Gorthan's Scape Fics: TAKING SUGGESTIONS AGAIN ; PAGE 23!

[gorthan313]

Hey all! I decided to start a fanfiction thread with some fanfics that I have been writing over the past few weeks. I don't think that they are very good, so any constructive criticism would be much appreciated! Alright, here we go with the first one:



Isamu



The three Ninjas of the Northern Wind stalked silently through the forest of Bleakewood. They realized the dire inportance of their mission to Einar's cause. They weren't worried about the Shades of Bleakewood, because the ninja's mission was much more dangerous than just killing shades, if shades could truly die. They were sent to find out more about the newest warrior Utgar had summoned.
Isamu!
The nijas were constantly on the alert for something following them, such as a snapping twig. But they heard nothing. Absolutely nothing. The three had heard rumors about the mysterious Isamu. But no one had ever seen him. No one knew where Utgar had summoned Isamu from. But all in Jandar's, Ullar's, Vydar's, and even Einar's army knew one thing: He was a threat.
Isamu!
He was a highly trained assasin. Not as physically powerful as Krug or Brunak, or as magically adept as Cyprien or Mimring, but he was still a huge threat to the safety of all in Valhalla. Isamu especially enjoyed striking down Jandar troops in the back. There was no doubt about it; Isamu was a born killer. He was a master at the ninja tactic of vanishing, which is why he was rarely seen in full. That is why Einar sent them, the Ninjas of the Northern Wind, to track him down, and possibly put a stop to him.
Isamu!
The lead ninja locked gaze with his companions, and saw from their eyes that they had come to the exact same conclusion that he had come to. Although they could not hear any footsteps, and they could not hear any rustle in the leaves, they had all realized the same thing; they were being tracked!
Isamu!
The leader communicated a silent message to his companions, "Spread out and enter combat mode." The ninjas scanned the trees with their eyes, trying to detect who, or what, was following them. The trio of assasins could feel the sense of evil in the air.
Isamu!
The lead ninja saw a flash of red blur past his vision; then one of his companions slumped to the ground.
Isamu!
He communicated a silent message to his remaining companion, "The red ninja." Then, for a brief instant, caught a brief glimpse of him.
Isamu!
His companion went at Isamu with a maneuver that no one had dodged before.
Isamu!
The red-clad figure dodged the blow easily, then slashed out, lowering the Ninjas of the Nothern Wind roster down to one.
Isamu!
Sweat poured down the leader's face. This opponent was like no other!
Isamu!
But the eyes of Isamu showed no pity.
Isamu!
The last ninja attempted to run Isamu through, but failed.
Isamu!
Isamu sidestepped, and performed an underhanded move that landed his opponent on his back.
Isamu!
As he put his foot on the chest of the last member of the Ninjas of the Northern Wind, the elite assasins of Einar, the eyes of Isamu showed no pity as he performed the killing blow.
Isamu!
And as the ninja died by the hand of the person he was sent to kill, one name rang out in his mind, as a bell tolls the final hour.
Isamu!



Constructive criticism and any thoughts about the story would be much appreciated! ! I also have a James Murphy fanfic and a 3-part Taelord fanfic, which will be posted at a later date!

[Onacara]

Is Isamu one of the Pokemon?

[gorthan313]

Edit: Never mind

[gorthan313]

Well, my take on James Murphy didn't turn out as good as I had originally hoped for, but it definitely turned out better than the last one! It's not as good as some Murphy fanfics that I've read, but here's my take on the character!



Lawman against Law
James Murphy



Thump, Thump, Thump. Johnny 'Shotgun' Sullivan's heart pounded in his chest as he ran through the forest, dodging the bullets and claws of the blastatrons and gladiatrons. Normally he would stop and fight them, but he had another target in mind.
James Murphy: a lawman, but Johnny knew that Murphy couldn't care less about the very thing he was supposed to enforce. Murphy carried a shotgun and a whip, which he used to tie up his foes while he shot them in the head.
"Wonder how a ornery devil like this lit'l cuss git to be a lawman?" Johnny wondered as he continued to flee from his metallic pursuers, "I mean, he ties 'em up, and shoots 'em in the head." Johnny continued, "First McCreech's shady tactics for achieving victory, and now this!" "Well, go with what works, I guess." "But Dan's a good fella, a lit'l daft, but a good fella." Johnny continued, "Well, would you look at that, I'm talkin' to mahself agin."
He blasted away a gladiatron that got to close with his shotgun, exclaiming, "Take that, you scrappy lit'l divil!" Johnny knew that he was to far away to receive any help from Jandar or Ullar. "But that's what one of them solo missions is, I reckon."
He knew that he had to flank Vydar's forces before they blasted Jandar's squad, led by Sgt. Drake Alexander, to pieces. "And they could do it to, with that big ol' tin can Major Q9 in their happy group," Johnny mused.
He turned around to spray a squad of blastatrons with shotgun pellets. "Let's see how yer oh-so-fancy shiny metal armor stands up to good old-fashioned lead!" Johnny cried.
After running for a while longer, Johnny lost the soulborgs. "Now where is that character Murphy?"
Crack!
In answer to his question, Johnny suddenly heard a whip cracking out of the brush. He fell to the ground, his legs tangled in the long whip. His shotgun flew out of his hand. He looked up to see a man standing above him. The man wore a hat much like Johnny's own, a tan vest, tan pants, a shotgun in its holster, and, of course, a whip. He drew his shotgun out of its holster, and leveled it at Johnny.
The strange man said, "Why, you must be the Johnny 'Shotgun' Sullivan whom I've heard so much about."
Click!
"I am called James Murphy."
Bang!




I personally think that this one went better than the last one, but, as always, constructive criticism is much appreciated!

[ABOMINATION]

I like it. Nice short story, great job. Although nowdays Vydar and Jandar are on eachothers team.

[gorthan313]

! I know that. But, I just wanted to shake things up a bit! Plus, my main reason for doing that with this story was to make James first encounter Johnny, who I always pretend is James's archrival. Taelord Part 1 should be up before too long!

[gamjuven]

Originally Posted by Onacara

Is Isamu one of the Pokemon?

Funny you should say that. Royaldoy always screams "I choose you Isamu" whenever he attacks with him.

So yes, he is a pokemon

[gorthan313]

Wow, Taelord part one went quite well for a change!




Only the Strong Survive Pt. I
Taelord the Kyrie Warrior




Shing, Shing, Shing. The sword swiped against the sharpening stone as the mighty Taelord prepared for his biggest gladitorial tournament ever. Taelord wasn't normally the type to ponder about the past, but these past few weeks had been some of the busiest of his life. He had been a part of many different minor tournaments to narrow down the numbers of red-winged kyrie competing for the title of General Utgar's second-in-command.
"Pitiful," Taelord thought to himself about the opponents he had defeated in previous tournaments, "Just pitiful."
He watched his new opponents, all 82 of them, sharpening their swords, axes, polearms, and other assorted weapons. "They have no idea what they are about to face."
Taelord thought to himself about one of the latest happenings; the discovery of the wellsprings.
"Unfortunately that doddering old fool Thormun had to go and reveal the wellsprigs to the other generals: that complete sap Jandar, that airhead Ullar, Einar the dimwit, and Vydar, who is so cowardly that he doesn't even come out and fight the honorable way; out in the open so that the armies of Utgar can cut him to pieces."
In a way, Taelord respected the other generals, as they fought to try in vain to avoid the inevitable; Utgar winning in the end. Taelord liked what was happening because of the wellsprings, as Einar had betrayed Utgar. "So now we have a wider shot selection." Taelord said to himself.
The gong sounded, signalling all of the warriors to enter the arena,
"You warriors have all come here to compete in one final tournament, which will decide who will become Lord Utgar's right-hand kyrie," the announcer for the event said.
"Yes, yes, you fool," Taelord thought to himself, "We all know what is going on here."
"All 83 of you will be a part of an every kyrie for himself battle, and whoever is the last kyrie standiing will claim the victory," the announcer continued.
While the announcer was speaking, Taelord quickly scanned the field for who his closest opponent was, and slowly moved toward that target, waiting for the signal to start the combat.





Part 2 will be up soon! (Hopefully)!

[gorthan313]

Ok, I don't know if anyone has read Taelord part 1 yet, but here is part 2!





Only the Strong Survive Pt. II
Taelord the Kyrie Warrior




"And now, the announcer said, "BEGIN!"
Taelord knew not to just concentrate on noe opponent in an event like this, because you never knew who was sneaking up on you. Just before he unleashed a downward stroke on the foe in front of him, a sixth sense activated, and he instead used a whirling maneuver that ended in an arc, thus decapitating four of his foes.
A minion came charging at Taelord with his flail swinging, but Taelord sidestepped, and said to the minion, "I'm not your enemy." But that group over there called you an idiot, which I know you aren't, so go over there and beat them up!" Taelord said.
"NOBODY CALLS ME AN IDIOT!" the enraged creature yelled as he charged in, flail swinging.
"Idiot," Taelord said behing his back.
Taelord looked up into the audience rows, and first saw the beautiful red kyrie Runa. Taelord didn't care if Runa thought very highly of him, which was good, because he would have been dissapointed. Taelord also saw the marro warlord Ne-Gok-Sa.
"One day I want to give that smug vermin exactly what he deserves," Taelord thought to himself.
He heard the voice of the warlord inside his head, "That's nice, little kyrie." "Now run along and play!"
The orc Grimnak was also in the audience, guffawing every single time blood was spilled, "HAW, HAW, HAW!" "THAT'S FUNNY!" "THAT GUY GOT HIS HEAD SMASHED IN!" "LOOK! THAT GUY IS SNEAKING UP ON THE GUY WITH THE BIG SWORD, PREPARING TO STAB HIM STRAIGHT THROUGH THE HEAD!" "HAW, HAW, HAW!"
Something in what the orc said triggered Taelord's sixth sense, so he whirled around with his sword, and heard a cry of pain.
"If people ask me later," Taelord thought, "I'll tell them that I was not alerted to a danger by an orc, because that would ruin my reputation."
Taelord grabbed the dying creature, who was still waving his axe around, flew up into the air with him, spotted a group of opponents, and dropped his charge into them.
Taelord smirked as he watched the dying minion flail about, and mortally wound many other minions.
Whatever minions were still alive after that were struck dead as Taelord swooped in on them. Taelord then noticed with satisfaction that the numbers of the living on the battlefield were thinning out.
Taelord felt a sharp pain in his shoulder, turned around, and saw a kyrie with a spiked club preparing to hit him again.
"Naughty, naughty, naughty," Taelord remonstrated, "That wasn't very nice."
Taelord flew up behind the assailant. "But, then again, neither is doing this," Taelord said as he turned the minion into two half-minions, "So we're even, but now you're dead."
As Taelord smote down the last remaining opponent, he looked up at General Utgar, who said, "Interesting, Very Interesting."
The announcer flew up above the arena, and said in a loud voice, "The victory belongs to the mighty Taelord!"
Taelord looked up into the stands. He saw Runa smirk slightly, Ne-Gok-Sa grinning, but, of course, he was always grinning, Utgar raised an eyebrow, and Grimnak guffawed.
"Does that orc ever stop laughing at a tournament when blood is spilled?" Taelord wondered. But Taelord didn't care. He had WON!!




Parts 1 and 2 are done, and Part 3 should be done before too long! Once again, any constructive criticism is wanted! Unfortunately, I found an excellent font for NGS called Bank Gothic, but that type of font, while it is available on the Microsoft Word Document for this story, it isn't available here. Oh well, off to start work on Part 3! !

[ABOMINATION]

It's pretty good, but I liked the other two stories a little more. Great job though!

[gorthan313]

Funny that you should say that, because I personally like this one the best! Glad my other stories went over well though! Also, I don't know if you are like this ABOMINATION, but I have this wierd thing where I will get a vague idea for a story, and sometimes my stories will go as planned and go all wrong, or they will get out of hand and turn out better than I originally expected! Or, sometimes, the exact opposite happens....wierd...

[ABOMINATION]

That's exactly what happens to me! Coincidence, I think not.