Terminal Illness
Posted May 30th, 2012 at 12:53 PM by Sylvano the Wasabus
I guess I’m creepy.
I was flying back from Sudury on Porter airlines. They’re small planes, about sixty passengers-kind of fun really. But no one would sit beside me. The first who had the ticket for the seat next to me was a middle aged woman. She saw me and asked immediately to be moved. It was as if I was blatantly repulsive. I guess I know how the Marr feel when they fly...
The next was an attractive middle aged woman who immediately asked if there were any other seats and then stood at the back until everyone had boarded. There was another seat, and my repulsiveness gave me some extra room and privacy.
I’m not really bothered by it. At first I was surprised and a little shocked (I might look hopeless but I thought not too scary) but then I was amused and just enjoyed the benefits...
Soon we were up in the air and then into the clouds. I was very happy to be going home. Even though I was presently in the clouds, job hunting in Sudbury hadn’t been the uplifting experience I had hoped. I don’t want to go there. I’m used to walking on flat streets, not ones that go up and down too. I just don't have the legs for it.
I have always found flying fascinating. As a child I never imagined that I could be up in the sky, above the clouds and still alive. But everyone around me, the seasoned travellers I suppose, are bored. They read. They snore. They gargle with the most annoying small talk.
We pulled into the terminal in Toronto where I had to switch planes and that’s where the real fun started.
Porter is a new airline so the terminal was newer too. It was smaller sized, sort of loungy, built for perhaps 300 people. But there were already 500 folks in it when I got there. Nowhere to sit down. All the big arrival and departure screens were blank. Planes sitting on the runway. Tension hanging.
And then I heard the announcement, which I was to hear repeated every ten minutes for the next several hours.
“Our internet connection is down so we cannot update our flights or post arrivals and departures. All flights are currently on hold. Our IT department is currently working on the problem and we expect it to be fixed shortly.”
Interesting, I thought. The internet stops planes. I did a slow walk through of the terminal. Lots of bored and tired looking people. Mostly business attire, then some seniors, a few touristy travellers and one really hot chick. Oh and me, the creepy guy you don’t want to sit next to.
I suppose I could have used this recently discovered super power to get myself a seat, but I didn’t. Instead I went and stood by this newspaper area with about ten other guys. I had a good view of the whole terminal there and I could also see behind the desk where the airline employees were. I could even see the guy making the announcement every ten minutes.
I guess I was being too nosy because people began to stare at me, so I tried not to look like I was watching everyone. If people stared at me too long I used my creepy power to make them look away.
More announcements passed. Soon there were about 700 people in the terminal. I had been joined in my standing spot my lots of young men who didn’t know where else to stand. I wondered if there was a social breakdown and we had to live in the terminal forever if we’d be the ones who’d take control. The newspaper men.
1000 people. I’m sure the air conditioning was working but there were just too many people. I began to think strange thoughts like “I’m breathing the same air in and out that has been in these other people’s lungs.” It didn’t matter to me that much, though I wondered about the continued oxygen content. I also wondered how they liked breathing air that had been in the creepy guys lungs?
In the chaired areas there were – coffee tables- they looked sturdy and I thought it would be a good idea to clear them off and use them as benches. But then I decided not to. Let a leader arise from elsewhere. I was going to be a watcher, a scientist; I would observe this strange species in a time of turmoil, in one of their own artificial environments.
1200 people. Tourists in their 60’s began to crowd us men standing by the newspapers. A few independent souls had broken the first behaviour barrier and sat on the floor. No one yet had thought of the coffee table benches. Old touristy men began to stand too close to me, sometimes their legs and big wallets in their big back pockets bumping up against my legs. Come on guys, give me a break!
Behind the counter the staff, which seemed to have been enjoying this for the most part, began to go a little squirrelly. The announcement maker man started screwing up his announcement and putting his head down on his desk. People who were standing were beginning to sway. And those who'd been lucky enough to have a seat held on to them guiltily, staring at all the old, female and infirm still standing.
And then suddenly the really hot chick decided to walk through the terminal. She had all the correct gear, clothing, and equipment for her stereotype and for a few brief minutes no male thought about anything else. It was a strange interlude, but certainly a welcome refreshment. But you know what? She couldn’t make the internet work, the planes fly and no one gave her a seat. We had reached the limit of hotness as a super power.
1400 people. I saw the first move happening. I will still watching everyone like a thief. A man with a look that strongly said “I don’t care what any of you think” cleared off the first coffee table bench and moved it into a clear spot for his wife to sit. He looked very pleased with himself and I smiled at him. But no one else dared. What a foolish species!
More time passed, more people arrived, and I was getting tired of standing. I had begun sweating and I was getting really annoyed at the old men and their big bum wallets. Was it some kind of a trap? I’d had enough people watching, enough staff watching and so I grabbed a newspaper and headed towards the bathroom. There was a clear area in the hallway leading to the restrooms so I plunked myself down and read a little news.
More time and more people later much of the floor is covered with sitting people. I’m still not bored yet though. The paper is mildly interesting and the people are more interesting now that I don’t have to stand anymore. To be honest I’m getting kind of sleepy- perhaps the oxygen content in the air is getting really low. We'll all lie down, fall asleep peacefully and die. Where was that really hot chick? I'd like to lie down and die next to her.
And then suddenly the announcement "the computers are back on". There is a little polite clapping but that's all. I think everyone is tired. We had all resigned to wait.
What a strange experience. I wish I played guitar or sang and could have led everyone in a sing-along. Or done some kind of weird dance. Or played Scape! Entertained them, made them laugh, brought them somewhere else. I am disappointed in all of us. So caught up in our little lives that even when we are stranded and trapped we simply just wait- go on hold- screen saver mode- until we can begin where we left off. But what if this had been a train station and we were going to Dachau? I have done much reading about such things and while some hid and fought many others simply lined up and waited for the train. There is a limit to what people can take. Most of us are sheep.
The staff behind the desk are incredibly busy now, rebooking seats and tying together frayed itineraries. I get in a long line and eventually board a small plane and go up into the clouds again.
We're flying quickly but I recognize my neighbourhood when we pass over it. Couldn't spot my house though.
Funny species, humans. We can fly above the clouds or wait forever, cattle like, in a terminal. But it’s all just waiting for the next thing.
I was flying back from Sudury on Porter airlines. They’re small planes, about sixty passengers-kind of fun really. But no one would sit beside me. The first who had the ticket for the seat next to me was a middle aged woman. She saw me and asked immediately to be moved. It was as if I was blatantly repulsive. I guess I know how the Marr feel when they fly...
The next was an attractive middle aged woman who immediately asked if there were any other seats and then stood at the back until everyone had boarded. There was another seat, and my repulsiveness gave me some extra room and privacy.
I’m not really bothered by it. At first I was surprised and a little shocked (I might look hopeless but I thought not too scary) but then I was amused and just enjoyed the benefits...
Soon we were up in the air and then into the clouds. I was very happy to be going home. Even though I was presently in the clouds, job hunting in Sudbury hadn’t been the uplifting experience I had hoped. I don’t want to go there. I’m used to walking on flat streets, not ones that go up and down too. I just don't have the legs for it.
I have always found flying fascinating. As a child I never imagined that I could be up in the sky, above the clouds and still alive. But everyone around me, the seasoned travellers I suppose, are bored. They read. They snore. They gargle with the most annoying small talk.
We pulled into the terminal in Toronto where I had to switch planes and that’s where the real fun started.
Porter is a new airline so the terminal was newer too. It was smaller sized, sort of loungy, built for perhaps 300 people. But there were already 500 folks in it when I got there. Nowhere to sit down. All the big arrival and departure screens were blank. Planes sitting on the runway. Tension hanging.
And then I heard the announcement, which I was to hear repeated every ten minutes for the next several hours.
“Our internet connection is down so we cannot update our flights or post arrivals and departures. All flights are currently on hold. Our IT department is currently working on the problem and we expect it to be fixed shortly.”
Interesting, I thought. The internet stops planes. I did a slow walk through of the terminal. Lots of bored and tired looking people. Mostly business attire, then some seniors, a few touristy travellers and one really hot chick. Oh and me, the creepy guy you don’t want to sit next to.
I suppose I could have used this recently discovered super power to get myself a seat, but I didn’t. Instead I went and stood by this newspaper area with about ten other guys. I had a good view of the whole terminal there and I could also see behind the desk where the airline employees were. I could even see the guy making the announcement every ten minutes.
I guess I was being too nosy because people began to stare at me, so I tried not to look like I was watching everyone. If people stared at me too long I used my creepy power to make them look away.
More announcements passed. Soon there were about 700 people in the terminal. I had been joined in my standing spot my lots of young men who didn’t know where else to stand. I wondered if there was a social breakdown and we had to live in the terminal forever if we’d be the ones who’d take control. The newspaper men.
1000 people. I’m sure the air conditioning was working but there were just too many people. I began to think strange thoughts like “I’m breathing the same air in and out that has been in these other people’s lungs.” It didn’t matter to me that much, though I wondered about the continued oxygen content. I also wondered how they liked breathing air that had been in the creepy guys lungs?
In the chaired areas there were – coffee tables- they looked sturdy and I thought it would be a good idea to clear them off and use them as benches. But then I decided not to. Let a leader arise from elsewhere. I was going to be a watcher, a scientist; I would observe this strange species in a time of turmoil, in one of their own artificial environments.
1200 people. Tourists in their 60’s began to crowd us men standing by the newspapers. A few independent souls had broken the first behaviour barrier and sat on the floor. No one yet had thought of the coffee table benches. Old touristy men began to stand too close to me, sometimes their legs and big wallets in their big back pockets bumping up against my legs. Come on guys, give me a break!
Behind the counter the staff, which seemed to have been enjoying this for the most part, began to go a little squirrelly. The announcement maker man started screwing up his announcement and putting his head down on his desk. People who were standing were beginning to sway. And those who'd been lucky enough to have a seat held on to them guiltily, staring at all the old, female and infirm still standing.
And then suddenly the really hot chick decided to walk through the terminal. She had all the correct gear, clothing, and equipment for her stereotype and for a few brief minutes no male thought about anything else. It was a strange interlude, but certainly a welcome refreshment. But you know what? She couldn’t make the internet work, the planes fly and no one gave her a seat. We had reached the limit of hotness as a super power.
1400 people. I saw the first move happening. I will still watching everyone like a thief. A man with a look that strongly said “I don’t care what any of you think” cleared off the first coffee table bench and moved it into a clear spot for his wife to sit. He looked very pleased with himself and I smiled at him. But no one else dared. What a foolish species!
More time passed, more people arrived, and I was getting tired of standing. I had begun sweating and I was getting really annoyed at the old men and their big bum wallets. Was it some kind of a trap? I’d had enough people watching, enough staff watching and so I grabbed a newspaper and headed towards the bathroom. There was a clear area in the hallway leading to the restrooms so I plunked myself down and read a little news.
More time and more people later much of the floor is covered with sitting people. I’m still not bored yet though. The paper is mildly interesting and the people are more interesting now that I don’t have to stand anymore. To be honest I’m getting kind of sleepy- perhaps the oxygen content in the air is getting really low. We'll all lie down, fall asleep peacefully and die. Where was that really hot chick? I'd like to lie down and die next to her.
And then suddenly the announcement "the computers are back on". There is a little polite clapping but that's all. I think everyone is tired. We had all resigned to wait.
What a strange experience. I wish I played guitar or sang and could have led everyone in a sing-along. Or done some kind of weird dance. Or played Scape! Entertained them, made them laugh, brought them somewhere else. I am disappointed in all of us. So caught up in our little lives that even when we are stranded and trapped we simply just wait- go on hold- screen saver mode- until we can begin where we left off. But what if this had been a train station and we were going to Dachau? I have done much reading about such things and while some hid and fought many others simply lined up and waited for the train. There is a limit to what people can take. Most of us are sheep.
The staff behind the desk are incredibly busy now, rebooking seats and tying together frayed itineraries. I get in a long line and eventually board a small plane and go up into the clouds again.
We're flying quickly but I recognize my neighbourhood when we pass over it. Couldn't spot my house though.
Funny species, humans. We can fly above the clouds or wait forever, cattle like, in a terminal. But it’s all just waiting for the next thing.
Total Comments 6
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Another interesting post. Thanks for sharing.
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Posted May 30th, 2012 at 06:46 PM by ZBeeblebrox
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Apocalyptic!
I had something similar happen a long time ago down in Miami Airport in Florida, coming back from a vacation in the Caribbean, and was amazed at how little the airline staff offered the public in this time of emergency. They just disappeared from sight! The airline was TWA, and that was the night they dissolved as a corporate entity forever. We got a flight out hours later, having waited from the late afternoon into the early evening. As a coda, we finally flew to La Guardia airport but our bags went to JFK International, many miles away here in New York City. We arrived late at night. Not trusting the disappearing airlines to deliver our bags as promised, we took a taxi to JFK and spent the whole rest of the night there--because no one at the first airport had told us that JFK Baggage (one of the largest and busiest in the nation) closed down for the night! Next morning a restaurant opened and we had breakfast. When I finally got home with my one piece of luggage late in the morning, life everywhere else was normal. But what if it hadn't been? What if the normal world you take for granted is so fragile that it could disappear a few seconds after you read this? Better go back to bed... |
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Posted May 31st, 2012 at 08:42 AM by chas
Updated May 31st, 2012 at 08:56 AM by chas |
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Ah, people-watching. Another thing that I've learned you can get away with a lot easier when you're very short for your age, as I am. Fascinating post, thanks for sharing.
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Posted June 1st, 2012 at 05:39 PM by Shockma Ranyk
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I hope I wasn't the only one that was a little worried when I read the title of this blog. Another good read. Thanks Sylvano.
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Posted June 8th, 2012 at 02:45 PM by Heroscape Elffy
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Ditto, Hero-Elf.
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Posted June 8th, 2012 at 10:44 PM by MegaSilver
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Funny stuff, Sylvano.
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Posted June 10th, 2012 at 12:28 AM by Arch-vile
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