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Drake's Vacation

Posted July 19th, 2011 at 11:40 AM by Sylvano the Wasabus
It was almost midnight in Marr's Bar but that didn't matter because the place never closed anyway. The lights were always dim, the jukebox was always broken and the place was usually half-empty. Or half-full, depending on your point of view.

Old Drake Alexander was seated at his customary haunt at the far end of the bar, knife in hand, carving valkryies-know-what into the wood. No one dared tell him to stop. Too much time had passed now anyway and that part of the bar was now decorated with trees, samurai, gorillinators and skeeters all carved into the wood- a work of art.

Agent Carr was swirling his whiskey and soda- his memory might be going but his hand was still steady. It was important to him, but he couldn't remember why. He never took off his sunglasses either. Chardris had teased him about it once, until old Carr had shown him just how much of that oaken staff could fit down his big elven mouth. There was still a scorch mark on the wall from the brouhaha.

"Whatcha carving?" Carr asked, still swirling the whiskey and soda.

Drake mumbled something that was as unintelligible as a primadon greeting.

"Looks like a palm tree." Carr continued.

There was no answer, just the continuing scratch of knife on wood.

"That's right; you saw action in the South Pacific."

The knife continued, and Drake did not look up.

"Always wanted to go there. On a vacation. Never took a vacation. They never let me." Carr took a gulp of whisky. It didn't taste like anything. "What about you Drake? Drake?"

The old sergeant raised his head wearily. His moustache was as white as tundra, his eyes as bleary as the Valhalla sky.

"You ever take a vacation?" Carr asked.

Drake seemed to be surprised that Carr was speaking to him, even though they spoke every evening. Slowly, the old soldier nodded his head.

"Where'd you go?" Carr asked.

Drake sat his knife on the bar top and sat up straight, stiffly. He looked at Carr unhappily. "Don't really like talking about it."

Carr sat his empty glass down. "Something bad happen?" He asked gently. The two had been friends for an eon.

"It was a nightmare." Drake rubbed his hands over the thick canvas of his pants, as if he could somehow rub his dark memories away.

"I don't think I've heard this one.” Carr smiled. “Do tell."

After a shot of whiskey for lubrication, Sergeant Drake began. "It was all a big mistake.” He smacked his lips. They seemed to wait more whiskey. I was seeing this woman-"

Carr nodded knowingly. That's where mistakes usually started.

"- and she wanted to go on a trip with me. We were always fighting you see- fighting Marr, fighting goblins, fighting mezzodemons, fighting each other- and she wanted a vacation."

"Who was it?" Carr asked. Another whiskey had appeared in front of both of them.

Drake shook his head sadly. "Kyntela Gwyn was her name. She was an elf. Tall and graceful, beautiful blonde hair. A real looker. And a temper that would scorch a dragon."

Carr nodded knowingly. Or was he trying not to fall asleep?

"We went to the beach somewhere." Drake continued. "Some planet. Old Jandar himself handled the transport. A real vacation spot."

"How was it?"

Drake shook his head. "Before we could spread out our picnic blanket and put our beach umbrella up these sand monster rose up from the dunes and starting attacking us."

"Soon as we cut one down another one would rise up. Sand would get in our eyes and our mouth and we couldn't see and these things kept coming and they had claws and mouths and they were swiping and biting. I think that crow Jandar knew all along and he just wanted us to clear the area. Finally got rid of all of the sand creatures and was thinking of going swimming to clean up a bit when this monstrous thing rose up out of the water and headed straight for us. I don't know what it was but it was definitely hungry and then it was joined by a couple of its friends."

"We fought these things for a couple hours until they finally gave up and dove back under the water. Kind of didn't feel like swimming after that."

"Then these ghost undead things-they were really weird looking- draconian or something - surrounded us- I guess we were trying to picnic on an old burial ground. We had to run for it and ended up almost stepping into a lava field. We had a moment to catch our breath and that's when Kyntela hit me."

Carr sat his whiskey on the bar. "She hit you?"

"Yea. Was mad as blazes. Said I hadn't paid any attention to her the whole day. She hit me with her oak staff too." He pointed at the side of his head, home to uncountable scars. "That's how I got this."

"What did you do?"Drake shook his head and picked up his knife again. "There was only one thing I could do. I wouldn't hit a woman, you know Carr."

Carr nodded knowingly.

"But she wasn't a woman, she was an elf." Drake's knife began its slow reshaping of the bar again. "I slugged her so hard I knocked her out. Then I got the heck out of there before she came to because I knew I'd be in for it."

Carr nodded knowingly.

"I believe she still wants to kill me." Drake added. "Elves never forgive, you know. And that was the only vacation I ever took. Vacations are too dangerous."

And Carr was asleep.
Total Comments 4


flameslayer93's Avatar
That's where trouble usually starts. A woman.

Great read Sylvano!
Posted July 19th, 2011 at 03:35 PM by flameslayer93 flameslayer93 is offline
Chardar's Avatar
That's what he gets for cheating on Raelin!
Posted July 20th, 2011 at 05:40 PM by Chardar Chardar is offline
Gladitor's Avatar
Ditto, Chardar.
Posted July 28th, 2011 at 10:23 AM by Gladitor Gladitor is offline
Arch-vile's Avatar

This was the best part, IMO.
Spoiler Alert!
Posted March 7th, 2013 at 08:20 PM by Arch-vile Arch-vile is offline
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