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Being approached by a strange stranger...

Posted November 16th, 2010 at 12:01 PM by Sylvano the Wasabus
Iíve wanted to write this for such a long time.

This is the creepiest thing ever.

It is such a hard story to tell.
I donít think that Iím prejudiced and I certainly donít want to give that impression. I know we all judge people by their appearance- we are trained from birth to do it- so how can we avoid all that baggage that suddenly pops up when you meet someone unusual?

Iím in the final weeks of my job and I had to go the main office to fill out papers about closing out my pension savings. I ended up being there at lunch time and so I decided I might as well treat myself to a meal in their big cafeteria. Itís huge- it actually has three tiers to it, and it was really packed. I had to wait in line while other people were waiting for their steaks to cook. Holy dead cow! Steaks for lunch! My usual peanut butter in a bag suddenly seemed really pathetic. So I ordered a steak!

When it was done I paid for it and brought my tray to an empty table near the door. I didnít really know anyone so I figured Iíd just be sitting alone anyway. There was this big screen TV that had FOX news on. I picked at the steak, which was rather tough, a little overdone on the outside and not cooked enough on the inside. Iím no fan of FOX news, so I watched a little and then sent a few text messages to my peanut butter sandwich which was still in its bag back in my office.

I was feeling kind of sorry for myself- losing my job, yukky steak, mocked by a peanut butter sandwich- what a weird afternoon. And thatís when it happened.

I hear all of this noise coming behind me- I look and thereís the woman walking right towards my table and sheís missing the top of her head!

Iím not talking about a bad haircut here- she literally had no head above her nose. Her face and head just stopped there, like sheíd had a bad experience with a guillotine. She had no ears, no eyes- but there was still some hair growing out from the sides of her head. All I could think was Ė is this possible? I know they were cutting staff everywhere but this was just too bizarre.

She obviously couldnít see Ė no eyes, right?- and she was smashing into tables and chairs as she came towards me. I wondered if she was somehow aiming for the door. But then she stopped at my table. She just stood there.

I was glad I hadnít eaten that steak. I would have hooped it. I couldnít stop staring at... the part of her that wasnít there. I looked around but no one else seemed to be paying any attention- so it was normal- they knew her. I didnít know what else to do so I pulled out a chair for her. How was she going to find the chair otherwise?

So she sat with me and started chatting.
It was extremely awkward. I didnít know if she could hear me or what- she didnít have any ears.
The conversation went kind of like this:

HER. Awful weather, isnít it? I donít like the rain- it goes down my neck.
ME. Ah....
HER. Iím a web designer. What do you do?
ME. Can you... hear me?
HER. I like to photograph birds... at least I think theyíre birds. I canít really tell.
ME. Is someone here with you?
HER. Iím trying to design an interface so I can somehow know what Iím taking pictures of. I need a full interface! (laughs)
ME. Do you need... assistance?

She kept chatting on, sometimes talking while I was talking. It was a lot of technical stuff, most of which I didnít understand; stuff about web design and something about the Ansari X prize, which I know nothing about. She was very charming and laughed often. She was quite pretty- what there was of her- but I just couldnít get past the missing pieces. I didnít know where to look but she couldnít tell and she just kept chatting away.

I think itís really great that people without heads can find work with computers, and she was obviously much smarter than I am- but where was her brain? Maybe it was in her neck?

After about ten minutes of pleasant chatter she stood up.

HER. Itís been really nice talking to you. Maybe youíll be around here again?
ME. I donít think so. Iím losing my job.
HER. Great! Iíll look forward to it. Bye!

And she flashed her brilliant smiled and walked into the wall three times trying to find the door.

I feel like crap. Iím sure I said and did all the wrong things. It sucks when you find out just how prejudiced you really are....
Total Comments 11

Comments

Old
Chardar's Avatar
Finally I get one of your "joke" blogs! You just made my day.
Posted November 16th, 2010 at 12:39 PM by Chardar Chardar is offline
Old
AliasQTip's Avatar
Maybe you can explain it to me someday, Chardar.

*AliasQTip scratching his full-head.*
Posted November 16th, 2010 at 02:35 PM by AliasQTip AliasQTip is offline
Old
tcglkn's Avatar
I'm with AliasQTip, I don't get the joke here.
Posted November 16th, 2010 at 02:56 PM by tcglkn tcglkn is offline
Old
Chardris's Avatar
Maybe a joke that never existed was "gotten" by Chardar or we're just blind. I really don't know.
Posted November 16th, 2010 at 05:20 PM by Chardris Chardris is offline
Old
Chardar's Avatar
Posted November 16th, 2010 at 05:24 PM by Chardar Chardar is offline
Old
dok's Avatar
More specifically, this. I had no idea either, for the record - I'm impressed Chardar made the connection.
Posted November 16th, 2010 at 06:10 PM by dok dok is offline
Old
Shockma Ranyk's Avatar


Funniest. Blog. EVAR!

*loads the rep cannon*

Here's to hoping the subject of this blog post returns!
Posted November 16th, 2010 at 07:24 PM by Shockma Ranyk Shockma Ranyk is offline
Old
AliasQTip's Avatar
I just got it on my own. Saw a recent post from her and it dawned on me.
Posted November 16th, 2010 at 11:05 PM by AliasQTip AliasQTip is offline
Old
Chardar's Avatar
I was just lucky. I remembered reading one of her blogs about the X project and that's where I figured it out.
Posted November 16th, 2010 at 11:50 PM by Chardar Chardar is offline
Old
Posted November 17th, 2010 at 07:02 PM by Fen_Hydra Fen_Hydra is offline
Old
wow you people have too much time on your hands
Posted January 31st, 2011 at 10:47 AM by PikminToo PikminToo is offline
 
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