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I was kidnapped and brought to the middle ages

Posted April 8th, 2010 at 02:28 PM by Sylvano the Wasabus
I am back.
I was recently kidnapped- not by gang members, drug lords or aliens or anything like that. They wouldn’t be interested in me. Unless they wanted my scape…

I was hijacked, incarcerated by life. It was my own doing even! There is an axe hanging over me at work. I don’t know when it is going to fall, but fall it surely will. Sometimes extra work comes my way, and this time I felt I couldn’t say no because of that shimmering overhead axe. So for a month I have been doing three jobs, which I can tell you, isn’t much fun. Even when you get paid at the end, it’s not worth the hole in your life.

But enough of that. I survived and What I really want to tell you about is something I find most bizarre- it is one of the things that kidnapped me.
Can you imagine a March Break camp for girls and boys which is like a medieval military school?
Presided over by a taciturn knight with little patience, boys and girls aged 8 to 12 experienced a taste of page and squire training, middle ages flavour.

Day one begins with the knight angrily barking the rules - summarized basically to: do what you’re told or get the boot. Also, expect to be injured. Every page will cry. Then there are a series of lectures on medieval society, history, peppered with a class on meditation. There are eye-mind activities- i.e. tests where pages are asked to list the items that they saw under a blanket held aloft for six seconds. Then they are given foam swords and introduced to basic swordsmanship.

And then the scary part – one of the pages goes out to the bathroom and doesn’t come back. The kids immediately jump to the worst conclusions- that their comrade has been abducted. They begin to panic, and freak out. The knight urges them to remain calm and sends search parties out through the building- a large former courthouse and jail built in 1860. The terrified search parties reported all sorts of things- suspicious vans in the parking lot, strange looking men, debris and carpet stains- but they eventually spot the missing page in the company of a person dressed all in black with a foam sword. Waiting. Then they are angry! It was all part of the program! They grab their swords and try to recover the page- and fail miserably. And so ends day one.

Day two is Japanese day, with lectures on Bushido, Seppuku, Japanese medieval society and tales of famous samurai and ronin. Introductory first aid and self defense are taught. Pages begin sewing a surcoat and painting a shield in the knight’s livery. There is more mediation, and an outdoor class in tactics disguised as capture the flag. There are exercises in stealth and scouting- entering spaces silently, clearing a room, hand sign communications. And then at the end of the day a page disappears again. Scouting parties are sent out, and the quest begins anew. And fails.

The week continues with lectures on everything medieval and exercises in the most difficult of things- working together. If you haven’t guessed, I am the angry knight presiding, my daughter is squire and my two older sons were amongst the fourteen pages. (my three year old had to stay with a sitter).

The week culminates with a mock feast, where the pages serve their parents and then entertain them with medieval songs, music, dance, poems they have written, and displays of swordsmanship. The feast is ruled over by a queen (the comely lady I currently court) and all royal decorum is observed. This is the fourth year I have led this crazy program- it started four years ago when my daughter suggested it and I agreed, as long as she would help me. She’ll be sixteen this year, and is a very good squire- she’s almost ready to be a knight.

I’m actually not that fond of the whole thing- I find it rather stressful and reigning in other people’s children is not one of my preferred hobbies. But my kids like is soooo much- I’ll probably do it again next year.

The highlights this year were the queen presenting my twelve year old with his first metal sword and promoting him to squire. I got all choked up over it- as usual- I hadn’t’ thought I would.
The other highlight was watching the incredibly large ten year old bully page, who on the first day proclaimed “I don’t cry”- cry every single day. The last day I found him bawling face down on the ground outside. He’d been whacked in the back of the head by the smallest page- a charming little girl who’d had enough.

Sometimes I think the middle ages were a time when justice was easier to come by. Society today is completely out of whack.

Would you send your child to this camp?
Total Comments 2

Comments

Old
Swamper's Avatar
I'd go to the camp. Sounds like fun.
Posted April 8th, 2010 at 03:28 PM by Swamper Swamper is offline
Old
Xn F M's Avatar
I wish I could have gone to a camp like that. . . .
Posted April 8th, 2010 at 04:47 PM by Xn F M Xn F M is offline
 
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