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Worried, Muddled Thoughts

Posted April 27th, 2014 at 08:50 PM by Joseph Sweeney
Updated April 28th, 2014 at 07:59 AM by Joseph Sweeney
Wow! It's been a while since I played some ol' fashioned classic 'scape, and quite frankly -- I can't say I miss it, but I miss the days when I was so enthralled by the game.

It's kinda sad, looking back, I remember me as a six year old boy. Heroscape meant so much to me, the people I met at tournaments were great people. I didn't worry much back then, everything just seemed to fall into place, and I was always excited.

Now, I guess I worry excessively -- I'm a gamer, which also means I'm a nerd, which also means I'm weird -- this scares me, and I constantly wonder if I'm fitting in. Despite that deep down inside I know I am, I'm still frightened.

I constantly worry about my education -- if I don't understand something, I stay up forever until it's finished, all the while absolutely frustrated. I worry that no matter how hard I try I'm still going to be under-par. I worry that I won't get to the right college, that I won't like what I do for work when I'm finally through college. I have a problem absorbing the material I learn, and find myself constantly going back trying in vain to drill it into my head.

I worry about how I'll find the right person to spend the rest of my life with, how will I get the courage to ask her out, and then if she'll marry me? How will I raise my kids? Should I be strict like my dad? Or should I be kind and relaxed like I am now? What will my wife be like? Will I even get married?

Since I believe in God -- am I good enough to deserve heaven? Or am I not? Will I come up short of heaven?

I miss the days when I was small and young and didn't care, even though I have friends and have fun -- the doubt is driving me insane.

~JS, who probably has very minor problems compared to most in the world, but it still bothers me
Total Comments 7


Sylvano the Wasabus's Avatar
Sounds like major problems to me; major for you.

When you were six you allowed yourself to just be you. Now you’re putting all kinds of pressure on- and worrying never accomplishes anything.

Allow yourself to be yourself again- no one likes a fake, you’re not going to understand everything in your education, you will only find the right person to marry if you be yourself and God is with you and He doesn’t like fakers either.

Be yourself, set a couple goals and work towards them. Activity instead of worrying. Once you achieve those goals set some more.

Build your life. A good life and happiness have to be built boring brick by boring brick, they don’t just magically happen. Know that time is long and you have years to accomplish these things, and that if you fail and fall down you can get back up and keep going in the same direction.

Humans learn more from mistakes than anything else – accept that you’re going to make them and that is natural and just keep going.

You’re in the forest right now- all you can see are the trees. Commit to your direction and keep walking your path and you will come out of the forest and understand.

Life is a project. Work on it and make it want you want. Good things never seem to be easy but that doesn’t mean they aren’t achievable or worth it.
Posted April 28th, 2014 at 08:29 AM by Sylvano the Wasabus Sylvano the Wasabus is offline
Heroscaper Guy's Avatar
Wow, you sound a lot like me lately with worrying, JS. Shannon has said I am probably stressing too much about school when I'm up till 3:00 AM studying (and she's probably right since I was about to crash that day). My friends stress me out at times about my "girlfriend" relationship, but right now I'm trying to ignore that. I understand the feeling of stressing and trying to appease everyone, but I'm working on that. Here's what I've found out lately: the friends that I have at college, I did not stress about. I personally think that they might be my friends longer than my other friends (for reasons you know of). So take it slowly and just try not to bite off more than you can chew. Do your school work gradually when assigned, it's never fun to work on two pages of a report the night before it's due. And here's a quote that might help your stressing about what others think: "There was nothing you could have done. There will always be people that say mean words because you are different. And sometimes their minds cannot be changed. But there are many more people that do not judge a person based on how they look, or where they came from. Those are the people whose words truly matter." (Starfire-Teen Titans)
Posted April 28th, 2014 at 12:39 PM by Heroscaper Guy Heroscaper Guy is offline
MegaSilver's Avatar
JS, and everyone reading this, should look at this:

Posted April 28th, 2014 at 04:02 PM by MegaSilver MegaSilver is offline
flameslayer93's Avatar
JS, everything will be fine. You're stronger than you realize. ^_~

~~flameslayer, pointing out that the things everyone has said cannot be added upon, encouragement aside.
Posted April 29th, 2014 at 12:19 PM by flameslayer93 flameslayer93 is offline
Joseph Sweeney's Avatar
Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate the time you took to help me out.

Posted April 30th, 2014 at 10:02 AM by Joseph Sweeney Joseph Sweeney is offline
boromir96's Avatar
I'm just gonna say, if I ever need advice/encouragement, I'm asking Sylvano.
Posted May 1st, 2014 at 09:58 AM by boromir96 boromir96 is offline
Tornado's Avatar
Sylvano has already said what I was thinking. Never worry about what others think. It is pointless. Be the best you and other good people will recognize that if they choose to do so.
You have your entire life to do God's work. Continue to do what you believe is right and the rest will all fall in place. Re-visit that 6 year old you from time to time. It sounds like he was living the good life. We could all learn from him.
Posted May 1st, 2014 at 11:49 AM by Tornado Tornado is offline
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