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Under Siege

Posted August 30th, 2012 at 10:08 AM by Sylvano the Wasabus
I have not been here for a while. I know thatís not a big deal and you probably didnít notice and it happens to everyone but I never thought it would happen to me. But you see, we were under attack.

At my new job it is impossible to access the site. I donít have internet at home. So my times here were heavily reduced- I had to make specific forays to the library to peruse. But I was dealing with that. It wasnít always convenient, but I did it.

Then came the attack. If youíre reading this you probably already have suffered through some of my other posts where I complain about my unfocused life and celebrate my children. What kind of siege could I possibly suffer in this world? You are probably thinking it was some nightmare or some imagining of mine where I dreamt we were all sheep and were attacked by flying robots from the pink popcorn planet. Although that sounds kind of exciting, it wasnít that. It was a real siege. The only thing we have of value at my house (even more valuable than our pile o plastic Scape) is Us.

My ex-wife, whom the children enjoy generous and unrestricted access with, decided to move to California. Sheís get a joe there with a great job and pile of cash and so she wanted to jump the border and root in the good old USA. The catch, of course, was that she wanted to take my sons with her. My daughter is eighteen and legally an adult and she just said no thank you.

My sons are just eleven and fourteen. She asked them if they wanted to go and I told them that I would support whatever decision they made. There was no other choice for me. I wasnít interested in keeping them against their will, prisoners. Their mother said they could choose too and brought them to California for almost three weeks- the longest amount of continuous time theyíd ever spent with her. They saw the sights and lived in the nice apartment with pool where they might live. They visited the schools and enjoyed the weather. And when they came home to me they said they had decided- and the decision was they wanted to stay here with me. They could visit their mother for vacations.

That should have been the end of it, but their mother announced then that they boys could not decide and they were moving no matter what. We pulled our lawyers out of the closet and she announced that she would never give up and would take it to court until forever.

And then the phone calls started. ďHi boys, weíre leaving tomorrow so youíd better get ready to drive to California.Ē After the first one my sons decided to go and visit her to try and reason with her, for there was obviously some kind of misunderstanding. They hadnít agreed to go and werenít going. But when they got there she and boyfriend talked to my fourteen year old for five and a half hours- until one thirty at night. They made promises, they questioned his judgement, they twisted things and kept the pressure up until he could no longer stay awake. Heís not sure what was said at that point, but when he came back to me the next morning he said he didnít want to go to California. She claimed he had said yes, even though she had already said they couldnít choose.

There were more phone calls along the same line. The children didnít want to speak to her. My lawyer said it was pretty impossible for her to take them against their will. He said even if she drove it all the way to court she would likely lose.

But all emotions are on strings and they pendulum- sometimes I was certain and other times I was scared. I would have let them go. But not once did they tell me they wanted to.

Then I got an email when they were with her saying they had agreed to go and I had an unpleasant two days learning to accept their departure before I saw them again and they said no, they were staying. Always staying. No question.

Time lost meaning. Everything lost meaning. There was only us, and we had some incredibly happy times, living fully in the moment, crazy ridiculous joy. We are so good together. The pressure being put on them by their mother was intense. They were upset, they cried, they were angry, they dreaded seeing her. They said they would never be able to trust anyone again. Now they just want her to go- she thinks she can be happy there and they want her to be happy. But they want to stay here.

We played our version of Scape of course, including one rather amazing siege- shiploads of orcs, goblins and ratmen attacking a dwarven fortified island. The dwarves flew gyrocopters and fought with everything they could but they were overrun and the goblins rats and orcs ran up on the walls and hooted and hollered in triumph. One lone gyrocopter escaped, and flew away into the mist to tell the tale.

My ex-wife told everyone they were moving. All their friends all her friends, anyone who would listen. Then she married her boyfriend so she could get immigrations status. At the wedding everyone asked the boys about California but they felt they had to smile and nod and say nice things because they didnít want to run her day.

She has pushed them farther away from her than they have ever been before. As it stands I can only assume that she is building her case for court- for she tells us nothing. But the boys wonít go. My one son says that his mother will have to drag him onto a plane and as soon as it lands heíll start walking back. She has made it into an ugly fight which hurts everyone -but she will end up the biggest loser. They will never forgive her for this. They will never trust her again.
I spent as much time as I could just being with the boys. We just played and talked. We laughed and cried. I promised them I would do everything I could to support their decision, no matter what it was, and thatís what I have done. Iíll fight it in court. Iíll just stand beside them when they need someone to talk to.

Iíve tried hard not to complain too much in these blogs. Who wants to read that? I have not written about my ex-wife. Itís an old story and really not very interesting. The children seldom mention her. But there it is. I have not been here because I could not leave our citadel, even for an instant. We are under siege, and the children know their attacker. Sheís camped out there still, waiting, unwilling to truce and parley. And my sons are trying to go on about their lives, with this sword hanging over their heads.
Total Comments 9

Comments

Old
MegaSilver's Avatar
You mean more to your boys than she does. You were the one that raised them, not her. She left them to you to raise, and now she wants to claim them. But they are not hers. They are yours, and your boys know it. They want to be with you, and nothing will ever change that. Not even that woman that wants what you have; even though she didn't even try to keep it in the first place. Serves her right.
Posted August 30th, 2012 at 10:17 AM by MegaSilver MegaSilver is offline
Old
Arch-vile's Avatar
Megasilver said it perfectly. You obviously mean more to your children than she does, and that's what is important. I will keep you and your children in my prayers, and pray that everything works out happily in the end.
Posted August 30th, 2012 at 12:00 PM by Arch-vile Arch-vile is online now
Old
'Scaper94's Avatar
You, sir, are an honorable person. Your children are incredibly lucky to have such a kind and caring father such as yourself. I hope your ex-wife soon realizes what she's doing, that she's driving her children away from her.

I wish you and your children the best.
Posted August 30th, 2012 at 01:50 PM by 'Scaper94 'Scaper94 is offline
Old
ZBeeblebrox's Avatar
Good luck Sylvano, and best wishes to you and your boys.
Hope someday we can all get together for another epic game of Sylvano-scape.
Posted August 30th, 2012 at 04:20 PM by ZBeeblebrox ZBeeblebrox is offline
Old
chas's Avatar
Clearly, your daughter escaped because she chose the Elven Way of life. Since you others did not, you are of course cursed. However, even curses have an end, and the boys will be your pals for the rest of their lives, whatever happens in the next few years.

I hate to think of you having to resort to lawyers, but you are clearly ready to fight the good fight. Too bad the boys aren't old enough to talk her out of it. Perhaps having them go with her for a while would end up as your best arguement, but it would be a painful way to go. Good luck, and keep us informed.
Posted August 31st, 2012 at 09:26 AM by chas chas is offline
Old
I wish you all the best...trying times like these are never good but you did the right thing in going to the lawyer. I don't like them but they do have a purpose and keeping your kids is the best thing you could ever do.
Posted August 31st, 2012 at 12:51 PM by AMIS AMIS is offline
Updated August 31st, 2012 at 12:52 PM by AMIS (Even Dwarves sometimes need soliciters.)
Old
flameslayer93's Avatar
Sorry to hear these news Syl.

I do hope you and your family (even your ex-wife!), will figure out what to do and continue with your lives happily. The fact that its had to go this far is total bull....
Posted September 1st, 2012 at 07:32 PM by flameslayer93 flameslayer93 is online now
Old
dok's Avatar
That you would have let them go if that's what they wanted, but she won't let them stay when that's what they want, tells me everything I need to know. It reminds me of the Judgement of Solomon.

My thoughts are with you in this difficult time. Bravo for dealing with it the right way, by enjoying the time you have.
Posted September 1st, 2012 at 10:16 PM by dok dok is offline
Old
Sherman Davies's Avatar
I have never met you Sylvano, and by nature I am always mindful of the fact that there are multiple sides to any story, but what I do know of you from your writing here tells me that your children will be better off with you than their mother. I'm crossing my fingers for you and your boys.
Posted September 2nd, 2012 at 02:03 AM by Sherman Davies Sherman Davies is offline
 
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