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FFC #82 - End of an era

Posted December 4th, 2021 at 02:06 PM by The Grim Reaper's Friend
TGRF's Fan Fiction Chronicles - Entry #82

The observant among you, my readers, might have noticed a disturbing trend where I discover something, or make some proclamation, only to go back on it in the next blog and say I was wrong all along. This entry is going to be like a double reverse of that trend.

Despite my early convictions that I needed to shift my focus away from writing and onto other things, I did what characters often do in the middle of a story: accept only enough of the truth to put everything back the way it was.

I kind of dialed down my writing, and I kind of explored some other paths, but I kept my focus on fan fiction, and the stories I could tell. And, just like in those above-mentioned stories, this didn't work. Things needed to change; they couldn't go back to the way they were.

I've finally confronted (again) my disillusions in this department. I am not currently supposed to be writing. There are other avenues I need to devote my attention to. While I hope to return to writing, I no longer know if it will ever happen.

Now I know I've said this before, and the writing keeps happening. This is different (I've said that before too, I know). This is like the end of those stories, where the character finally realizes he can't go back, and has to go forward, abandoning all vestiges of the old world he longed for and fully embracing the new world. I can't go back to writing. Not right now, and maybe never. I spent a long time telling myself that wasn't true, but I was wrong.

I've learned how to write. I've learned the methods and secrets, and I've identified and overcome my weaknesses. If I return to writing, I'll be ready. But until then, I have to accept the truth and move on.

I want to thank everyone here who's read my writings and cheered me on, even if they've remained mostly invisible. I also want to thank my fellow writers, who encouraged me to be better. Elven Lord, Orcs Blade, bumper15, BiggaBullfrog, TheAverageFan, Tornado, and even Sylvano indirectly (simply by the quality of his writing), all deserve thanks here. Bro-man also ranks here, for allowing me to critique his work and thus make mine better in the process. I also want to thank the CoN community for a consistently-fun time, and I'm down to join if they ever get a game going again.

There may come a day when I return to writing. It won't be tomorrow, but it could be next month, next year, or next decade. It could also never happen. But even if that's the case, then I know I've written the stories which needed writing, met the people who needed meeting, and learned the things which needed learning.

And in the end, that is enough.

I'll still be here from time to time, and I may even be down to join in the Fan Fic Competition if it were to start up again. But the days of full-length fan fictions from me are sadly over. For now.

Posted in FFC
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Tornado's Avatar
Best of luck in whatever you decide to tackle in the future.
Would be cool to see Fan Fic or CoN get going again.
Posted December 24th, 2021 at 01:43 PM by Tornado Tornado is offline
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