Personal Ads

Username: 3 times the charm
Headline: Handle with care!
Vitals: Hot Female 4 U

About Me:
I’m a bit of a standout. I take pride in my appearance, especially my hair, the most gorgeous black mane you've ever seen. I like to get my way, but that’s because I usually know best. I may be a little older but I still look young. I’m in good shape, flexible and toned. Jewelry suites me, especially emeralds. I’m completely comfortable in the buff. How about you?
I admit I think I’m a big deal. It’s not arrogance if it’s true!

About the One I'm Looking For:
Appearances are important to me. I’ll only be with someone who is unique and unusual. I must admit I like a bit of bad boy-- not an awful, I'm-going-to-treat-you-like-crap kind of guy, but someone who's going to push me to my limits and then wait and see what happens next. Truth is, I'm just a nice girl (most of the time) who's looking for some fun and companionship (not necessarily in that order). I love it when guys are spellbound by my beauty. The right man not only fascinates me but also brings out the best in me. The right man also always wears protection.

My Idea of Our Perfect First Date:
We've built up such chemistry on the phone that when I first see you, I grab you by the back of the neck and kiss you before we even leave. Overcome, you shrivel and writhe at my touch. (Note: Don't you DARE try this -- some fantasies are best left as fantasies.)

My Perception of an Ideal Relationship:
You are an independent person who is confident, powerful and comfortable in their own skin. You’re not afraid to be hurt by me but you are willing to be totally dominated. You’ll do whatever I ask and not even think to question why. We’ll do everything together, and you will never question my judgment or complain about dampness, skin lesions or the chores I set out for you. You will cook fish for me every day because that’s all I eat. (fish oil is what gives my hair is luxurious sheen and keeps my skin so young looking- there now you know one of my secrets!). Unconditional cuddling on demand, even if it kills you.

What I've Learned from Past Relationships:
Relax and go with it. Don’t be scared – relationships may seem scary at first but that’s life. Scream if you like, it kind of turns me on. We may be together a short while or a long time- we can’t tell what the next shake holds, so let’s try to enjoy every moment we have while we still have it.
****************************************
Username: always the bridesmaid
Headline: outdoorsy male seeks same
Vitals: robust handsome male

About Me:
First off, I love the outdoors. If you’re not an outdoorsy person don’t respond to this. I spend most of my time outside and it’s there that I feel truly alive. Cold weather doesn’t bother me and I love winter sports. I’m kind of a big kid and I still enjoy the fun things about life- food fights, busting snowmen, and running around screaming. I’m a little bit bumbling, but it’s just because I’m shy around those I don’t know. In the past I’ve always been the single one, always hanging around with a couple. They’re really into each other and I’m just lonely. I’m a bit of a bear. If you don’t like a hairy back, don’t respond.

About the One I'm Looking For:
I prefer someone well muscled and strong but that’s just so you can keep up with me. You must be open minded and be able to see the beauty in a sunrise or sunset in the middle of the wilderness with nothing else around. You must not mind the smell of wet fur. Do you dare to date a bear? Previous experience sleeping rough is a plus.

My Idea of Our Perfect First Date:
Playing in a forest as snowflakes fall. A sushi picnic with good German beer. Para sailing, bungee jumping, or any extreme sport. I like to feel the blood rushing through my veins! But I also like quiet times and the sound of waterfalls, and ice cracking. Tobogganing!

My Perception of an Ideal Relationship:
We are walking in the snow for miles and miles and sometimes you grunt and sometimes I grunt but we don’t have to grunt if we don’t want to. Silence is good. Grunting is good. But when one of us is in trouble the other one is right there to help every time, right away.

What I've Learned from Past Relationships:
I don’t like elves. Creatures that worry about their appearance too much usually end up unhappy. I lead an active lifestyle. If you’re not up to that, than we won’t work. I don’t like flying creatures and I don’t like horses. Flying horsey things are only good for eating.