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Louisville Dragon Wars

Posted March 6th, 2011 at 04:36 AM by Deroche
Updated March 6th, 2011 at 03:40 PM by Deroche
Louisville March 2011 Tournament Report
Dragon Wars

Being relatively new to Heroscape and excited to play in my second official tournament (and to put the awful January tourney behind me -- I managed to only go 2-3 with the winning GenCon 2010 Main Event army; Dok is now refusing to return my calls), I decided to wield:

Someone Give Me a Clever Name For This Army Because I Don't Have One

This army was suggested by killercactus in the pre-tourney thread (and I think by Dok as well in a PM...you know, back when we used to be on speaking terms) so why not let brighter minds dictate what I'll play. The gameplan with this army is simple and straightfoward: attack attack attack the opponent's dragon. I knew people would bring some high point dragons and with the partial scoring format, each wound would be worth more than any Stinger I lost in exchange, assuming I could keep that to a minimum. Equally important to me was the relatively lower total points, making even more vital any dragon wounds I could score, let alone outright kill. Futhermore, I was hoping to never use my dragon if I could avoid it, for the very same reasons listed above. I wish I had followed my own advice.

Okay, now at this point I had planned a wonderfully elegant and meticulously detailed battlereport, showing off my prose and wit, enthralling all of you with tales of Heroscape yore...blah blah blah. I lost my notes. So I'm going to start making stuff up since I've apparently forgotten more than half of what happened.

Game 1 vs Josh
Nilf, 10th Regularsx3, Guilty McC, Isamu?

My first match was against jschild's son Josh. Being that he was only eight years old, my mission was twofold: 1) to avoid losing to him so that I didn't have to kill myself, and 2) introduce him to the harsh, cruel world of gaming with adults. So I started smack-talking to him. Called him a punk (it's okay, his dad was out of earshot). What a mistake that was. Turns out I really pissed off the world's youngest back-smack-talker! He really layed into me, saying how he normally shows mercy to his opponents, but not this time. No one calls him a punk and I was going to pay. What a few minutes ago was a really sweet kid was now a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth, can't-wait-to-taste-my-blood monster. Oops. We squared off against each other on Failed Negotiations, with my Stingers in the middle against his 10th Regulars and his Nilfheim lurking behind them. And then the blood letting began -- Josh was true to his word, killing off my four Stingers in the middle with scary rolls that I couldn't block. Then came Nilf. Losing the middle like that right out of the gate, I thought I'd be clever and send Othkurik after the Treasure Glyph. You know, keeping my weak dragon out of harm's way as I had intended all along...not. Rolled a 3 and took a wound instead of getting the glyph, took a hit from a nearby 10th, then lost initiative the next round and couldn't withstand a four skull Ice Shard blast and just like that, I was already down 220 points. I started to cry. Josh giggled. Bringing more Stingers forward into the fray, a miracle happened: I managed to get 2 wounds against Nilf with my first OM, survive his return fire, and then stinger drain my way to a four skull roll of my own that his defense dice whiffed on and poof, no more Nilf. I giggled back at Josh, pointed my finger at him, and called him a loser (I quickly turned around to make sure his dad still couldn't hear me). Now the dice turned in my favor and I was able to get control of the middle again, along with some much needed height. The Stingers finished off his remaining army as they eventually came foward, where Josh had hoped instead that I was going move into his wait-then-fire. Ha, not a chance...I'm 1-0. Punk.

Game 2 vs Adalwolf the Destroyer
Zombiesx2, Krav Maga, Sonya, Nilf again I think?

Brimming with confidence after breaking the spirit of an eight year old boy, next up was Adawolf. We were on Fire Isles I think (lots of lava in the middle). Adawolf put his early OMs on his zombies and I thought to myself that I could get to the Treasure Glyph this time successfully with Othkurik because, you know, I'm stupid. Stupid people think these kind of things. I'm one of them. Oh, look, I roll another 3 and take a wound and hey, look, it's Nilf again and hey, look, I've just lost another 140 points again early in a match. I start to cry. Adawolf giggles. Even worse, I spend OM after OM against his harrassing Krav, unable to get past their Stealth Dodge, while constantly trying to fend off his onslaught of zombies. He respawns some, but the Zombie Apocalypse will have to wait as my Stingers are now killing them off faster than he can replace and finally they are all gone. Now freed from entangling undead engagements, I'm able to bear down on his dragon and a repeat performance from the first match happens again. A couple of wounds is followed up with another four skull roll where all defense dice refuse to make an appearance. You know the drill by now: I giggle and point fingers and make fun of Adawolf and his snot bubbles. After successfully killing off his 2nd Krav agent, time is starting to run out and I ask for a count of his remaining life points. Having regained the points lead, I run away like the coward that I am and force him to come to me. I can't recall if I won outright or by a points majority. Those were in my notes. The notes I lost. But at least I'm 2-0. I remember that much.

Game 3 vs NecroBlade aka "Cheating Luckbox" *
Mimring, Arrow Grutsx3, Swog Ridersx2, Krug, Isamu

Since El Diabolo is using tourney software, its going to match up the two best 2-0 records points-wise so far, which means I get to dance with Necroblade, last month's tourney winner. I scoffed at his Olde Schoole army. Bonding-Schmonding, I soulcrush defeated an eight year old and then withstood my own Othkurik stupidity yet a second time by munching on some zombie stew, what could a bunch of orcs and the worst dragon in the game do against an apparently emerging Heroscape god such as myself? Resort to cheating, of course. We're playing on MegaSilver's hopeful BoV map designed to promote rapid healing: lots of heat and lots of cold (it's common knowledge you alternate the two when nursing an injury, dontchaknow). Can anyone guess what I did early on? Yes, that's right, I tried to grab a teleporting treasure glyph with Othkurik.

I'm just going to wait here for a bit until all of you are through with your Face Palms.

So, obviously I didn't get the glyph because, well, you know, I'm me. But at least this time my dragon didn't die right away and I was able to use him a little bit later on. Necroblade quickly controlled the middle with bonded movement and started killing everything. Sure, Mimring did his share, but it was mostly from all his arrow gruts with height rolling two skulls Every Freaking Time. I mean, what did you expect from a Cheating Bastard like Necroblade? This also clearly explains how he "won" last month as well I might add. And yet, despite his cheating ways, some huge rolls went my way very late in the match. Necroblade almost nearly snatched defeat from the jaws of victory when Mimring suddenly died after being quite healthy only moments prior (he must have been asleep at the "cheating wheel"). He's got no choice but to bring Krug in, but he's slowed down by the snow, giving me a chance to kill off his other units; I'm trying to get points for them while I still can before I'm forced to deal with Krug and his ever increasing attack dice. With a couple successful Stinger Drain attacks from height to go alongside complete whiffs on his defense dice -- and how a cheater like Necoblade allowed that to ever happen in the first place, gosh I'll just never know -- Krug is suddenly down to his last life marker and I'm now ahead in points and Righteousness is about to prevail.

And then...

Krug rolls defense dice like they've never been rolled before. Damn law of averages...er, I mean damn cheating Necroblade. The points lead is gone after a round of markers: nine attack dice has that kind of affect. My only hope is for Isamu to survive and somehow finish off Krug, a swog, and his last remaining arrow grut. And for a few order markers, I had false hope. I kept Vanishing away from Krug's and the grut's attacks, but couldn't get the deathblow and eventually died, my army completely decimated. Clearly Necroblade arranged this entire outcome, toying with my fragile emotions. He's like that. Cruel. And he cheats.
Of course, Necroblade will tell you it happened differently.

So now I'm 2-1.

Game 4 vs El Diabolo
Braxas, Ratsx3, Raelin, Guilty McC, Isamu?

Everyone knows El Diabolo is the worst smack-talker on the planet. The man simply has no game. That's okay, he's got a lot on his mind as we sit down, so that helps distract him from his own inadequacies. He happens to be our tournament host, our fearless leader, a very busy man. Did you know there's a word for being this busy? It's called multitasking. Multitasking is apparently now a standard genectic feature in all children born after Y2K, but given how old El Diabolo is -- ancient, really -- such an option isn't available to the man. But multitask he must: Not only does he have to run the tournament, but he also gets to bask in my glory.

Looking at his army, I'm very disappointed to see El Diabolo has finally wised up and started to play what we Heroscapers call "better units." An eventuality I suspose, blind squirrel with an acorn and all that. Leading with his rats and controlling the board with engagement and scatter, El Diabolo was not only finally using better units, but he was also playing very well, very smart. This is what we Heroscapers call "very rude." He's not killing a whole lot, but neither am I and he's just ahead enough in points that suddenly I realize a half hour has gone by and I'm running out of time and how come I'm not winning and omg he hasn't brought his dragon forward and omgomgomg I'm dying to the likes of Guilty McCreech because he's camped with height next to a bush with Raelin close enough behind that she's shoving her spear up his you know where and what's this omgomgomgomg he's bring Braxas forward hoooooraaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stingers yet again did their thing - when rats permitted -- and shot the bejesus out of Braxas. In the end, I don't remember whether or not I had lost Othkurik or if it only had one life left, but his special was the only tool I had against those rats to free up the occasional Stinger. A very close match that I spent most of the time losing. Well played El Diabolo. Don't do that again. I'm now 3-1 and happy for it.

Game 5 vs MegaSilver
Moltenclaw, Ratsx2, Sharwin Wildborn, Brandis Skyhunter

I have to admit I was a bit dismissive of this army when I first saw it. I have to also admit that I apparently fail at reading comprehension. I'm still learning, but that's no excuse for making it easier for your opponent by not fully understanding what their units can do. Moltenclaw and Sharwin Wildborn quickly taught me a lesson. Unlike the last match, the rats weren't as much of a problem this time around. Less of them, without hiding next to shrubberies -go on, say it like Monty Python - and no Raelin to boost their defense made it much easier for the Stingers to serve up some rat on a stick. But I still had a lot of units relatively close to each other and Moltenclaw did quite a bit of damage, taking out Stingers and eventually getting four wounds on Othkurik, all thanks to my ignorance. And if I thought Moltenclaw was bad enough with his omni-directional "hey, look at me, I'm Mimring Junior!" attack, Sharwin Wildborn got to my back row and, geez, I don't even want to finish this sentence. I was in the lead until she had a little chain lightning party...killed off four or five with just one OM. And her excess shield ability...ugh. She eventually fell, but it took several turns and several sacraficed Stingers (oooh, alliteration). The final points total wasn't very indicative of the flow/feel of the match. I didn't feel like I won so much as survived. Well done, Megasilver. Hang on, I just typed another compliment? I must be tired.

So I finished with a record of 4-1, over 2000 points of total damage handed out, and I look over at the finals match between jschild and Necroblade. The Cheating Bastard is winning, of course. Oh well, I'm happy with a record of 4-1, a marked improvement upon last month's showing and I console myself over having come so close to winning it all, yet still pleased with finishing in second place out of 20. When the the final results were announced, I was grinning from ear to ear in anticipation over hearing my name as I stepped foward to the prize table:

El Diabolo: "And in 2nd place, with a record of 4-1 and over 2000 points of damage...DOUG!!!"

Huh? Who's Doug???

Oh...one of the other Stinger-army players? Of course. Thank God no one saw me walking foward. I'll have to make a mental note to myself to never tell anyone about this either. Check.

So, if there was a lesson I learned above all others in this tourney, then what would it be?

That the Stingers are so powerful in this format, that even an idiot like myself can win with them!

*Sarcasm Disclaimer -- just in case the "humor" was completely lost through my failings as a writer and not yours as a reader, Necroblade is *not* a cheater. He played a great match and deserved not the only the win, but the tournament championship as well. And I just threw up in my mouth again.
Total Comments 12


This reply is from jschild's son Josh in regards to Game 1 vs Josh. Watch out, you. I'll see you next month in the heat of battle. Don't call me punk.
Posted March 6th, 2011 at 04:01 PM by jschild jschild is offline
Deroche's Avatar
Haha, I look forward to Josh getting his revenge.
Posted March 6th, 2011 at 04:44 PM by Deroche Deroche is offline
I look forward to Josh getting revenge too!
Posted March 6th, 2011 at 08:54 PM by
I Hate Atlaga's Avatar
Wow. Mega's got guts.
Posted March 6th, 2011 at 11:52 PM by I Hate Atlaga I Hate Atlaga is offline
NecroBlade's Avatar
"That the Stingers are so powerful in this format, that even an idiot like myself can win with them!"

At least you learned the right lesson from this tournament - you're an idiot.

Your account of our battle is at least as inaccurate as mine but at least you can admit I'm better than you. Hope that vomit tasted delicious.
Posted March 7th, 2011 at 12:04 AM by NecroBlade NecroBlade is offline
Deroche's Avatar
Necroblade, I think I love you.
Posted March 7th, 2011 at 12:56 AM by Deroche Deroche is offline
R˙chean's Avatar
hmm..i've read both of the blogs regarding this event and see no mention of Greenscales. I find that encouraging. The fear with the Dragon required format was that everyone would play some greenscales.

I guess..not so much?
Posted March 7th, 2011 at 04:55 PM by R˙chean R˙chean is offline
MegaSilver's Avatar
Mines will be up soon as well, Ry.

I saw several people with GCs, but I didn't face any either. Mostly it was the younger/newer players that had them.
Posted March 7th, 2011 at 05:14 PM by MegaSilver MegaSilver is online now
Deroche's Avatar
Right...I think Greenscales were in at least three armies, possibly four (20 players at the start of the tourney). But they didn't fair too well. Like Mega said, all in the hands of novice players. In fact, I remember one player was cautioned several times to place their OMs on the Greenscales and not on their Dragon itself, so that tells you all you need to know.
Posted March 7th, 2011 at 07:19 PM by Deroche Deroche is offline
NecroBlade's Avatar
I don't remember how many armies had Greenscales, but I know two of them were piloted by brand new players. They were borrowed armies, one Greenroller and one Nilfroller.

As best I can remember in finishing order:
1. Arrow Grut bonding
2. Stingers
3. Stingers
4. Stingers
5. Rats + heroes
6. Gruts (heavy/blades)
7. Greenroller

7th was the highest Greenscale finish.
Posted March 7th, 2011 at 08:32 PM by NecroBlade NecroBlade is offline
dok's Avatar
4-1? OK, I guess I'll stop screening your calls.

While I think the Zamboni could have done pretty well in the right hands, the greenscale armies alongside any of the three A-level dragons are not necessarily a great play in a dragon wars format. Their best matchups aren't really other dragon armies.
Posted March 7th, 2011 at 10:53 PM by dok dok is offline
Sylvano the Wasabus's Avatar
Great report! - I like your sense of humour. Looking forward to more!
Posted March 8th, 2011 at 11:23 AM by Sylvano the Wasabus Sylvano the Wasabus is offline
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