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Click here if you don't want to wait.

Posted June 20th, 2009 at 01:41 PM by The B.I.V.

Click here if I don't want to wait?! Huh? Ever see this?!! Am I honestly supposed to think that if I don't want to wait an extra 5 seconds that there's this magic button that's somehow going to get me through faster? Well, clicked it today just out of curiosity. It didn't do jack squat as far as I can tell. It's dumb, too, cuz anyone coming to an internet forum is coming to waste time, so saving that extra 5 seconds probably doesn't matter to them. 'Course, it really doesn't say anything about getting me through faster, so maybe that's just me, projecting my own meaning onto it. It really doesn't imply anything at all about what happens when you "click here." Maybe it makes a little tally mark on some computer program that's part of a "impatient morons on the internet study." Maybe there's just some fool on the other end that gets off every time he gets someone to press this idiot button. I guess we'll never really know. It pisses me off to no end, though. But that's not even what I came here to write about today.

Last Saturday, I'm at our local Scottish Highland Games festival. I'm standing outside the women's bathroom waiting for my daughter to come out. This other stupid hoody-wearing kid comes up with his mom and she goes in so we're both waiting. Then this freak comes up with his girlfriend and she goes in. So now we're all waiting. By freak, I mean, this guy could pass for one of those cartoon cannibals that you always see cooking some explorer in a pot, except he doesn't have a bone through his nose and he's not black. But he does have a friggin' skull and crossbones tatooed on his neck and chin, among other tats, a peirced face (in the interest of saving time, I'll just say that instead of elaborating on the plethora of crap he had in his face), and a pair of huge spacers in his ears. Before I can even finish thinking what a freakish, loser-***** this guy is, the dumb kid, says: "Dude are those 2 inch?" And Freak's all, "Inch-and-a-half." And then their stupid conversation continues:
"Cool. How long have you been stretchin' 'em?"
"7 months. I work at a tattoo shop. I've been scalpeling 'em."
"Thanks, man."
Before Stupid Kid could kiss his idol's butt any more, my daughter came out and we left. Thoughts:
  1. It's permanent, Dumbo!
  2. At least Dumbo's big floppy ears allowed him to fly.
  3. Piercings, tats, etc. don't make you a rebel or unique or cool. They only make you exactly like every other pierced, tatooed idiot out there.
  4. We created civilization (and became civilized) because we'd had it with sticking bones through our noses and killing stuff with spears. We've been there and done that, and we like it better this way, so why do all these goons want to go back to the stone age?
  5. I feel better now.
Total Comments 3


johnny139's Avatar
I always click the "click here fi you do not wish to wait" button. I agree; it does virtually nothing and pretty much just gives you the satisfaction of a pressing a button.

But I do it anyways. For some reason.
Posted June 20th, 2009 at 02:05 PM by johnny139 johnny139 is offline
AliasQTip's Avatar
I sometimes laugh when I see the kids where clothes 3 sizes to big for them: shoes obscured by 10-inches of pant leg, pants hanging completely off their behind, a t-shirt the side of circus tent, and a lopsided oversided baseball cap. They really look like they need to get there mother do dress them. I perosonally think it's the epitome of lazyness. Piercings, tatoos, and other "body modifications" are a sign of rebellion against the norm, but when they become the norm are they really rebelious? I also laugh at the droves of goths at the local mall: 5-7 teenage vampires all dressed alike it black leather/vinal in the heat of summer. Do any of these people have a real sense of identity? It actually quite sad.
Posted June 21st, 2009 at 09:34 AM by AliasQTip AliasQTip is offline
J4Jandar's Avatar
Hey, enjoy the freak show with out the price of admission! All these 'tards help you feel better about yourself AND are good for the laugh muscles. Who would you pick on if they were not available? You can't say no one since it's obviously human nature to do so.

One of my favorite groups of people that help reaffirm I'm not so bad. The drag queens...
Posted September 22nd, 2009 at 11:24 AM by J4Jandar J4Jandar is offline
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