaw, Podwest, and I decided to play a 3 player North Texas Shootout rules game on another one of Dignan's gorgeous 3 player maps.

MyBroInLaw rolled with:

120 Grimnak
140 Heavy Gruts
50 Nerak

PodWest had:

120 Kaemon Awesome
100 Blue Samurai
60 Izumi Samurai
30 Guilty

And I (at first) had:

220 Sentinels
80 Raelin

But then I remembered the rules of the North Texas Shoot Out:


That and the fact that Grimnak could literally chew through my point rich army had me begging for another army.

Podwest and Dignan basically said I should stop wearing my sister's panties and play.

That's when I noticed that Podwest had changed his army from Knights/Gilbert to Kaemon/Samurai.

Yeah, Sentinels vs. Grimnak/chomp and Samurai/counterstrike.

Screw that!

I switched(amongst many cat calls and boos from the peanut gallery) to:

110 Laglor
180 Gorillanators
10 Vydar Ninja

I figured this wasn't such a **** move as each of my squad guys were worth 30 points.

And c'mon...Gorillanators?

Podwest and I tried to wipe each other out at first, but Grimank is such a beast in these games that we quickly allied up against MyBroInLaw.

Until Podwest thought it was good time to betray me.

But it didn't matter! I won!

With Gorrilanators!

The coolest moment was the Vydar Ninja moving 10 and attacking a Wound-Glyph-Sitting-Heavy-Wild Personality-Grut from height! Ha!

That and killing Kaemin Awa for the win. I'd like to say it was my amazing play/ambassador skills that won it, but MyBroInLaw won iniative just about every time which left the much despised Podwest a sitting duck for me.

While I was cementing the Gorillanator's reputation as complete bad asses, Dignan was smacking Dicemaster around both the Badru Valley map and the lava/swamp If You Can't Take The Heat map that R˙chean selected for Hexes in Texas NHSD.

I'm not going to reveal their army selection as they may be bringing them to NHSD.

But Dignan has stingers.

And Raelin.

What a ****** ***...


DrLivingston pointing at a stinger behind some jungle foilage: I can see some flesh through the bush.

Dignan: That's what she said.
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