The Gap
Posted November 24th, 2010 at 12:42 AM by theats
HeroScapers has always been good to me.
For those of you that have realized my absence, you have my gratitude, and for those of you that maybe had seen my work with Custom Scenery, I apologize for not logging on lately.
I had struggled to find the reason for my leaving of HS, and my moving on to different hobbies, why some lasted, and others did not, and ultimately I have come to a conclusion, and I would like to have your thoughts on the matter.
I found HeroScapers as a young, socially awkward 14 year old boy. I hadn't found my place in society, and I think it was only natural that I sought out people with something in common. I was seeking community.
On HeroScapers, formerly HeroScapeHQ, I found that community. There were many people, each with different opinions, and each with their own ideas and take on things. I fell in love with the community. As time wore on though, I found myself less concerned with the game, which I loved because of the detail to the figures, its availability, and how it brought me together with my friends. But as time wore on, my friends stopped playing, and that Gap remained.
Seeking to fill the gap, I poured into a General Topic known as 'The Tavern'. I made several friends, even Role Played as the Bar-Keep for a few weeks. I thought I had real friends, but in reality, my school work was suffering, my social life was non existent, and my relationship with my own mother was stressed.
At the Time, I had thought HeroScape is what made me happy, but that wasn't the case. It was you, the community that had filled me with a sense of acceptance. When all in life seemed to be going downhill, between struggling academics, an abusive mother, and suffering social skills, I felt drawn to HS. It was a place were I wasn't belittled.
But, time wore on, and I found myself seeking to be the center of attention. After a few stunts, and angering some of the mods (NetherSpirit), I felt cut off from the community, and lost joy in the game.
Lucky for me, I was able to find a supportive church that accepted me as a person, and over the next two years, where in my personal life I switched from HeroScape to Visual-Utopia(for witch I stayed with for 2 years), I started to discover that it wasn't the games that were satisfying me, it was the connections I was making.
After working through family hardships, turning my grades around, and blossoming out of my shell, becoming a contributing member of society, I had begun to feel more complete. I was building into other people.
Part of me did still miss the old community that once called me a part of it, and I did try, months ago, to re-enter the hobby, by trying my hand at custom terrain, but I found that it didn't hold the same enjoyment it once did, and all I have to show for it is some styrofoam apartment buildings gathering dust, sitting atop a stack of crates with my HeroScape, untouched in years.
So, here I am, writing a blog that I think few will read, but if you do, I would like to personally thank you for being a part of a community that was a stepping stone and a save haven at times when things were rough.
HeroScapers has always been good to me, and though I may not be able to chose the right words to express it here, know that I am thankful for this community, and glad to see it thriving still.
For those of you that have realized my absence, you have my gratitude, and for those of you that maybe had seen my work with Custom Scenery, I apologize for not logging on lately.
I had struggled to find the reason for my leaving of HS, and my moving on to different hobbies, why some lasted, and others did not, and ultimately I have come to a conclusion, and I would like to have your thoughts on the matter.
I found HeroScapers as a young, socially awkward 14 year old boy. I hadn't found my place in society, and I think it was only natural that I sought out people with something in common. I was seeking community.
On HeroScapers, formerly HeroScapeHQ, I found that community. There were many people, each with different opinions, and each with their own ideas and take on things. I fell in love with the community. As time wore on though, I found myself less concerned with the game, which I loved because of the detail to the figures, its availability, and how it brought me together with my friends. But as time wore on, my friends stopped playing, and that Gap remained.
Seeking to fill the gap, I poured into a General Topic known as 'The Tavern'. I made several friends, even Role Played as the Bar-Keep for a few weeks. I thought I had real friends, but in reality, my school work was suffering, my social life was non existent, and my relationship with my own mother was stressed.
At the Time, I had thought HeroScape is what made me happy, but that wasn't the case. It was you, the community that had filled me with a sense of acceptance. When all in life seemed to be going downhill, between struggling academics, an abusive mother, and suffering social skills, I felt drawn to HS. It was a place were I wasn't belittled.
But, time wore on, and I found myself seeking to be the center of attention. After a few stunts, and angering some of the mods (NetherSpirit), I felt cut off from the community, and lost joy in the game.
Lucky for me, I was able to find a supportive church that accepted me as a person, and over the next two years, where in my personal life I switched from HeroScape to Visual-Utopia(for witch I stayed with for 2 years), I started to discover that it wasn't the games that were satisfying me, it was the connections I was making.
After working through family hardships, turning my grades around, and blossoming out of my shell, becoming a contributing member of society, I had begun to feel more complete. I was building into other people.
Part of me did still miss the old community that once called me a part of it, and I did try, months ago, to re-enter the hobby, by trying my hand at custom terrain, but I found that it didn't hold the same enjoyment it once did, and all I have to show for it is some styrofoam apartment buildings gathering dust, sitting atop a stack of crates with my HeroScape, untouched in years.
So, here I am, writing a blog that I think few will read, but if you do, I would like to personally thank you for being a part of a community that was a stepping stone and a save haven at times when things were rough.
HeroScapers has always been good to me, and though I may not be able to chose the right words to express it here, know that I am thankful for this community, and glad to see it thriving still.
Comments 6
Total Comments 6
Comments
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Dear Theats,
I once asked one of the Grand Old Men of the military miniatures hobby, who had practically started it in England after WWII, and published many books on playing with toy soldiers, what periods he liked to play most. He replied: "It depends on who your mates are, doesn't it?" In other words, its your interaction with others which decides how well your hobby goes, regardless of the particulars. And thats true of almost any human activity that isn't totally a solo effort. Glad you've figured it out. Best of luck in the future. |
Posted November 24th, 2010 at 08:54 AM by chas
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It's all true. The game we play at my house unites us all, and gives us a common focus. We get excited about it. But what we're really excited about is doing stuff together, being on the same wave length, playing with each other. My sixteen year old daughter plays- not because she loves the game but because she loves us. She wants to be a part of what we're doing. The game is okay too....
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Posted November 24th, 2010 at 11:35 AM by Sylvano the Wasabus
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Thanks for sharing. From what I gather in reading this post, the discovery of this community and your falling away from it were both blessings of sorts that you needed in your life. In finding HQ, you began to recognize and understand just what it was that would fill that hole inside you in terms of connecting with people while also connecting with the confidence of yourself as an individual. By leaving the community, you went out and filled that gap on your own, in the real world, without the crutch of an online community that at times can be an easy wall to hide behind as you sit complacent in weaknesses and problems that need to be addressed in order to mature as a person.
I'm glad to hear things are going well for you, despite the rough road you travelled to get to where you are. |
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Posted November 24th, 2010 at 03:09 PM by hextr1p
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Very true. I rarely if ever play Heroscape anymore, but I'm infinitely grateful to all the members here who've I've talked with.
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Posted November 24th, 2010 at 07:25 PM by ABOMINATION
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I am glad to see some friendliness in strangers, and I know that the community is still alive.
I remeber many friends from here, Telord, Revdyer(a real inspirartion in my,but I've never been able to tell him), and many others. I'm almost 19 now, halfway through college. I go off to university next yearand I'm eager to see where life leads. I just felt like there needed to be a bit of closure with this piece of my past if that makes since. To the community that helped make me who I am, Cheers! |
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Posted November 24th, 2010 at 07:43 PM by theats
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Good onya. I hope writing this helped get some stuff out of your system too.
CRC |
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Posted November 30th, 2010 at 07:00 PM by CapnRedChops
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Recent Blog Entries by theats
- A return to Scape (October 17th, 2013)
- The Gap (November 24th, 2010)
