Hi there, boys and girls! Papa-'Scape has just returned from a week with Revdyer in the mountains of Western North Carolina (Black Mountain, specifically). He was up there teaching an elder hostel (angry old folks) about the history of Christianity and the history of the American Civil War. It was really difficult to listen to him talk for an hour and a half each morning on both of those topics (there's three hours wasted for Papa-'Scape!) and there was no internet access and if it had not been so beautiful (and some of the people interesting) I would have been bored to death. But now we're back and I have two interesting (to me) questions from Revdyer's PM mail box. (You can PM me with your questions there too!)
First, Fuzzie Fuzz forwarded this:
Dear Papa 'Scape,
My friend is a really sore loser. Whenever I do damage to his figures, he shrieks, lights my cards on fire, cuts the heads off of all my figures, kills a kitten, gnaws on my Krug, cuts holes in all my 24-hexers, and dumps the remains in a large pile, and then stomps on them. Then he takes his turn, and I think he flips over dice to show skulls when I'm not looking. Also, he picks his nose, which is really gross. What should I do?
Thanks,
Guy-Who-Keeps-Having-To-Buy-More-HS in WA
Dear Guy,
You have really asked three questions here. I won't tell you not to do that, but, really, it just goes on and on, doesn't it?
Okay, so first is the issue of the destruction of your stuff when you do damage to his figures (I am assuming the "damage" is in game terms and not that you are bending off arms or anything like that. If you are, then, shame on you, he's allowed to take an arm or leg off of your literal body for that...see my previous remarks about fingers.) He's allowed to shriek. But setting cards on fire or cutting the heads off of your figures? Well, that's right out. Cutting holes in 24 hex pieces is also not kosher. He is allowed, by the rules of the game, to gnaw on Krug, though, as long as no teeth marks are left which might change the target zones on the big green troll. There were a number of Rock 'n' Roll songs in the late 50's and 60's that used the lyrics, "Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, nah!" There was also a great cover-song group "Sha-gnaw-gnaw" with the lead singer named "Bowser."
As to the kitten. That's just wrong. Anyone who kills a kitten is fated to have Marro Warriors cloned in his colon.
Finally...there is the ancient saying (I think it goes back to Heraclitus the Obscure in the early 5th century BCE), "You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose." If it grosses you out that your friend picks his, just remember that it could be worse. He could have piles.
Hope this helps. - Papa -'S.
And, there is this, passed along by LongHser:
Dear Papa-Scape,
My roommate and I both enjoy Heroscape a lot. One day, I walked in on what I thought was a real Nakita Agent. It turned out that it was my roommate wearing white, tight clothes with high heels and wig. My roommate confessed that there were a leather jacket, a gray top and black pants to try as Skahen. Should I be concerned because we are both male?
Dear whomever,
Do not be concerned that you are both male. With modern surgery, that does not have to last long. Just remember, after the operation(s), that Agent Skahen is much nicer than any Nakita. Also, after the operation(s), if you and/or your roommate want a job dancing, I know a good agent or two.
Have fun and remember to wear clean underwear in case of an accident. (Wear clean software too, for the same reasons.) - P S
Finally, one last question, a two-parter:
Dear old dude,
With the terrible situation in the U.S. economy, what should I do with my investment money?
Second: Is that Sarah Palin hot or what?
Signed, Bothered in Boston
Dear B&B,
I recommend putting all of your investment money in HeroScape product. Order as much as you can afford from HouseMouseGames.com or some other reputable merchant. It is better than gold as an appreciable asset.
As to your question, "Is that Sarah Palin hot or what?" Papa-'Scape says, "Yep."
And that's it for this edition of Ask Papa-'Scape. I hope you all had a good time.
There is no Smurf image here...these are not the Smurfs you are looking for...
First, Fuzzie Fuzz forwarded this:
Dear Papa 'Scape,
My friend is a really sore loser. Whenever I do damage to his figures, he shrieks, lights my cards on fire, cuts the heads off of all my figures, kills a kitten, gnaws on my Krug, cuts holes in all my 24-hexers, and dumps the remains in a large pile, and then stomps on them. Then he takes his turn, and I think he flips over dice to show skulls when I'm not looking. Also, he picks his nose, which is really gross. What should I do?
Thanks,
Guy-Who-Keeps-Having-To-Buy-More-HS in WA
Dear Guy,
You have really asked three questions here. I won't tell you not to do that, but, really, it just goes on and on, doesn't it?
Okay, so first is the issue of the destruction of your stuff when you do damage to his figures (I am assuming the "damage" is in game terms and not that you are bending off arms or anything like that. If you are, then, shame on you, he's allowed to take an arm or leg off of your literal body for that...see my previous remarks about fingers.) He's allowed to shriek. But setting cards on fire or cutting the heads off of your figures? Well, that's right out. Cutting holes in 24 hex pieces is also not kosher. He is allowed, by the rules of the game, to gnaw on Krug, though, as long as no teeth marks are left which might change the target zones on the big green troll. There were a number of Rock 'n' Roll songs in the late 50's and 60's that used the lyrics, "Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, nah!" There was also a great cover-song group "Sha-gnaw-gnaw" with the lead singer named "Bowser."
As to the kitten. That's just wrong. Anyone who kills a kitten is fated to have Marro Warriors cloned in his colon.
Finally...there is the ancient saying (I think it goes back to Heraclitus the Obscure in the early 5th century BCE), "You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose." If it grosses you out that your friend picks his, just remember that it could be worse. He could have piles.
Hope this helps. - Papa -'S.
And, there is this, passed along by LongHser:
Dear Papa-Scape,
My roommate and I both enjoy Heroscape a lot. One day, I walked in on what I thought was a real Nakita Agent. It turned out that it was my roommate wearing white, tight clothes with high heels and wig. My roommate confessed that there were a leather jacket, a gray top and black pants to try as Skahen. Should I be concerned because we are both male?
Dear whomever,
Do not be concerned that you are both male. With modern surgery, that does not have to last long. Just remember, after the operation(s), that Agent Skahen is much nicer than any Nakita. Also, after the operation(s), if you and/or your roommate want a job dancing, I know a good agent or two.
Have fun and remember to wear clean underwear in case of an accident. (Wear clean software too, for the same reasons.) - P S
Finally, one last question, a two-parter:
Dear old dude,
With the terrible situation in the U.S. economy, what should I do with my investment money?
Second: Is that Sarah Palin hot or what?
Signed, Bothered in Boston
Dear B&B,
I recommend putting all of your investment money in HeroScape product. Order as much as you can afford from HouseMouseGames.com or some other reputable merchant. It is better than gold as an appreciable asset.
As to your question, "Is that Sarah Palin hot or what?" Papa-'Scape says, "Yep."
And that's it for this edition of Ask Papa-'Scape. I hope you all had a good time.
There is no Smurf image here...these are not the Smurfs you are looking for...
