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The ramblings of a designer turned writer turned computer geek turned writer turned designer with way too much time on his hands.
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FFC #56 - The Final Entry

Posted July 7th, 2020 at 08:07 PM by TGRF
TGRF'S Fan Fiction Chronicles - Entry #56

Over the last year or so, I've slowly come to realize that I would eventually have to write this entry. (There's an opener if there ever was one.)

And for the past few months, I've put off writing this entry. Probably because I didn't want to think it was real. Because when I hit that 'post now' button, I know what it could mean. But at this point, this entry is only a formality.

Enough with the drama.

I am postponing writing, including all fan fiction AND novels and anything else I might write, indefinitely. While I still feel (and hope) that I will at some point return to my writing, possibly within a few years, I have to say that never returning to it at all is a very real possibility. At least not in any major capacity.

This is not by choice. There are two primary reasons why this is happening:

1. College +. For those who have known me on this site for any significant amount of time, you'll know that I spend a lot of time here. How can I spare so much time? Short answer: because I'm doing nothing else. To put it simply, I am the person who is perfectly happy to sit at home, staring at a computer screen, going nowhere and meeting no one. I actively avoid leaving my comfort zone, and recently I've come to realize what that is costing me. As a remedy, I am forcing myself into college (kicking and screaming), something I should have done years ago. Once in 'the system', I am counting on external forces to keep me from retreating back to my introverted state. This is something I need to do, otherwise I won't be able to support my dream of writing (barring a million-dollar bestseller).

2. This is the plan. People easily offended by religious terms, skip ahead. Basically, I convinced myself long ago that it was 'the Plan' for me to practice writing here on HSers, and ultimately break into novels with a bestseller from nowhere. I've now come to the conclusion that I was only half right. It was the Plan for me to practice writing here. Why, I'm now not so sure. God only reveals his plan bit by bit, or rather door by door, and it is dead obvious right now that the current door being offered is to get up off my chair and get in college. Why? I have no idea. What does this have to do with all that writing I practiced here on HSers? Again, no idea. It's my job to follow, not know.

So, what does this mean? Will I return to writing? I hope so. It's been my dream for years to go to an agent and blow them away with a masterpiece. To create a world and a story people want to lose themselves in. To find other people who want to write, but are stuck without critics or direction, and to form a community of writers all helping each other.

Will any of that happen? I don't know. All I can do is wait and see.

The only thing I feel like I know at this point is that it's time to set writing aside, at least for a little while.

What does that mean for my activity on HSers? Again, I don't know. The main reason I've been on this site is for my writing. With that taking a distant back burner for now, there isn't much keeping me here. I'm not involved in the Codex any longer, and CoN has - to be honest - lost some of its appeal for me. There really isn't anything else I'm involved with here.

BUT, I have met a lot of great people on this site, and I WILL continue to check in from time to time, if only to see what's happening with everyone, and to watch the fan fiction forum for that miracle of new authors descending upon it. Or Orcs Blade coming back. Whichever comes first.

So... yes. That is the update. Like I said, I've put off writing this entry for awhile, but I feel like it needed to be said at this point.

Keep writing, and I'll see you on the other side.

~TGRF.

*TGRF wishes to remind all viewers that his plans, and his interpretation of the Plan, can be faulty, and results are unpredictable. While there is a chance you'll log in tomorrow to a 300-page thriller concerning Valhalla, the Wellsprings, and a Venoc Viper named Rambo, TGRF believes it is currently highly unlikely.*
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Old
TheAverageFan's Avatar
Sad to see you go, TGRF. Though in my own circle of destructive logic my writing interest tends to swell while I'm stuck at school and wane while I have free time at home with all its distractions (almost everything I've written on this site including the 250-page novel was written at school between (or during) classes). So if you're anything like me your mind might just surprise you and drift back toward that 300-page thriller concerning Valhalla while you're supposed to be learning We'll see what the future holds.

~TAF
Posted July 9th, 2020 at 05:17 PM by TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
Old
TGRF's Avatar
@TheAverageFan That's actually very encouraging, thank you!

~TGRF.
Posted July 11th, 2020 at 08:08 PM by TGRF TGRF is offline
 
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