Heroscopes for 2012

Welcome to the year of the black water dragon! Astrologically it’s supposed to be an unpredictable year, but on the positive side. Find out below what this year has in store for you!

Although some people believe the Mayans predicted a doomsday in 2012, this theory is only true if you are employed by a company that is restructuring, or you’re struggling with your mortgage. In general a dragon year is lucky, unless of course you are one of the unfortunates affected by acid spray special attack.

There is a Ching dynasty prophecy predicting that a wise man will appear in 2012 to make the world prosperous and peaceful in the year of the Black Water Dragon. But wouldn’t a really smart person duck the spotlight?

Some have interpreted Nostradamus’s ramblings and expect a comet or asteroid to strike the earth this year. I think if we all buy backyard trampolines it may save us. I also own stock in a trampoline company.

Other charming disaster theories detail the shifting of the magnetic poles, massive electromagnetic storms, turbulent volcanic action and enslavement by a sentient internet. If you believe the world may be ending this year please contact me or another Scaper on this site and we will care for your Scape since you won’t be needing it anymore.

Others have said the world will lend this year because of predictions naming the last official American president and the last official pope. I was thinking that maybe the C3V can help them get started with new custom ones?

Here’s what you can expect for 2012

If you were summoned to Valhalla by Vydar
You may do well this year but you’re going to have rise above. The competition is going to be fierce. Try to avoid melees; your greatest strength is remembering to stealth dodge as much as possible. If things get dicey, try to channel Otonashi- phantom walk out of there at top tricky speed!Stay in the game as long as possible – it is the only way you’re going to succeed!

If you were summoned to Valhalla by Aquilla
Oddly, this is a rocky time for you. The forces of nature are at odds, and so for you good situations will transform into bad and bad into good. It’s going to leave you puzzled and confused. You may find yourself attracted to people you previously despised. Try to avoid overnights at your mother-in-law’s. If you are engaged to be married you will likely have second thoughts. If you decided to end the engagement, put the announcement off as long as possible (like into next year), or face a likely lethal leaving engagement attack.


If you were summoned to Valhalla by Jandar
This is going to be a banner year for you, even if you aren’t Sir Gilbert. Your finances will be steady or show a slight increase, while your love life will sky rocket. Your odd charm will be able to melt even a greater ice elemental. If you already have a spouse, you may gain a second. If you haven’t already completed your collection, this is the year it will happen for you.

If you were summoned to Valhalla by Ullar
You will be riding high for the first part of the year and then expect a letdown after that. You may discover that you were just plain stupid during the riding high part and it was really all in your head- but don’t fret because that still counts for something. Try to stay safe and consider hiding as much as possible. Remember things go better when you’re out of everyone’s line of sight.

If you were summoned to Valhalla by Utgar
Although this year is going to have some setbacks for you, your power is rising. You will break down some doors and fly over some barriers that had troubled you without becoming engaged to them. Not everything is going to make sense, so try to live in the moment and enjoy the heat of the flames before the fire trucks arrive. You feel more powerful that you ever have before, but constructive ways to use that power will likely escape you. Your power will quickly wane next year but you’ll be able to use it better. Don’t be too angry, remember you can’t have everything.

If you were summoned to Valhalla by Einar
This year can be very good for you but you’re going to have to be careful. You must bide your time and wait to strike- finding the right moment is crucial. Choose your friends wisely and try to only associate with those who are valiant. You may face a surprise attack from someone you thought trustworthy- but it will do little real damage, except to your heart. Try not to let it get you down. Great treasure awaits those who will search it out.

If you were summoned to Valhalla by Valkrill
You think you are focusing your energies on a big project, but when it is achieved or fails you will care little. Odds are you will not understand what you are really trying to accomplish- there is definitely something but it is hidden from you. Continue focusing the way you began the year and there’s a small chance you will understand the big picture. But even if you don’t, it’s important for your sanity to be working on something, so keep struggling!