Jokes of the day

Well, the initial plan was to analyze some of the going-on's in the Garnet Cave, but I must admit that I was more confused after than when I started. So I decided instead to tell some of my favroite jokes.

Three guys walk up to the gate of heaven. (the three are any three of your friends that happen to be in the room at the moment). Saint Peter says to them that they can enter heaven, but to be careful about the ducks. God is quite particular about his ducks. One day, two of the three see the other one, Joey, chained to a witch, who is poking him with her broomstick. They ask him, Joey, what happend? Joey says, "I accidentily stepped on a duck! I swear I just didnt see it!" The next day Joey (witchless) and the other guy, Charlie, see the third guy, Will, chained to this 900 pound woman, who dosent feel like moving. They ask him, dude, what happend to you? Will says, "dude, I was driving my car, and I hit this duck! I swear I didnt see it!"
The following day, Joey and Will (900 Lbs less) see Charlie chained to this gorgeous woman. They ask, dude, how did you get chained to her? The girl speaks up, " I stepped on a duck."

So three guys are walking up to the gates of heaven. Saint Peter tells them, "heaven is getting full guys, so Im only gonna let one of you in, so whoever died the worse can enter. The first guy tells his story first. "For a while, I suspcted my wife was cheating on me, so I decided to go home early one day. When I got there, the place was a mess, and there was nobody in site. I heard a noise from a balcony (I live on the 25th story of a 26 story apartment building) and I went to investigate. There was this guy hanging there by his fingertips! I quickly grabbed a sledgehammer, and started beating his hands to a pulp. The guy had to let go eventually, but he managed to grab on to the 24th story balcony. I knew that the 24th suite was empty, so I ran downstairs, kicked down the door, and beat his hands to a pulp again. The guy finally lets go, and this time he dosent grab another balcony, and lands in the bushes below. But the lucky guy stands up! I ran back upstairs and grabbed my refridgerator, and threw it off the balcony. The guy was not so lucky this time. Afterwords, I felt so bad about it I shot myself. Thats how I died."
The second guy starts his story. I was sitting on my balcony doing yoga one day when this woman breaks into my suite, saying she needs a place to hide. (I live on the 26th story of a 26 story apartment building). I was so suprised that I tripped off the balcony! Luckily I manage to grab the 25th story balcony window. Then suddenly this maniac starts hitting my hands with a sledgehammer! I had to let go. Luckily, I managed to grab the 24th story balcony on my way down. As I was trying to pull myself up, the same manic kicks down the door and starts hitting my hands with a sledgehammer (again!). I let go, and landed in the bushes far below. By some miracle, I was able to stand up. I looked up, and there was a refridgerator. Thats how I died".
The third guy starts his story... "I was sitting naked in a refridgerator when suddenly, smack!"

Well, hopefully you enjoyed those.