Battles of Valhalla

[Bro-man]

Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend

Another great chapter! Just how good of a writer you can be is beginning to sink in. One thing I noticed, there is no such thing as a fourth degree burn. Not being a medical expert or anything, I could be wrong, but I believe there are only three degrees. First, which burns the epidermis; second, which burns the dermis; and third, which burns the subcutis.
The scene where Drake tries to pick Parker up was also really good. A little graphic, but the detail only adds to it, in a... disturbing sort of way.
Great chapter, keep them coming!
~TGRF.

Hey thanks for that TGRF. I had to look online for burn degrees and found that there is fourth degree burn where it is black and the skin is not alive anymore. People would have to cut the limp of the burn, its that bad. Had to put some thought into what I wanted to say so that it would work out. Thanks again and another chapter will be coming up soon, plus I'll have my story for the Contest ready as well. Stay tuned for both of them.

Oh and this maybe my three hundred post to the page. Thats great!

[The Grim Reaper's Friend]

Originally Posted by Bro-man

Hey thanks for that TGRF. I had to look online for burn degrees and found that there is fourth degree burn where it is black and the skin is not alive anymore. People would have to cut the limp of the burn, its that bad. Had to put some thought into what I wanted to say so that it would work out. Thanks again and another chapter will be coming up soon, plus I'll have my story for the Contest ready as well. Stay tuned for both of them.

Oh and this maybe my three hundred post to the page. Thats great!

Huh, that's interesting. Fourth degree burns, you say? I would say I'd check that out, but given the topic, perhaps I'll pass. I look forward to both your stories!
~TGRF.

[Bro-man]

So anyway I got some college work to do so I won't be posting but I think I can give a chapter later on. Don't worry everyone this chapter will be done in good time.

Oh and TGRF. What are your thoughts on the Deathwalker '6000' unit that I had last part? Did it stood out to you in a way or something like that?

What are your thoughts?

[The Grim Reaper's Friend]

Originally Posted by Bro-man

So anyway I got some college work to do so I won't be posting but I think I can give a chapter later on. Don't worry everyone this chapter will be done in good time.

Oh and TGRF. What are your thoughts on the Deathwalker '6000' unit that I had last part? Did it stood out to you in a way or something like that?

What are your thoughts?

Hmm. I like how he fitted in with the other deathwalkers, like an earlier prototype. One thing that I didn't mention before, however, was how his words stood out. As I was reading, I found my eyes constantly drifting down to the huge, bolded words whenever the DW spoke. Then I would have to go back up to where I left off, with a pretty good sense of what was going to happen.
Instead of relying on font sizes and bold script, you might want to describe the voice instead. (Example: A thunderous metallic voice that echoed in my head) That way, there aren't any huge letters diverting the reader's attention.
~TGRF.

[Bro-man]

Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend

Hmm. I like how he fitted in with the other deathwalkers, like an earlier prototype. One thing that I didn't mention before, however, was how his words stood out. As I was reading, I found my eyes constantly drifting down to the huge, bolded words whenever the DW spoke. Then I would have to go back up to where I left off, with a pretty good sense of what was going to happen.
Instead of relying on font sizes and bold script, you might want to describe the voice instead. (Example: A thunderous metallic voice that echoed in my head) That way, there aren't any huge letters diverting the reader's attention.
~TGRF.

Oh alright I'll have to look into that. So the Deathwalker '6000' would be a prototype then? I was thinkning with a more of a line unit like the '9000' unit and the Zettian guards. Anyway what about design wise. Did I describe well on how it looked or did I not do enough?

Thanks for the input and the next chapter will be soon.

[The Grim Reaper's Friend]

Originally Posted by Bro-man

Oh alright I'll have to look into that. So the Deathwalker '6000' would be a prototype then? I was thinkning with a more of a line unit like the '9000' unit and the Zettian guards. Anyway what about design wise. Did I describe well on how it looked or did I not do enough?

Thanks for the input and the next chapter will be soon.

I'm not an expert on Alpha Prime production, but it seems to me that he would be an earlier DW design, before they came up with 7000.
To tell you the truth, the only picture of DW 6000 I have in my mind is of something roughly along the build of 7000, with clawed hands, and probably some sort of flamethrower arm. He could probably use a bit more description.
~TGRF.

[Bro-man]

Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend

I'm not an expert on Alpha Prime production, but it seems to me that he would be an earlier DW design, before they came up with 7000.
To tell you the truth, the only picture of DW 6000 I have in my mind is of something roughly along the build of 7000, with clawed hands, and probably some sort of flamethrower arm. He could probably use a bit more description.
~TGRF.

OK think like its a just has the shape as the 9000. But with the arms instead of the guns. The size is smaller just like the 7000 but its speed is reduce. Bulkier slow armor, but strong attacks and wide field of berth. I imagined that it would be a 'Find the nest, burn it out' type of unit. That is what I was thinking for the 6000.

The 9000 is all around unit with heavy guns. However reguires fire support from its two body guards.

The 8000 unit has more range but less firepower.

The 7000 unit is a moving bomb and fast speed but lack of armor.

And the 6000 unit would be search and destroy with heavy armor but reduced speed.

Anyway I'm not sure what other details I can give of what I think about them, but what do you think of them now?

[The Grim Reaper's Friend]

Yeah, looks good. I was referring to when you write about him in the story, you might want to have some more description. Don't necessarily take a paragraph and describe his appearance, though. Use descriptive adjectives when describing what he does, adjectives that convey how he looks, and the reader will usually get the idea.
Example:
Instead of:

He grabbed Parker and began to burn him.

You could perhaps have:

He grabbed Parker in one of his massive clawed hands, lifting him off of the ground easily. As he held him high in the air, oblivious to his struggles, a jet of flame shot out from a tube running along his arm. The flame continued to burn Parker, its orange tongues leaping greedily out from the black mouth of the tube.

That gives the impression more of his strength than anything else, but you get the idea. Adjectives can be a great help.
~TGRF.

[Bro-man]

Hey guys I know its been awhile now but I had to deal with finals and school and whatnot but anyway. I will be getting back to work on this soon so don't worry this story will come to an end very soon.

[Bro-man]

Alright I have the new chapter up, after a brief hiatus I can finally get back to my story. The chapters are wrapping up and the story will finish soon. Alright enought talk, here is the next chapter.

"Previously on Battles of Valhalla. Drake manages to destroy Deathwalker, the remaining troops began to push back but the enemy sends wave after wave of enemies against their ranks. While his troops fight on Drake deals with the loss of one of his friends."

Spoiler Alert!

A Hero Stands Tall: Chapter 39 {Part 2/2)

The last of Parker's breath escapes from him and he dies in my arms. I settled him down on the ground and gently placed his head on its side. I lifted my hand over his face and closed his eyes. I could only stare at him and tried to imagine the Parker I knew before. But as I continue to look at him the cold harsh reality settles in. I looked away from Parker and felt bile in the pt of my stomach, I was wanting to throw up right then and there but I held it in. After the moment passed I felt my throat dry and sore.

"Alexander Commander!"

I heard the lead Omnicron yell. I looked up and some of the Omnicron units were being attacked by the spear wielding creatures. A few got passed and one was screaming its head off and was coming straight at me. I stood up but the creature was already ten feet away, a full on charge coming straight at me. I raised my hand forward and grabbed the creatures spear. The spear stopped its motion but the creature kept moving forward. I backpeddled and the creature kept its momentum. I went to grab my gun but I felt myself fallling backwards. Without noticing I tripped over a dead corpse. I began to fall to the ground and the creature kept coming at me, the spear getting even closer. I waved my hand on its side to avoid hitting me. I landed hard and the spear grazed my side and I cringed from the pain. The spear broke at its tip when it ran into the ground. The creature landed onto me and quickly recovered. It lunged its hands on my neck and began to choke me. I placed my hands on his arms to get it off but it kept going. I needed to reach for my gun but it was underneath me. The creature added more pressure and my vision began to turn black. Red and blue light was dancing around in my eyes and I was losing consciousness. I then felt the spears blade next to me and I immediately went for it. I felt the spear tip around my hand and I lunged it into the creatures cone shaped head. I stabbed it onto its left side but it didn't seem to faze it. I stabbed again and got it to shake its head away but it continued to get a hold of my neck. I lunged a third and felt the spear go deep into its cone head. It cried out and I felt the pressure on my neck lift off. I pulled the spear blade and the creature was thrown onto its back on my right side. As he fell I rolled onto him and I was on top. My vision clear the creature continued to cry out, grabbing my hand and trying to get the spear out of its head. I went for my gun and aimed straight at its head. The creature lunged its hand at me and I shoved the gun down its mouth. The creature yelled out once more and I pulled the trigger. The creatures head snapped back and hit the ground hard. Blood splattered around its head and its body was motionless. I left the blade and stood up from my kill. My body was covered in mud and blood that was not my own. I whirled around and spotted the last few enemies that got through. I fired away taking each individual down. Once they fell the Omnicrons filled the gap and continued to lay fire into the oncoming horde of enemies. I checked my pistol and loaded back up. Once finished I placed the gun behind my back and went to retrieve my sword.

"Commander! The enemy continues to advance! We must regroup and continue our assault!" The lead Omnicron cried out as he and his fellow Omnicrons began to move slowly back towards me. I grabbed my sword and turned to face them. However I stopped midway when I caught the sight of the Minutemen. I turned to them and they were starring straight at Parker. At least three dozen set of eyes were all focused on him while a few others were looking at me or starring off in the distance. They were all deathly still and were silent, only a few twiddleed their fingers while others only fingered their weapons. They were all in disbelief. I was not sure if it was for the death of their friend or me killing the Deathwalker that caught their attention but I guess it was because of something else. The battle continued on behind me and the Omnicrons moved further back against the omcoming horde. I looked back the men and realized what was bothering them. They were all in shell shock. I didn't realize it before but after what they went through till now as made the unprepared for this kind of fight. They all knew what to do during the war that they fought back home but here they had to adapt to their surroundings. The enemies they would know how to face but these machines and creatures are something completly new to them. They were not fit to fight in this war and I knew it. I didn't know what I could say to snap them back out. If only-

An explosion rocketed my ears and disrupted my chain of thought. I saw the Deathwalker "9000" units and their small counterparts moving toward the main line of men, firing away at any of them that got in their way. I took a step forward but stopped myself and turned back to the minutemen. They continue to stare out and were unresponsive. I looked down and thought for a moment of what I could say. I turned back to Parker's body and he remained still, undisturbed by all the war and carnage that surrounds him. Then a thought hit me. It was simple but risky. I turn back to the men and cleared my throat.

"Men. I'm going to stop those Deathwalkers."

That got their attention. As soon as I said those words all of the men turned their gaze straight at me, a few began to murmur but most kept their attention on me. I took a deep breath and sighed for a moment.

"Men you will not come with me. I will do this alone. I will not ask you to join me."

The men looked at me and few looked at each other, confusion was etched into their faces but others were silent and waited for me to continue.

"I have seen you go through hell already. What I'm about to do will be much harder. I will not ask you to do the something that I would not do."

The men turned to me and their mouths were wide open. Some even came out of the stupor that they were in.

"I will tell you now. Do not think to let yourselves be pulled down by your own fear and doubt. Every man here is worth to me as a brother! Everyman is worthy of being my friend! You are all cabaple men and I will not let that talent go to waste! I will not allow another brave man here die today. Stay here! Stay safe! That is what parker would have wanted for all of you!"

I finished and many were starstrucked. They all starred at me, the confusion for my words were gone and now filled with admiration. Before any of them could reply I whirled around and began heading straight for the Deathwalkers. I passed the Omnicrons and bumped passed several of the strange creatures that passed me by. When I was in the clear it was a straight path to the death machines. Behind me I could hear the Omnicrons yell out my name, but I ignored them and pressed on.

"Alexander commander!"

Hey that is the end of this chapter. A bit shorter then the other ones I make but I will get to the best parts soon. More chapters are on the way hope you enjoyed and next chapter will be up shortly.

[The Grim Reaper's Friend]

AHH! Cliffhanger! I can't think what he's about to do, unless it involves Nilfheim or something. Can't wait for the next chapter.
~TGRF.