David: “Set your GPS devices for fun, Sports Fans! We have one more freeway battle, and Sock Puppet joins me in the broadcast van along with Pam.”
Sock Puppet: “Ready to assist, David! The vehicles have been fueled and are heading down the freeway at top speed!”
Pam: “There was that one incident when the tan car tore through a Sonic Drive-In hoping to pick up one of their slushes.”
David: “Those give me brain freeze.”
Pam: “You can pinch the bridge of your nose to relief that pain.”
David: “I saw that on television and tried it. I still have brain freeze, but my nose hurts.”
Pam: “You’re weird.”
Sock Puppet: “Perhaps these Route 44 Cherry Limeaids will hit the spot!”
David: “Oooo, I love those. Gimme!”
Pam: “I prefer water, thank you.”
David: “I’m getting a text. Hee, Bob is yelling at us for not drinking Burt’s Beer. I suppose we should do something for our sponsor.”
Sock Puppet: “I’m way ahead of you, David. Check out these beer soaked brats I grilled.”
Pam: “Those are brats? They’re awfully flat to be bratwursts.”
Sock Puppet: “I know. I soaked them in Burt’s Beer.”
David, Pam, and Sock Puppet: “Hahahahaha--- ahhhhhhhhh.”
Pam: “David, you’ve got another text.”
David: “It’s from Bob, but I can’t read it aloud while we’re on the air.”
Off-camera announcer: “Summer is here, so enjoy your bratwursts soaked in the flat brew of Burt’s Beer. Burt’s Beer: Chillin’ while grillin’ with Burt’s will require penicillin.”
Sock Puppet: “Summer???”
Team Rhino vs. Team Emma Frost
Spoiler Alert!
Round 1
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon impersonates Rhino. Emma Frost starts with the Diamond Marker on her card.”
Pam: “Rhino and Hydro-Man are going to need to take the roof of that 18-Wheeler.”
David: “Mirror Master and Rhino have their cars approach the 18-Wheeler, and they both take to the roof of their cars.”
Sock Puppet: “Mirror Master climbs to the roof of the 18-Wheeler and fires down on Rhino. No damage.”
Pam: “Rhino attacks the 18-Wheeler hoping to knock down Mirror Master, but no damage.”
David: “Rhino’s car spins backwards. Chameleon’s car pulls behind the 18-Wheeler for a shot at Hydro-Man’s car ahead. Hydro-Man takes to the roof of his car.”
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon fires at the silver car, but the bullets just bounce off.”
Pam: “Hydro-Man takes to the roof of the 18-Wheeler and steps towards Mirror Master for a ranged strike. It’s 3 skulls, but Mirror Master pops away with Mirror Mirage.”
David: “Rhino climbs back into his tan car.”
Sock Puppet: “Emma removes the Diamond Marker so she can attack Rhino with her Psychic Proxy attack. Rhino blocks.”
Pam: “Hydro-Man strikes Mirror Master. It’s another Mirror Mirage.”
Round 2
David: “The silver car slams into Emma’s car to inflict a wound (3 left). Rhino climbs to the hood of his car.”
Pam: “Rhino takes to the roof of the 18-Wheeler, then does a Rhino Charge towards Mirror Master for 3 spaces. It’s another Mirror Mirage, but Rhino avoids taking damage from the miss.”
Sock Puppet: “Mirror Master selects Rhino for Through the Looking Glass, and places him on the road. The tan car pulls back to pick him up. Mirror Master strikes Hydro-Man and inflicts a wound (4 left).”
David: “The silver car slams into Emma’s car and lands a wound (2 left). Rhino’s car returns.”
Pam: “Hydro-Man strikes Mirror Master and finds the actual guy to inflict 2 wounds (2 left).”
Sock Puppet: “Mirror Master strikes Hyrdro-Man, but it’s blocked.”
David: “Rhino climbs to the hood of his car.”
Pam: “Rhino takes to the roof of the 18-Wheeler and charges towards Mirror Master. It’s another Mirage, and Rhino takes a wound (5 left)!”
Sock Puppet: “Emma sits in her car and attacks Rhino with her Psychic Proxy. Rhino takes a wound (4 left).”
Round 3
Pam: “Rhino snorts angrily and strikes Mirror Master. He breaks the Mirror with 2 wounds for a KO! (and seven years bad luck)”
Sock Puppet: “Mirror Master loses a turn.”
David: “Emma’s car has to pull around the 18-Wheeler and loses her Psychic range on the other team! She climbs to the trunk of her car. The yellow car slams into the black car, but the yellow car takes damage (3 left).”
Pam: “Hydro-Man steps to the front of the truck and fires down at Emma. She isn’t in Diamond Form and takes 2 wounds (3 left).”
Sock Puppet: “Emma takes Diamond Form and takes to the top of the trucks cab to strike up at Hydro-Man. It’s a weak 1 skull, but Hydro-Man whiffs defense to take a wound (3 left).”
David: “Chameleon’s car takes damage trying to ram the tan car (3 left).”
Pam: “Rhino charges towards Emma, who is in Diamond Form. It’s 6 skulls against a whiffed defense for KO!”
Sock Puppet: “Emma loses a turn.”
Round 4
David: “The yellow car pulls next to the 18-Wheeler as Hydro-Man and Rhino reposition on the roof of the truck. With Chameleon having longer range, the other team is simply going to have to take to the cars to get him.”
Pam: “Rhino jumps down onto the roof of the yellow car. Chameleon is still impersonating Hydro-Man, so Rhino can’t really attack him.”
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon fires at Rhino. Rhino blocks.”
David: “Hydro-Man jumps onto the trunk of the yellow car.”
Pam: “Hydro-Man jumps over to the hood of Chameleon’s car and fires down into the car at Chameleon. It’s 2 wet wounds (2 left).”
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon hopes to frame Hydro-Man by firing at Rhino. It’s a perfect 3 skulls against a whiffed defense for 2 wounds (2 left). Rhino’s Tough blocked one of those skulls. That Frames Hydro-Man, and Hydro-Man loses his Order Markers!”
David: “The black car slams hard into the tan car and inflicts 2 wounds (2 left). Chameleon’s car spins out of control and pulls back out of Rhino’s range.”
Pam: “Hydro-Man loses a turn.”
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon fires up at Hydro-Man, but whiffs.”
Round 5
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon switches form to impersonate Rhino. Now Hydro-Man can’t attack him!”
David: “Hydro-Man climbs into Chameleon’s car. Rhino moves to the trunk of the yellow car.”
Pam: “Rhino jumps to the hood of the purple car.”
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon strikes Hydro-Man and inflicts a wound (2 left). Rhino is Framed!!!”
Pam: “Rhino loses a turn.”
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon strikes Hydro-Man.”
David: “Rhino jumps onto the hood of the tan car.”
Pam: “Hydro-Man can’t attack.”
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon attacks Hydro-Man to no avail.”
Round 6
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon delivers 2 wounds on Hydro-Man for KO! That removes Rhino’s Order Markers, and Chameleon has the rest of the round to himself.”
David: “The cars move along. However, as much as Chameleon’s car tried to pull closer to Rhino’s car, he simply couldn’t close in.”
Round 7
David: “All other cars decide to pull out of the way for the final showdown between Rhino and Chameleon. Rhino takes to the trunk of his car.”
Sock Puppet: “Chameleon fires up at Rhino, but misses.”
Pam: “Rhino jumps to the trunk of Chameleon’s car and smashes down at Chameleon. It’s a KO, and Rhino’s team prevails.”
David: “Wow! Rhino’s team was simply out of their element in this bizarre freeway setting, and they faced a wicked opposition that did their best to exploit it. Nevertheless, Rhino advances in the tourney, and we're leaving this freeway!”
Bracket Updated