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Heroscape Party Fouls

Posted May 22nd, 2008 at 11:17 AM by Velenne
There have been numerous threads discussing the fair play and honesty components of Scape. We all remember the devolution and brain-cell loss associated with the Stinger Denial thread, or the events which lead to the creation of the Dice Rolling Magna Carta.

I originally posted this as a thread in the General section of the forum. Folks had some really brilliant submissions! It is important to note that these rules have nothing to do with actual mechanics of the game itself! Only what goes beyond the hexes. The only other rule was that the party foul has to have actually happened in the submitter's presence. So here they are in no particular order:

Heroscape Party Foul #1: Kicking the table and knocking over everything.

Heroscape Party Foul #2: Taking the book or holder of the unit cards onto the toilet with you in order to select your army. In fact, never mix Heroscape with bodily fluids of any kind.

Heroscape Party Foul #3: Bringing a child under the age of 8 to the Heroscape party and insisting that he play with the advanced rules... on my team.

Party Foul #4: Spilling of the beverages on the map and/or army cards, using army cards as coasters, or using the same hand for greasy snacks and cards/dice/figures. Blending refreshments with Heroscape in any way is to be avoided.

Party Foul #5: Using the "I have to call my [wife/friend/whomever]" stall tactic. No co-opting other people's brainpower unless they're playing on your team.

Party Foul #6: Playing Heroscape at the same time as another game. In fact, don't be playing anything else simultaneously unless everyone else playing Heroscape is too.

Party Foul #7: YELLING AND SCREAMING OVER LITTLE THINGS THAT DON'T MATTER. IT'S JUST A BOARD GAME!!

Party Foul #8: Blaming it all on the dice.

Party Foul #9: Being distracting or immature when you are the first to lose a game of more than two people.

Party Foul #10: Declaring before the game how awful you are at it and how the dice hate you. No one likes a Heroscape Hustler.

#11: Always playing with the same figures.

#12: Asking to go just a few points beyond the agreed limit.

#13: Using your cute children/siblings to cheat for you.

#14: Pouting after losing a game and refuse to talk about the game. Be open and frank about how bad you were.

#15: It bears repeating that this is just a game. Actual violence involving the figures or the players is to be avoided.

#16: Letting the 'new guy' build the map, especially if they could care less for aesthetics, mixing all the terrain types in a haphazard manner that makes no sense.

#17: Playing the game with sound effects. The designers did not include sound effects with the game because it doesn't need them. If you need sound effects, that's what video games are for.

#18: Leaving the room and communicating your strategy and intentions from another room for another player to do for you.

#19: Shaking the dice so long that you raise their temperature by 10 degrees. It wears off the symbols and is annoying. Just shake a couple of times and ROLL already!

#20: Suggesting ways that you could improve the rules or design of the game either by your own creative wit or using the rules of some other game. If you like that game so much, go play it.

#21: Coming to a Heroscape gameday or event without taking the time to practice proper hygiene. It is YOU who created the stereotype that causes us not to bring up Scape around our non-gamer friends.

#22: Playing competitive tournament armies during casual games, especially against people who don't play in competitive tournaments. Way to dishearten and emasculate a potential Scaper, you insecure nerd.

#23: Not reading the Dice Rolling Magna Carta.

#24: Complaining that I don't own all the figures you want to play with. If you like them so much, buy them yourself!

#25: Quitting the game when you start to lose. It's a game of chance. Anything can happen. Stop being a whiny little brat and take your whipping like a man!
Total Comments 12

Comments

Old
hextr1p's Avatar
Hilarious and serious at the same time! Poor sports and whiners are the WORST. Talk about sucking the fun out of a game like a friggin' Hoover9000!

I agree with everything... except the sound effects bit. There are moments when sound effects are appropriate and/or amusing. Albeit, there are even MORE moments when they are NOT appropriate and/or amusing. One instance is when you're making sound effects for the other player or team when they move or attack. Yeah, that's annoying.

Also, when the person doing the sound effects has no skill whatsoever in performing them. Truly annoying!

"Beh-kew! Beh-kew!"

"Dude, what was that...?"

"That was my Marro firing his plasma cannon at you."

"Seriously? Because it sounded like you were cursing at me in Arabic."
Posted May 22nd, 2008 at 02:42 PM by hextr1p hextr1p is offline
Old
Hatchetbill's Avatar
Hmmm. Is doing voices for your characters while you dance them around on their hex considered a sound effect? Because I find that yelling "judo chop" every time I attack with my monks or ninjas helps my dice roll.
I also like yelling "toxic skin" when I use my warwitch.
Posted May 27th, 2008 at 01:25 PM by Hatchetbill Hatchetbill is offline
Old
Good Point All Of These Rules Should Be A Part Of The Actual Game Rules Itself!
Posted May 30th, 2008 at 07:43 PM by Syvarrisguy3 Syvarrisguy3 is offline
Old
Eberak's Avatar
You know what is funny about the last rule, I was playing my Brother and I was smoking him. The only card he had left was Sonlen, while I still had 750 points in the play. He started whinning and crying about how much this sucked. I was really getting annoyed. however He ended up winning and now I don't hear the end of it.

The funny thing about that game is I can trace my loss to one wrong move and that ended up killing my whole army. lol, oh well...
Posted June 5th, 2008 at 11:23 AM by Eberak Eberak is offline
Old
dude u have some pritty stupid things 2 say!
Posted June 5th, 2008 at 07:23 PM by outerlimits456 outerlimits456 is offline
Old
theGuru's Avatar
This is awesome.

You forgot #26. Never throw a D20 out the window. Unless it's your own D20 and it's cursed. Then you may do whatever you need to do...
Posted June 5th, 2008 at 09:08 PM by theGuru theGuru is offline
Old
Einar's puppy's Avatar
The second to last rule: I often complain that my friend only has 1 rats, and one day he got mad. I responded by saying "well then give me back my 4thmass, stingers, and braxas." and he stopped.

Also, I always kick a table over after friendly game victories. We set up a special collapsible table for our kicking use. It's a blast!

Snacks: we have pretzels, no grease allowed. Though we did have hot cocoa once, but we had just been using a trampoline that was covered in snow. It was fun.

Last rule: yeah I quit. deal, it was DAY 3 of the game, we were chewing each other's heads off. Each one of us became a rules lawyer, and each of us were very volitile. Some figures were almost broken, and dice were almost thrown. we decided to stop when someone held up my Ninja as if to snap it, and I knocked it out of their hands with a well aimed D20.
Posted July 27th, 2008 at 06:46 PM by Einar's puppy Einar's puppy is offline
Old
R˙chean's Avatar
Wow...blogging now myself I didn't realize you wrote such an extensive entry about me. Really, Velenne, you could have just told me directly how upsetting my conduct is to you. I will be better.
Posted October 13th, 2008 at 04:43 PM by R˙chean R˙chean is offline
Old
Pickledpie's Avatar
I just died of laughter. Seriously.
A comment about rule #9: If they all team up on you you can! (especially if they're six people and only one doesn't attack you becasue he's on your team)

You also forgot: Stealing your friend's figures if you don't have them when they were kind enough to let you borrow them for a game! *glares at cardshark999*
Posted October 13th, 2008 at 07:36 PM by Pickledpie Pickledpie is offline
Old
Anonymous's Avatar
This is one I have experienced. Taking unused figures and hiding them in glaciers while others are placing order markers. Then, when they are trying to make a tactical decision tearing off the glaciers and saying "Ha! Ha! You didn't find ____ because you aren't very observant." The worst part is when it is two people doing it in a three-person game and they are teaming up on you. This going on for two hours late at night. Yes, it has happened to me. I think that justifies breaking Party Foul #15.

Also, in regards to Party Foul #17. Here is an official comment about that particular practice.

"PS. It’s a proven fact that if you yell “HULK SMASH!!!” every time you roll dice against an opponent’s figure, you will roll more skulls and they will roll fewer shields. Believe me, I do it every time. It works."

That is from a game designer. I don't know how that should factor in.
Posted December 2nd, 2008 at 02:56 PM by Anonymous Anonymous is offline
Old
Eirikr's Avatar
Fun post. I really wish you hadn't alerted me to the stinger denial thread though, man that was rough.
Posted May 13th, 2009 at 09:52 PM by Eirikr Eirikr is offline
Old
jbbnbsmith's Avatar
I also am in favor of tasteful use of sound effects. But I suppose defining "tasteful use" would require a fairly extensive blog of my own.
Posted November 21st, 2011 at 03:13 PM by jbbnbsmith jbbnbsmith is offline
 
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