I Have a Problem

[Alex Karasavidis]

Try not to laugh first time I'm trying to explain my trouble.

Here's the most recent example of my problem on a beach in Greece I met this one German girl around my age she was looking at me and I was looking at her. The trouble is that I didn't go over and talk to her because I was to nervous. Now that is upsetting me all I have now is a memory.

The story above is one of many problems similar. When I walk I always look at the ground. When I talk to different people I don't know really well I look everywhere else except in there eyes. Those things are beginning to bother me. So if you guys have any helpful suggestions on how to stop those problems.

Thanks ahead for the support,
ALEX

[Rexmax2]

Originally Posted by Alex Karasavidis

Try not to laugh first time I'm trying to explain my trouble.

Here's the most recent example of my problem on a beach in Greece I met this one German girl around my age she was looking at me and I was looking at her. The trouble is that I didn't go over and talk to her because I was to nervous. Now that is upsetting me all I have now is a memory.

The story above is one of many problems similar. When I walk I always look at the ground. When I talk to different people I don't know really well I look everywhere else except in there eyes. Those things are beginning to bother me. So if you guys have any helpful suggestions on how to stop those problems.

Thanks ahead for the support,
ALEX

I think the best thing would be to just do it. Go out on the street and practice on people you walk by. Just say hello or wave, but make eye contact. When you are ready to go into a full conversation, DONT start with a cheesy weather comment. Try to let them be the conversation starter if possible.

Now if you are trying to talk to a girl I cant help you there

[Raider30]

Originally Posted by Alex Karasavidis

Try not to laugh first time I'm trying to explain my trouble.

Here's the most recent example of my problem on a beach in Greece I met this one German girl around my age she was looking at me and I was looking at her. The trouble is that I didn't go over and talk to her because I was to nervous. Now that is upsetting me all I have now is a memory.

The story above is one of many problems similar. When I walk I always look at the ground. When I talk to different people I don't know really well I look everywhere else except in there eyes. Those things are beginning to bother me. So if you guys have any helpful suggestions on how to stop those problems.

Thanks ahead for the support,
ALEX

Try to identify why you don't look up and why you didn't go talk to the girl. In the case of the girl is it because you were nervous about what she'd say back, or that she wouldn't show any interest in you?

Honestly, the best time to jump in is especially when you likely won't see the person again. I mean really, if you go up and put yourself out there to someone that you might only know for an afternoon and it goes bad, who cares, that person is gone. It's a lot easier to try new things and step out of your comfort zone if you know that should you get embarrassed that in a short while the embarrassment stops because you are out of the situation and don't have to see the person/people again.

So if you get rejected by a girl at school or the office, that person you have to see again regularly so if you are a bit shy/nervous about that sort of thing(and lots of people are, and lots of people aren't) it might make you more hesitant about taking that first step. But a girl on the beach? Nah, that's no problem. If she's not interested, poof she's gone and there's no worry about awkward situations later. Make sense?

As far as talking with people...that's easy. Most people like to talk about themselves, it's a subject they are comfortable with for one thing. So the German girl, lots of choices of conversation there - Where are you from? How long will you be in town? Is this your first time to Greece? Are you here with anyone? How do you like Greek food? Have you been to any of the local ruins/museums/etc.?

Like the man said - you've just got to do it. It's kind of like standing on a diving board or on the edge of a cliff about to rappel, you just have to psyche up and take that first step. Once you've got past that point you are in motion and then you are golden.

- Raider30

[Alex Karasavidis]

Thanks for the advice I'll try it!

[Heroscape Elffy]

Also, if you don't feel comfortable looking them in the eyes, just look at their nose. It's close enough to their eyes that most people can't tell you're looking an inch down, and it still gives the perception that you're looking them in the eye.

[Sir Yeshua]

Originally Posted by Heroscape Elffy

Also, if you don't feel comfortable looking them in the eyes, just look at their nose. It's close enough to their eyes that most people can't tell you're looking an inch down, and it still gives the perception that you're looking them in the eye.

Or the Eyebrows!

[weebaer]

You can start practicing looking at people in the eyes now though. When you talk to people you know and aren't nervous about look them in the eye.

Looking people in the eye is a powerful conversation tool. Eyes can be extremely expressive.

I would advise you to just start small. Look at one person in the eye each day. Don't look away and wuss out. The entire time you talk/listen to them look into their eyes.

Once you start doing it once a day it will feel easier and more comfortable. Yu will probably hate it at first, but in the long term I think you will find it incredibly helpful in face to face interactions.

[Foudzing]

I would council you to start an activity that would make feel more comfortable in public: music, theater etc...

Something to express yourself in public.

Or try to work on your appearance (sports, work-out, fashion etc...) so you're more confident in yourself.

Instruments like guitar help with girls too, but it's a bit cliché.