The Weird People In My Neighbourhood Play Scape

When I was briefly unemployed a few weeks ago I set myself a daily schedule. I was expecting to be jobless for a while, so I didn’t want to revert to a lesser hominoid state- hairy, dirtier and smellier. I still had to get up every morning to get all the kids off to school, and I was trying to save on day care costs so I kept my small three year old Marr with me. He’s got a lot of energy so we went for a walk late every morning which ended in a nearby park, so he could climb and swing and get in touch with his lesser hominoid. (how is it fair that he reverts to a thin agile monkey thing and i revert to a hairy chubby baboon thing?)

Anyway, continuing the theme of lesser hominoids- as we were heading off on our walkie, we pass by what my kids call “the creepy house”. It’s not really all that creepy- the driveway is all smashed concrete with a huge oil stain, the lawn is half dead and half wild, the paint is peeling and there are big piles of junk and trash everywhere. Okay, so it’s a little creepy. And the people who live there stare. They stare at you as you arrive and they keep staring until you are out of sight. Like they’re daring you to say something.

It was recycling day, and everyone’s blue and red boxes were out- blue for cans, etc, red for paper and cardboard.

And guess what we saw in the creepy people’s red box?

No, not ammo boxes.
Not a dozen wrappers from roach killer.
And not thirty illustrated bibles.

We saw what looked like the packaging for D2. Okay, so my little one didn’t notice. He was telling me that they don’t let him be a lion at daycare anymore. (He’s out grown the pants I sewed the tail onto anyway).

I just had a quick glimpse- I admit to casually looking in other people’s recycle boxes- but this was the first time I’d ever seen Scape packaging. I couldn’t really stop because they were staring at me and it just didn’t seem right to rifle through their red box just then.

At the park i was aghast. I’ve always wanted to meet someone else in my area who plays. But them? The people in the creepy house? The staring, junk everywhere creepy people? My mind went to scary places- me in their house- moving aside piles of newspapers and car parts to sit on an oil-stained chair and sit my precious figures on their terrained coffee table. Them offering me snacks from a cracked ancient plate. I nibble on the tasteless lumps to be polite and then get dizzy and fall to the ground unconscious.

Did I mention that they have a great big dog whose mouth never closes? It’s true- it’s either barking or staring at you, mouth open and drooling. It’s a Scape eating mouth if I’ve ever seen one. Deathstalker.

As I pushed my young space alien on the swings I convinced myself that I was mistaken. It wasn’t pieces of a D2 box. It was something else and I just didn’t see it correctly. That had to be the answer. It was just something else. When I get really tired I often see things a little differently than they actually are- and I can’t remember not being tired for years.

Of course we took the same route home. The man of the creepy house was standing on the crumbling front porch, staring at me. I looked at him for a moment, as I always do, then found something else to look at. My baby was getting tired and his head was drooping. Right beside the red box we stopped so I could adjust him in the seat- otherwise he sort of falls out when he drifts asleep in the stroller. I took a hard long look in their recycle box. It was the cardboard from the ogre and goblins booster. No surprise- what else would Mr. Creepy be interested in? Ogres and goblins- the whole family was like a live version of ogres and goblins.

We returned home and I tucked my little sleeper on the couch for his nap. I sat in a chair and wondered. What do I do next? Do I contact them? Do I say hi, I’m a Scaper too? Will they just stare at me? Or will I end up tied and bound in their cluttered basement?