Funniest things said during battle

[Darconus]

Alright, let's give this a shot. In this thread write down some of the funniest things you or your friends have said while playing. For me:

1. "Oh, man, Smokey will be pissed." - Bob, after knocking over par tof our forest.

2. "Krug Smash!" - Ben, it was funny at the time.

3. "Yeah, well I'm over here bashing down part of the castle and getting my butt handed to me and you've got Jotun and his pit crew over there just sitting around chilling!" - me, said to Davis during a castle assault game.

Now, you try...

[robaula]

It wasnt really a case of something being said, more of a case of something being done.
My eldest son was bragging about how his Agent Carr was going to wipe my Marro's off of the face of the board. I shot, and killed, his Agent Carr before he even had a chance to do anything with him. This resulted in quite a lot of tears and "why? why?"
Fairly amusing....

When we roll for the Tarn's berserk, we vigourously shake our heads from side to side whilst loudly shouting out "berserk!"

To make your attack rolls more likely to be successful, as we roll we say "he's dead". Unfortunately, this can work against you as well if your opponent tries it too.

I guess we are just plain weird...

[Nooblar]

End of a 500-point game. I had one Samurai left, and he was being attacked by an adjacent Krug (2 wounds). Krug whiffs his attack, Samurai rolls 6 SHIELDS!!!

My team spontaneously broke out into a parody of AC/DC..."You've been...COUNTERSTRUCK!"

[Darconus]

Last night we were playing a series of games on three smaller maps. I was palying Ben (if you ever saw our video from the thread "Best Castle Map Ever?" he was the angry looking guy at the end of the video), and he just suddenly started singing, 'The hills are live with the sound of..." and then he made a few explosion sounds and screamed. It was funny.

[deliverymanxas]

Last night during our Capture the Castle scenario (team game), our opponent tried to use Braxas' Acid Breath on Charos...we didnt say anything until he rolled a 19 and began to dance around. After the celebrations, and my reaching for Charos...I paused and told him that he missed. He laughed and started getting pissed...he even held up the dice tower to try and prove that he rolled a 19 to kill a Hero. I told him to look at his card again, he set it down...sighed...and said "I need a f***ing cigarette". Me and my partner rolled for about 5 minutes.

[Grungebob]

I was playing a 4 way game with all three onf my nephews a couple of years ago. It was Thanksgiving and one of my nephews had an army with Agent Carr. His mom called him for some reason and he said he would be right back. While he was gone we continued with the game and I rolled defense dice for him on any of his units that were attacked. His agent Carr got attacked and I rolled poorly so Carr died. When he returned to the table he looked around totally and then proclaimed "Dude! Where's my Carr?!?!" This is a true story... We died laughing!!! It was in my sig line for a long time.

[darkclown789]

We were playing a 3v3 while I was camping with cousins and folks, aunts and uncles etc. I was trying to have a good game to get my uncle to like the game, so my cousins could buy it too. My dad was bragging about how "unstoppable" Krug was to my uncle. I just smiled. He charged Krug out there, I threw some gorrilinators on elavation and began firing. Every time I caused a wound, he would just smile and say "thanks." My cousin fired a couple of shots from Syvarris and killed Krug before he did anything whatsoeaver. My dad's smile dissapeared. My uncle's words as a response were with howling laughter. "Wow, unstoppable!"

To this day everyone on their block is into heroscape because of that little play. :lol:

Darkclown

[Hex_Enduction_Hour]

I did an inebriated Mel Gibson rant while using Alistair MacDirk. It was funny at the time, but I won't be repeating it here.

[Point Blanks]

Sgt. Drake came out and attacked my Agent Carr. He rolled four skulls, and I wiffed on defense. As soon as I took him off the field, I yelled "I call a hate crime on that!"

[Ryougabot]

After a long battle, all that was left was Jotun on my team (3 Life left) and Nerak on my wife's team (full health). She ran Nerak along a ledge until and she ended her movement face to face with him literally. She attacked him and rolled 1 skull. He blocked it.

She then borrowed a line from Friends, "Uh-Oh, I've angered it"

Jotun then grambed Nerak by the head and threw him into an adjacent hex on the same level with Jotun. The throw did one damage and the following attack killed Nerak.

Another funny one was when I held a bridge against a squad of blade Gruts with one Macdirk warrior. They kept charging and I kept killing them. By the third, I yelled, in my best scottish voice, "Bring it on ye wee unwashed nasties!!!"

We still use that in casual conversation today (usually involving diapers).

[LilNewbie]

...

She then borrowed a line from Friends, "Uh-Oh, I've angered it"

Jotun then grambed Nerak by the head and threw him into an adjacent hex on the same level with Jotun. The throw did one damage and the following attack killed Nerak.

...



LOL! Great quote! Just as a side note, Jotun can't throw Nerak since Nerak is Large but hey, good story nonetheless. :D

Newb.

[Smeagol10041]

one time when i failed to land a hit on the zetians for 4 turns I said "man were's a can opener when you need it?"

[Teamski]

I was playing a 4 way game with all three onf my nephews a couple of years ago. It was Thanksgiving and one of my nephews had an army with Agent Carr. His mom called him for some reason and he said he would be right back. While he was gone we continued with the game and I rolled defense dice for him on any of his units that were attacked. His agent Carr got attacked and I rolled poorly so Carr died. When he returned to the table he looked around totally and then proclaimed "Dude! Where's my Carr?!?!" This is a true story... We died laughing!!! It was in my sig line for a long time.

Without a doubt, this is the all-time classic Heroscape line. When you posted this that first time, we all had one hell of laugh!! :rofl:

-Ski

[Codeman]

I was playing a 4 way game with all three onf my nephews a couple of years ago. It was Thanksgiving and one of my nephews had an army with Agent Carr. His mom called him for some reason and he said he would be right back. While he was gone we continued with the game and I rolled defense dice for him on any of his units that were attacked. His agent Carr got attacked and I rolled poorly so Carr died. When he returned to the table he looked around totally and then proclaimed "Dude! Where's my Carr?!?!" This is a true story... We died laughing!!! It was in my sig line for a long time.

Without a doubt, this is the all-time classic Heroscape line. When you posted this that first time, we all had one hell of laugh!! :rofl:

-Ski

True.... I just read it for the first time a few minutes ago.... I didn't realize I laughed out loud... until my wife asked me what so funny? So I had to read GB post to her. That is a great HS line :lol:

[robaula]

I was playing a 4 way game with all three onf my nephews a couple of years ago. It was Thanksgiving and one of my nephews had an army with Agent Carr. His mom called him for some reason and he said he would be right back. While he was gone we continued with the game and I rolled defense dice for him on any of his units that were attacked. His agent Carr got attacked and I rolled poorly so Carr died. When he returned to the table he looked around totally and then proclaimed "Dude! Where's my Carr?!?!" This is a true story... We died laughing!!! It was in my sig line for a long time.

Without a doubt, this is the all-time classic Heroscape line. When you posted this that first time, we all had one hell of laugh!! :rofl:

-Ski

True.... I just read it for the first time a few minutes ago.... I didn't realize I laughed out loud... until my wife asked me what so funny? So I had to read GB post to her. That is a great HS line :lol:

:!:

Funniest thing I have read on this thread :!:

[Jandars_Hope]

Made me laugh :smile:

[Codeman]

This funny moment wasn’t said, but was a reaction to that happened during a HS game.

At Gen-Con after Spider_Poison won the big tourney part of his prize was to play Craig Van Ness ( Thank you Craig & Heroscape this was a great moment at Gen-Con for us HS fans that watched ). Anyway back to the story….. At one point in the middle of the game Spider_Poison made a move Craig must not have expected…. a few moments latter Craig is reaching across the table asking Spider_Poison if he could look at the card.

Note: This was just one great/funny moment during that game… there were several more, it was a great game to watch.

[Cavalier]

This funny moment wasn’t said, but was a reaction to that happened during a HS game.

At Gen-Con after Spider_Poison won the big tourney part of his prize was to play Craig Van Ness ( Thank you Craig & Heroscape this was a great moment at Gen-Con for us HS fans that watched ). Anyway back to the story….. At one point in the middle of the game Spider_Poison made a move Craig must not have expected…. a few moments latter Craig is reaching across the table asking Spider_Poison if he could look at the card.

Note: This was just one great/funny moment during that game… there were several more, it was a great game to watch. :lol: Now I don't feel so bad, knowing that even the designer has to check the cards from time to time :lol:

[DoesntCompute]

By the third, I yelled, in my best scottish voice, "Bring it on ye wee unwashed nasties!!!"

We still use that in casual conversation today (usually involving diapers).

Thank goodness my casual conversation no longer revolves around dirty diapers!

[deadeyedan42]

as soon as I saw the new zombies for wave 6 I said" :rofl: I see dead people."

[Fallen Templar]

After Jotun's Wild Swing which killed the Black KMA and Carr: Why do the Black Dudes die first

[Turtleboy]

My friend Cody usually gets the "poor" jokes directed at him.

So anywho we were drafting and it was Cody's first time, and i repainted some of my wolves white. I showed him the white wolves and and hes like i'll take the brown ones, matches me more, and i replied cus your coverd in dirt?
:lol:

[netherspirit]

Got wood for sheep?

Oh wrong game...

[Codeman]

:shock: Thanks netherspirit I will not be able to play that game with a straight face now. I'm going to have to remeber not to trade wood for sheep now as I don't want to be accused of that. :lol:

But that is a good one.

[deadeyedan42]

I once said..."The reason they call him deadeye dan is because he's blind in one eye, the one he aims with."

[jumpman_14]

End of a 500-point game. I had one Samurai left, and he was being attacked by an adjacent Krug (2 wounds). Krug whiffs his attack, Samurai rolls 6 SHIELDS!!!

My team spontaneously broke out into a parody of AC/DC..."You've been...COUNTERSTRUCK!"
HAHAHA That's hilarious! :lol:

[AmishBurrito]

I once said..."The reason they call him deadeye dan is because he's blind in one eye, the one he aims with."

I really like that!

For a sniper character, he sure does miss a lot.

[CupidsArt]

Got wood for sheep?

Oh wrong game...


Yeah, I'll give you 3 wood for 2 sheep, or 4 wood if you have any ore? :D









..........................................OK, it took me a while, but I got the joke. A little late though :duh:

[Taelord]

When I was playing my mom yesterday, when my Krug killed her Denrick: Hey, he can't die. Shouldent he get some extra shields for his beautiful hair. :lol:

[Agent Minivann]

UtahScott after his Me Burq Sa was killed by my son's Swog Rider:
Never trust a skinless guy on a horse.

I once said..."The reason they call him deadeye dan is because he's blind in one eye, the one he aims with."

I can relate to that. I played a castle siege once where Dan is parked with the castle walls just at the end of his range and starts to special attack the 2 squads of 4th Mass line up there. I think he fired something like 8-10 times before he rolled a skull.

[Pattar007]

I chomped my opponents agent carr with grimnak. I shouted "Get into my Belly"

[Counterstike]

My sister after I killed her Krug with Dund... yes, Dund. "You're supposed to be this colossus! You're this great legendary thing! and yet he beats you!"

[Jim]

My sister after I killed her Krug with Dund... yes, Dund. "You're supposed to be this colossus! You're this great legendary thing! and yet he beats you!"

Inconceivable!

Jim

[Counterstike]

That wasn't the end of the quotes either. When she got yet another wound on my Charos, I said, "I just want you to feel you're doing well. I don't want anybody to die embarrassed." And then when she killed him next turn, she said, "I do not envy the headache you'll have when you awaken, but for now, sleep. and dream of large she-dragons"

[Nooblar]

:rofl:

[Counterstike]

"But wait! there's more! ... actually no there isn't," I once said that after nearly killing her Taelord with good ol' Syvarris with the first attack, but rolling 1 blank and 2 defense on the second attack.

[Darconus]

Nothing was said, but I used Syvarris to take out two advancing Aubriens the other day (it was a 3 vs. 3 game with 400 point armies (2 Ullar)). My friend was controlling the Aubriens and when I killed them she didn't say anything, but she looked at me with an evil eye and then threw two attack dice at me. I thought about actually rolling defense, but she was already mad enough.

[moorific]

We have heard of many DW expieriences and well my opponent seriously despises him (he actually thinks hes cursed) for this since he use to draft him a lot. Well anyway I had DW9k in the castle his syvvy rolled one on me I rolled all 11 of my dice and one after another they seemed to all come blank until they were all rolled he then began cheering but I told him to look again; and sure enough a worn out shield lays there, he then scremed "AAAGGGHHHH IT'S THE CURSE OF DW!!!!!!"

(this one isn't a quote but looking back it's still hilarious) Anyway, I'm not usually one to draft Finn but I though I'd try him out this time. So first turn, (I purposly put lava near my starting zone) I took him to the lava and killed him, but my opponent insisted that I roll, I agreed (c'mon what could happen) and he SURVIVES!!! I was upset, but it was ok I just waited til next turn..................20?!?!?!?

[Pattar007]

That seems to happen to a lot of people. Why can't I mindshackle? AGH

[moorific]

That seems to happen to a lot of people. Why can't I mindshackle? AGH

I have tried mindshackling many times but I still have yet to succeed, and yet everytime I roll for something like acid breath on a squad or initiative I'll always get a 20!!

[deadeyedan42]

I have done 3 count them 3 mindshackles in one game! I love you d-20!

[jumpman_14]

Prepare to be samuraid.

[Troll Warrior]

It wasn't that funny, but:

My mother decimated my orc horde down to all but 3gruts with her zettians. Only then did I notice that I could hAve attacked them with a Syvarris with triple height advantage from the first turn. This discovery was quickly followed by a lot of swearing. Me because I let 5 blade gruts die for no reason, mom for getting her zettians killed easily (no defense dice), and my father because we were swearing so much.

[deathsaurx]

It wasn't that funny, but:

My mother decimated my orc horde down to all but 3gruts with her zettians. Only then did I notice that I could hAve attacked them with a Syvarris with triple height advantage from the first turn. This discovery was quickly followed by a lot of swearing. Me because I let 5 blade gruts die for no reason, mom for getting her zettians killed easily (no defense dice), and my father because we were swearing so much.

Triple height advantage?

[Troll Warrior]

It wasn't that funny, but:

My mother decimated my orc horde down to all but 3gruts with her zettians. Only then did I notice that I could hAve attacked them with a Syvarris with triple height advantage from the first turn. This discovery was quickly followed by a lot of swearing. Me because I let 5 blade gruts die for no reason, mom for getting her zettians killed easily (no defense dice), and my father because we were swearing so much.

Triple height advantage?

Really really really high mountains are fun to build with lava caves and huge glacier ice caps.

[deathsaurx]

It wasn't that funny, but:

My mother decimated my orc horde down to all but 3gruts with her zettians. Only then did I notice that I could hAve attacked them with a Syvarris with triple height advantage from the first turn. This discovery was quickly followed by a lot of swearing. Me because I let 5 blade gruts die for no reason, mom for getting her zettians killed easily (no defense dice), and my father because we were swearing so much.

Triple height advantage?

Really really really high mountains are fun to build with lava caves and huge glacier ice caps.

Is that a house rule or something?

[ninthdoc]

Last Wednesday night in a game with Aldin, geddy lifeson, dflynsqurl, geddy's buddy, and me, dflynsqurl tried to Chomp geddy's Marrden Hound w/Grimnak. Geddy said, "No, he's a large figure, Grimnak can't Chomp large figures. I can't believe you're trying to Chomp my large figure!" ROFLMAO!

I told him the only thing that would have been funnier was if he would have said, "I can't believe you're trying to Chomp my large unit." :rofl:

[geddy lifeson]

Last Wednesday night in a game with Aldin, geddy lifeson, dflynsqurl, geddy's buddy, and me, dflynsqurl tried to Chomp geddy's Marrden Hound w/Grimnak. Geddy said, "No, he's a large figure, Grimnak can't Chomp large figures. I can't believe you're trying to Chomp my large figure!" ROFLMAO!

I told him the only thing that would have been funnier was if he would have said, "I can't believe you're trying to Chomp my large unit." :rofl:

...or large member. :lol:

[deadeyedan42]

It wasn't that funny, but:

My mother decimated my orc horde down to all but 3gruts with her zettians. Only then did I notice that I could hAve attacked them with a Syvarris with triple height advantage from the first turn. This discovery was quickly followed by a lot of swearing. Me because I let 5 blade gruts die for no reason, mom for getting her zettians killed easily (no defense dice), and my father because we were swearing so much.

Triple height advantage?

Really really really high mountains are fun to build with lava caves and huge glacier ice caps.

Is that a house rule or something?

If a Figure is 10 levels higher that the tageted figure, the attacking figure recives 1 additional attack die. for every ten levels add 1 to your attack or defence.

nope it's offical. :D

[Fuzzie Fuzz]

So, I was playing a game with finn, and my plan from the beginning was to get him killed so that I could use his whatchamacallit spirit special. (I don't have my HS with me right now) So anyways, my opponent isn't attacking him, though I don't think on purpose. So at the end, he's my last guy against Grimnak. Grimnak chomps him, and he dies. I say: "Yay! Finaly! Oh, wait... Nevermind." This was followed by some swearing on my part. :rimshot:

Edit: Dude! Wheres my Carr!- Priceless :rofl:

[K/H_Addict]

not exactly said, but this past sunday i found out that the ninja that stands bolt upright with no weapon (i think it's the she-ninja) can fit almost perfectly inside a small glacier.

[K/H_Addict]

It wasn't that funny, but:

My mother decimated my orc horde down to all but 3gruts with her zettians. Only then did I notice that I could hAve attacked them with a Syvarris with triple height advantage from the first turn. This discovery was quickly followed by a lot of swearing. Me because I let 5 blade gruts die for no reason, mom for getting her zettians killed easily (no defense dice), and my father because we were swearing so much.

Triple height advantage?

Really really really high mountains are fun to build with lava caves and huge glacier ice caps.

Is that a house rule or something?

If a Figure is 10 levels higher that the tageted figure, the attacking figure recives 1 additional attack die. for every ten levels add 1 to your attack or defence.

nope it's offical. :D

Nether lied to me. I remember him telling me that it stopped at plus 2 :skull:/:shield: and never went higher for height advantage

[Taelord]

I was playing my friend and he killed my ninja, who failed to dissapear. I said " NO, he didn't die, he went to train with the Shaolin monks up on that glacier. And one day he will come back to seek his revenge."

[Su-Bak-Na]

It wasn't that funny, but:

My mother decimated my orc horde down to all but 3gruts with her zettians. Only then did I notice that I could hAve attacked them with a Syvarris with triple height advantage from the first turn. This discovery was quickly followed by a lot of swearing. Me because I let 5 blade gruts die for no reason, mom for getting her zettians killed easily (no defense dice), and my father because we were swearing so much.

Triple height advantage?

Really really really high mountains are fun to build with lava caves and huge glacier ice caps.

Is that a house rule or something?

If a Figure is 10 levels higher that the tageted figure, the attacking figure recives 1 additional attack die. for every ten levels add 1 to your attack or defence.

nope it's offical. :D

Nether lied to me. I remember him telling me that it stopped at plus 2 :skull:/:shield: and never went higher for height advantage


I just checked the Second Edition rulebook and I'm sorry to say Nether was telling the truth. (Wait that didn't sound right) How bout this, I'm sorry to say you're wrong and Nethers right. (Still makes it sound like I don't like Nether being right, oh well.) :P

[Omega]

in a 2000 point battle nobody attacked me for a while, and i had enough time to get like everyone good and strong on the bridge with like raelin and taelord and stuff, and i said there was a toll to cross my bridge... that toll is your life

[Nooblar]

Meh. I haven't seen any really good ones for a couple pages. C'mon, where's the wit?

I still think mine on page 1 is the best...

[funrun]

I have seen and heard a great many funny things during HS, but the funniest one in my recent memory happened to bunjee at GenCon. I was sitting next to her at the RAM while we played a giant team game with other gamers around us playing other games at other tables. Let me preface by pointing out that a lot of males at Gencon are, shall we say, lacking a bit with their lady skills. . . Suddenly Mr. Game Geek Extraordinare walks over to bunjee with a completely serious face and says, "Excuse me miss, my D20 rolled between your legs" and then he proceeds to reach under her chair and pick it up.

It sounded like such a horrible attempt at a gamer pick-up line, but perhaps what was even funnier was that the guy didn't realize what he had said!

[Grungebob]

I have seen and heard a great many funny things during HS, but the funniest one in my recent memory happened to bunjee at GenCon. I was sitting next to her at the RAM while we played a giant team game with other gamers around us playing other games at other tables. Let me preface by pointing out that a lot of males at Gencon are, shall we say, lacking a bit with their lady skills. . . Suddenly Mr. Game Geek Extraordinare walks over to bunjee with a completely serious face and says, "Excuse me miss, my D20 rolled between your legs" and then he proceeds to reach under her chair and pick it up.

It sounded like such a horrible attempt at a gamer pick-up line, but perhaps what was even funnier was that the guy didn't realize what he had said!Did he get lucky...... and roll a 20? :rofl: :passout:

[Su-Bak-Na]

I have seen and heard a great many funny things during HS, but the funniest one in my recent memory happened to bunjee at GenCon. I was sitting next to her at the RAM while we played a giant team game with other gamers around us playing other games at other tables. Let me preface by pointing out that a lot of males at Gencon are, shall we say, lacking a bit with their lady skills. . . Suddenly Mr. Game Geek Extraordinare walks over to bunjee with a completely serious face and says, "Excuse me miss, my D20 rolled between your legs" and then he proceeds to reach under her chair and pick it up.

It sounded like such a horrible attempt at a gamer pick-up line, but perhaps what was even funnier was that the guy didn't realize what he had said!

Thats hilarious!!!!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[player_of_volleyball]

well me and k/h and a few others are going to be playin a game tomarrow so im sure one of us will be posting in thie thread late tomarrow

[Darconus]

In our game last Sunday, I was on a team with TheDavis against Khanbob, and our friends Bob and Lauren. TheDavis and I had an invisible partner to make it 3 vs. 3. Our map was kinda neat, a basically flat surface and a series of bridges above it, ten high, which is where most of the fighting took place. I had Saylind and Q9 and quickly i got Q9 on the bridge, but Bob had Deadeye and he killed Q9 with a D20 roll. At that point I grabbed Q9 off the board and TheDavis and I said, in unison, "Well, we lost."

So, a good quick 5 minutes game there, seeing as Bob completely destroyed our battle plan by killing Q9 that quickly. So we played again, this time the game lasted about 2, maybe 2 1/2 hours, and TheDavis and I won. A good night all around.

[Mikestir]

I was battling and lost with the obsineien guards. I said " hey rock head do something better next lik move or say ME crush, something. I was feeling like melting him down just see if his lava resitice really worked...

[K/H_Addict]

i was doing a team game with 725 point armies. I didn't care too much bout the game, so my army was as follows:

Jotun
Q9
Braxas
Drake

I posted that just for kicks.


Pregame, we were discussing strategy, and my two oponents were bickering about an AE strategy. One of them has played a grand total of 4 games as of today, so he's pretty new to the game, and the other is about as good as i am. Well, Mr. Noob says something that leaves Mr. Not Noob speachless, and PoF both look at Mr. Not Noob and say in unison "You just got owned by a noob!"

[Mikestir]

noobs can own people. Like when I meet you guys i'll own you. :)

[player_of_volleyball]

i was doing a team game with 725 point armies. I didn't care too much bout the game, so my army was as follows:

Jotun
Q9
Braxas
Drake

I posted that just for kicks.


Pregame, we were discussing strategy, and my two oponents were bickering about an AE strategy. One of them has played a grand total of 4 games as of today, so he's pretty new to the game, and the other is about as good as i am. Well, Mr. Noob says something that leaves Mr. Not Noob speachless, and PoF both look at Mr. Not Noob and say in unison "You just got owned by a noob!"

yea that was pretty funny. then mr. not noob just kinda of look at us and back to his army and we all laughed. ah goooooooood times

[K/H_Addict]

And then there were just the emotions when POF was soo close to claiming victory at the end of round 1, but i took it away from him by bombing his AE with my AE, and then caliming victory myself at the end of the second round.


We were doing king of the hill, which is why it went so fast.

[Darconus]

I remember the first game I ever played. It took me forever to figure out the defense rolls and attack rolls, and why you did one thing when a figure was higher or lower, it was all really confusing as crap. Now, I'm lovin' it.

As for the first map I helped build, it was at Khanbob's place, and we had two master sets and two road sets, and The Davis and I figured we should build a map using every piece we had, which was a policy of ours for a long time, but this map was, at its higest, maybe five high, and when Khanbob walked in and saw this field of death covering his entire kitchen table, he freaked. Also, that game was the first time I used Mimring, and I took out Khanbob's entire 4th Mass with flame breath, all at one time.

[Mikestir]

I mind shackled my freinds grimack. I turned him on the gruts he was leading,after eating half his army I said " IThat took a big bite out of your army. :D :lol:

[deadeyedan42]

Lame. :roll:

I was playing with my best friend Alex and I had Sarg. he was Rotflol for some reason and I yelled over his Laughter, " I'm moving Alexander!" then he stoped laughing and siad " yes?" we just stared at eack other for a second then burst into laughter. It lasted for almost 10 minutes befor we calmed down.

[Grungebob]

How about?: Someone call 911, my opponment is choking on a member of the Sacred Band!! :rofl:

[K/H_Addict]

How about?: Someone call 911, my opponment is choking on a member of the Sacred Band!! :rofl:

is there a story behind that one?

[Grungebob]

How about?: Someone call 911, my opponment is choking on a member of the Sacred Band!! :rofl:

is there a story behind that one? Ask DED

Today we use any of the following, Sucks, bites, burns, and other clever slang types that are nto appropet for this site. and Dragonslayer, I know how you feel, I just got out of the hospital to get a game peice out of my troat. [stupid I know, it's a bad habbit I'm trying to break.]

[deadeyedan42]

How about?: Someone call 911, my opponment is choking on a member of the Sacred Band!! :rofl:

sorry peice, and yes just look here, http://www.heroscapers.com/community/showthread.php?t=4276

I told you it was a bad habit.

[countblah]

You know those age limits on toys (ages 3 and up...). Well, DED, now you know why they have those.

[deadeyedan42]

your lucky I can't chew on " child friendly" toys :x and I am 13 with a VERY bad habbit.

[Mikestir]

come on I was running out of stuff Deadeye! :)

[ninthdoc]

your lucky I can't chew on " child friendly" toys :x and I am 13 with a VERY bad habbit.

Dude, you really should read what you write before you post it. Seriously, that can be taken several ways and most of them are not very nice for you. Now put down the chewtoys and get back to class. :shock:

[countblah]

This thread has just gone from zero to galaxy awesome in, like, two seconds. Wow.

[Taeblewalker]

My friend spontaneously picked up two Dumuteff Guards and placed their "high five" hands together, then spun them around in unison, singing, "Skip to my loo my darlin'." Try it!

Also, see my sig.


And, since my sig won't appear (perhaps it's because I hit "Quick Reply"?), here it is, in all it's Giant glory:

4 of my Tarns surrounding Krug, who is unwounded. Opponent's Jotun steps up: Wild Swing at Krug!

[Mikestir]

creepy... IS your freind diffent in any way or?.... j]k

[Pattar007]

My friend spontaneously picked up two Dumuteff Guards and placed their "high five" hands together, then spun them around in unison, singing, "Skip to my loo my darlin'." Try it!

Also, see my sig.


And, since my sig won't appear (perhaps it's because I hit "Quick Reply"?), here it is, in all it's Giant glory:

4 of my Tarns surrounding Krug, who is unwounded. Opponent's Jotun steps up: Wild Swing at Krug!

No comment :roll:

[SilverBlade]

Wasn't a Scape game but my mom spilled a drink playing Monopoly once. Giggleing at her own clumsiness, she was picking up ice off the table and dropping it in the glass when I handed her the dice. ...Which she promptly dropped in the glass with the ice! We all just sat there staring at the glass and laughing at her.

Here's yer sign mom.

[Mikestir]

lol

[brickman1444]

I was playing hs with my brother and i was gunna cream him but he had negoksa so he tried mindshackling like crazy and once while invoking the minshackle he actually said mindsMackle! now whenever we mindshackle we say it his way.

[K/H_Addict]

i was playing today against my friend. I forget who was attacking who, but it was him on the attack.

He rolled :skull: :skull: :skull: out of :skull: :skull: :skull:. I had :shield: :shield: :shield: to roll. I was using my :einar: dice. I rolled my 3 dice. I got :skull: :skull: :skull:.



I said "I have never seen so many skulls on a single 3 attack dice attack."

[darkclown789]

Pattar007,

FYI, Hannah Montanna is spelled, "Hannah Montana," and Secert is spelled "Secret."

Just thought I'd let you know, as you are either lazy or just don't know how to spell.

Darkclown
p.s. Yes, I watch Hannah Montana. It is an awesome show. :lol:

[Mikestir]

dude I love you avater! funny!

[netherspirit]

"It'll fit, just turn it around."

[Mikestir]

no funny dude not funny.... :lol:

[K/H_Addict]

not during battle, but it could have been! A convo between PoF and I (sportzplayer=PoF; hcps-morrisbm=me)

hcps-morrisbm says:
Assume we're playin 1-on-1 HS. In the middle of your 18th turn, what would you do if i keeled over and died?
hcps-morrisbm says:
just fell over and died. no reason; just because
Sportzplayer says:
be like HOLY S*** and call 911
hcps-morrisbm says:
rofl
hcps-morrisbm says:
i'd finish my turn first
Sportzplayer says:
o thx
hcps-morrisbm says:
dmi
Sportzplayer says:
loser
hcps-morrisbm says:
well, you're dead. what use is 911?
Sportzplayer says:
i would win by default tho right
hcps-morrisbm says:
sure
Sportzplayer says:
saweet
hcps-morrisbm says:
but i get your HS cuz you died on me
Sportzplayer says:
nah would go to matt
hcps-morrisbm says:
but you didn't die on him
hcps-morrisbm says:
either i win, or i get your scape
Sportzplayer says:
fine you win but he is family, family gets stuff over friends
hcps-morrisbm says:
ok
hcps-morrisbm says:
i win
Sportzplayer says:
lol
hcps-morrisbm says:
what if in the middle of your 18th turn, i pulled out a rifle and shot at you?
Sportzplayer says:
wtf is up with the 18th turn?
hcps-morrisbm says:
and then rolled 12 dice to see how stron my shot is
Sportzplayer says:
and i guess i couldnt do much
hcps-morrisbm says:
ok
hcps-morrisbm says:
i didn't shoot at you
hcps-morrisbm says:
i just threatened to
Sportzplayer says:
run like hell
hcps-morrisbm says:
then rolled my dice
hcps-morrisbm says:
and whiffed.
hcps-morrisbm says:
cuz we all know i would
Sportzplayer says:
throught torgrim on my back so i can get plus one defense then have rae in my pocket to get two more defense
hcps-morrisbm says:
lmao
Sportzplayer says:
or drake and have speed
Sportzplayer says:
or the EOV
hcps-morrisbm says:
i'd be ninja and poof man!
Sportzplayer says:
lol
hcps-morrisbm says:
lol
Sportzplayer says:
that to
Sportzplayer says:
KMA
hcps-morrisbm says:
with laglors enhancement?
hcps-morrisbm says:
wow...we're just nerds
Sportzplayer says:
ROFLMAO!!
Sportzplayer says:
yep thats us

[feekonea]

wow k/h that was hilarious. I especially enjoyed the rifle part and rolling all blanks. :D

[DarkDino]

You B*stard! I knew you'd Stab me in the Back! My friend who loves green as i killed Charos with Q9!

[monkeyfish]

Last Saturday at my gameday, when Daddio and one of my friends were having their squads of Krav go against each other, they were just shooting at each other for a few turns w/ no casualties until Daddio moved a Krav adjacent to one of my friend's Kravs and said, "Dodge this!" He killed the Krav and proceded to kill the rest of the Krav.

[deadeyedan42]

Me and my brother are playing a game, I have three units engaged to charos who has 6 wounds out of 9 little bro disengages charos.

Me "are you sure you want to do that?
him: "yeah, I"m getting away from those minions
me: " so... your absolutly sure you want to disengage?"
him: " yep, I have no regrets."

I roll three skulls

me: "you do now!"

[damja]

Yesterday at our tourney Haleon had just beat me, but it was pretty close. After the match he says: "That game was like, strategy and schit"

and then about an hour after we were done, myself, Notorious DG, and our friend Kevin (who had only played a few games before that day) were talking about the tournament and how I had a huge counterstrike against NDG's Krug when he got 0 skulls on his first attack roll against my Izumi and I countered with 4 shields. Kevin says: "You can roll for counterstrike on an unseccessful attack? Crap, that would have changed everything!"

Classic.

[Ugly-Caco]

My gf was saving up her Charos for her last wave. When the time came, she moved charos on the charge towards the remnants of some melee squad that I cant remember, and a 5-wound Jotun. Charos' move ended 3-4 spaces away from any of my fragile units. On my turn I advanced my Morsbane to negate the unscratched dragon. I rolled a 20.

My gf didnt say anything...she just climbed up to bed and slept.

...guess I posted this in the wrong thread, eh? Hehe

[deadeyedan42]

this weekend, me and my bro played a game, his brunak was killing ALL of my units, then I had three minions fly up to him, all with a hiet advantage and yelled, " 7 DEFENCE THIS!"

[Adam]

this is probably the funniest thing that happened to me in a game

My ornak was powering up a squad of blade gruts. they sucsessfully destroyed an already damaged door, and i shouted

"OLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO ORC WAR CRY!!!!"

yeah, i haven't had a lotta funny stuff happen.

Well there was this one time, but it wasn't what somebody said.

My freind accidentally knocked his 4thmass guy off a really tall tower into my grimnak, knocking over all my orcs right around grimmy. He sugested i make a suicide squad custom. then he said somthing like "Feel the wrath of our pathetic muskets!"

[Darconus]

Last night TheDavis and I were playtesting a map and campaign idea. We make all of our dice rolls in cups, and when we rolled initiative the first time, without looking at my D20 I said "Fourteen." TheDavis looked at me and said "No." I lifted my cup and it was 14. Unfortunately, he had rolled a 19. Not really funny, just a Maverick moment.

[TyrionXavier]

Me n Giark were playing a 500 point game, and I won initiative. Nothing major happened the first round, we both advanced on one another.

The second round, I had my first turn marker on Aubrien Archers, and won initiative.

21 attacks later, I had destroyed his entire army except 2 guys.

I was about to roll again for another Frenzy, when he looked right at the elves and said "Are you )(@&#% DONE YET?!"

So I roll, miss the Frenzy, and say "Yeah, we're pretty tired."

[Kar98]

"BLOOD TO THE BLOOD GODS!"

-my friend Dark Lord, going berserk with Deathwalker 8000

[Darconus]

The other night I decided to chance it and attack one of the Dw8K ( I think, it's the one that has nine defense), with one Aubrien Archer. DW had height. I rolled two skulls. TheDavis, in charge of DW, rolled ten defense die and got ONE shield.

[NecroBlade]

The other night I decided to chance it and attack one of the Dw8K ( I think, it's the one that has nine defense), with one Aubrien Archer. DW had height. I rolled two skulls. TheDavis, in charge of DW, rolled ten defense die and got ONE shield.8000 = 8 defence dice. 9000 = 9 defence dice. And 7000 = 7 defence dice. Get it? :teach:

[I Am The Game!!!]

The Only Visible Target Point Of My Last Figure Was Its Nuts...........It Got Sniped...Two Arrows In The Nuts................

[Darconus]

Thanks for the breakdown. I never use the DWs so I really don't care for them.

And if you look up the Graveyard map on the galleries, we built a map similar to that and played a 3 player game with 250 pts each about a week ago. I had Me-Burq-Sa and 4 squads of drones. 4 drones surrounded my friend's Syvarris. Hilarity ensued.

[Ugly-Caco]

Dund where's my Agent Carr!

[Darconus]

"This... this... this is ridiculous."
- Khanbob42, as I continually attacked and dealt damage with Kee-Mo-Shi Sunday night.

"Oh this can't be good."
- Khanbob42, as I surrounded his army with deathreavers and began moving in Kee-Mo-Shi, just prior to dealing out damage with Kee-Mo-Shi.

"I'm gonna do a general beat the **** out of you in this area."
-TheDavis, a few weeks back, as he was attacking my Q9.

[deadeyedan42]

"Good Lord it's a cat!"

~ me after witnesing a tangawa samuria fall four feet only to land on it's base perfectly.

"Death to the zombies!"
~ my freind before attacking my last zombie.

[HalsefighterX]

Whenever we are rolling to move the tarn viking warriors again we normally say "WAAARG!" We have done this so often that their skill is now referred to as 'Waarging' And whenever we move SPartacus we say "THIS IS SPARTA!"

We also nickname the units(by we I mean the guys I play with, I call them by their actual names, then I get blank stares until I use the nickname :roll:
The Nakita Agents are commonly called Charlie's angels,
Finn the Viking champion is Finnbar,
and Syvvarris is Elf-boy.

and according to a conversation we had once...The Warriors of Ashra have AIDS.
We are such odd people.... :lol:

[blitz]

I'm running amok with a bunch of deathreavers, not doing much damage but just being a raging irritation (my mutant power). After six turns of this, I've managed to shatter the opponent's lead formations, scatter his guys all over the map, and spread good cheer and mayhem without a single figure lost on either side.

Then he gets two squads of 4th Mass out from behind the trees and onto a couple of very important glyphs. So, with an initiative of 28, +1 attack and +4 range, he proudly announces...

"POSSUM HUNT!!! YEEEEHAAAA!!!"

[NecroBlade]

I'm running amok with a bunch of deathreavers, not doing much damage but just being a raging irritation (my mutant power). After six turns of this, I've managed to shatter the opponent's lead formations, scatter his guys all over the map, and spread good cheer and mayhem without a single figure lost on either side.

Then he gets two squads of 4th Mass out from behind the trees and onto a couple of very important glyphs. So, with an initiative of 28, +1 attack and +4 range, he proudly announces...

"POSSUM HUNT!!! YEEEEHAAAA!!!":rofl::rofl::rofl: One of the best in a long time!

[player_of_volleyball]

I'm running amok with a bunch of deathreavers, not doing much damage but just being a raging irritation (my mutant power). After six turns of this, I've managed to shatter the opponent's lead formations, scatter his guys all over the map, and spread good cheer and mayhem without a single figure lost on either side.

Then he gets two squads of 4th Mass out from behind the trees and onto a couple of very important glyphs. So, with an initiative of 28, +1 attack and +4 range, he proudly announces...

"POSSUM HUNT!!! YEEEEHAAAA!!!":rofl::rofl::rofl: One of the best in a long time!

haha i second that. priceless

[Rÿchean]

Funniest thing I have heard in the course of a Heroscape game:

"excuse me miss; My D20 has rolled between your legs"

Gencon 2006: We were gaming at the RAM, big 10 player game. We were in the backroom and a gamer from another table playing some other game managed to roll his die off the table and under Bunjee's chair.

Seemed like a bad gamer pick up line....

:-D

[funrun]

Funniest thing I have heard in the course of a Heroscape game:

"excuse me miss; My D20 has rolled between your legs"

Gencon 2006: We were gaming at the RAM, big 10 player game. We were in the backroom and a gamer from another table playing some other game managed to roll his die off the table and under Bunjee's chair.

Seemed like a bad gamer pick up line....

:-DUmm, this one was posted several months ago on an earlier page here :P.

[manger]

Grimnak chomped Agent carr in one of our earliest games. The player who lost carr said... "Awe he bit Jordy's head off" ever since then, agent carr is affectionatley known as Jordy (its the una glasses!).

[Rÿchean]

Funniest thing I have heard in the course of a Heroscape game:

"excuse me miss; My D20 has rolled between your legs"

Gencon 2006: We were gaming at the RAM, big 10 player game. We were in the backroom and a gamer from another table playing some other game managed to roll his die off the table and under Bunjee's chair.

Seemed like a bad gamer pick up line....

:-DUmm, this one was posted several months ago on an earlier page here :P.

Well excuse me miss..... it is still funny!

[Ravven Demonwing]

2. "Krug Smash!" - Ben, it was funny at the time.



Come now, that happens to be my sig... :P Yeah, that's a staple phrase of mine.

[Ravven Demonwing]

"[/i]My[/i] Agent Carr won't take any crap from your lousy Agent NotCarr"

~Me after I rolled all sheilds to my friend's Krav Maga Agent's one skull

[johnny139]

Well, I just got the Einar Imperium, and in a rousing battle, I sent them to eliminate the Minions of Utgar. My friend, after having them eliminated, took his Krav Maga and fired down, with an impassioned shout of "DIE YOU PIGEONS WITH WINGS!!!"

[dracothehalfdragon]

It wasnt really a case of something being said, more of a case of something being done.
My eldest son was bragging about how his Agent Carr was going to wipe my Marro's off of the face of the board. I shot, and killed, his Agent Carr before he even had a chance to do anything with him. This resulted in quite a lot of tears and "why? why?"
Fairly amusing....

When we roll for the Tarn's berserk, we vigourously shake our heads from side to side whilst loudly shouting out "berserk!"

To make your attack rolls more likely to be successful, as we roll we say "he's dead". Unfortunately, this can work against you as well if your opponent tries it too.

I guess we are just plain weird...

try whispering yhatzee into tour hands while shaking the dice. i have feild tested it and unless the dice land on shag carpet it will work 98 percent of the time

[dracothehalfdragon]

Last night we were playing a series of games on three smaller maps. I was palying Ben (if you ever saw our video from the thread "Best Castle Map Ever?" he was the angry looking guy at the end of the video), and he just suddenly started singing, 'The hills are live with the sound of..." and then he made a few explosion sounds and screamed. It was funny. what about 'Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny' look it up on youtube.com :whistle:

[dracothehalfdragon]

"BLOOD TO THE BLOOD GODS!"

-my friend Dark Lord, going berserk with Deathwalker 8000 try 8 height bonus/ range +4/ initiative lead on board 20 hex diameter dead center w/ dw9k, all but 1 (jotun uninjured) jotun comes and pushes the castle over (killing all but ngs) mindshackle successful bhoohooyaw :cheer:

[dracothehalfdragon]

I have done 3 count them 3 mindshackles in one game! I love you d-20! use black and white paint to put 1-5 as 20, youll never fail again.

[Noxious Ghoul]

Alright, I remeber one time, this was way back when I only had the Master set, my little brother had I think 2 AE next to my DW9k, now back then I thought DW9k was GOD! Se I used my explosion special attack on them. I rolled the three attack dice, and rolled one skull, both AE rolled shields, as I rolled my defence as I failed one after the other, by now me and my brother were standing and I was shaking my last die madly whispering to it that if I fail I will never used DW9K ever again. And of course I failed that last die roll and I simply blew my DW9K up. Although my brother said nothing I was so mad that I nuked the board and walked off. This was almost 3 years ago, I have never used simply because my brother would die laughing if I do.
(nuking a baord is when you swipe figures/pieces off the table, or on smaller board games just pounding the table with your fists)

[NecroBlade]

I rolled my defence as I failed one after the otherThis is why I tell my friends never EVER roll dice one at a time.

[Oh Yeah! I'm Here]

One time my brother and i were playing a battle and he was going to attack my DW9K with a blastatron with one attack. I was like "Ha Pierce that and i'll surrender and say u win",He rolls one attack skull. I roll 9defense and get nothing but blanks, honest. it ended in me surrending and my brother saying"god works in mysterious ways". :nkick: It's like getting kicked in the balls.

[dracothehalfdragon]

One time my brother and i were playing a battle and he was going to attack my DW9K with a blastatron with one attack. I was like "Ha Pierce that and i'll surrender and say u win",He rolls one attack skull. I roll 9defense and get nothing but blanks, honest. it ended in me surrending and my brother saying"god works in mysterious ways". :nkick: It's like getting kicked in the balls.ouch btw, dont ever say anything about surrender.exept: surrender and i shall not spare you

[Jandars_Hope]

One time my brother and i were playing a battle and he was going to attack my DW9K with a blastatron with one attack. I was like "Ha Pierce that and i'll surrender and say u win",He rolls one attack skull. I roll 9defense and get nothing but blanks, honest. it ended in me surrending and my brother saying"god works in mysterious ways". :nkick: It's like getting kicked in the balls.ouch btw, dont ever say anything about surrender.exept: surrender and i shall not spare you
:rofl:
Or "Surrender Now or Prepare to Get a Bruised Ego!". :twisted:

[Nooblar]

'Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny' look it up on youtube.com :whistle:

Or get the original at UltimateShowdown.org (http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/)

[deadeyedan42]

Just the other night, me and my brother played a game of utgar Vs. Jandar, He had one knight left and I had 4 Zombies left, then I continued to say,

"And now, Bengamin, you shall see why Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb."

[GForce3062]

Last night in one of the games I played with PoF, I had a lone Shade about three spaces away from his Nilfheim. It was my turn and I moved my Shade adjacent to his dragon, and then I began to roll for 'Soul Devour' until he said to check the card again. Little did I know, to Soul Devour you do it before moving, so I wasn't able to attempt to Soul Devour. So I decided to roll it anyway just to see if it would have been successful or not. To my dismay............ a 19 showed up! I was ticked, so I layed my head on the table and started laughing! :lol: :lol: Ahhhhhhhhhh, it felt good. I went on to win the match though.

[War Solves Everything]

Once, my brother and friend were trying to capture the castle. My brothers Sgt. Drake grappled up onto the castle wall right next to my Joton. I then took a turn with Joton and threw him off. No damage. Same thing next turn. No damage. He would say, "I can do this all day." I finally took him out with a lot of help from 4 Mass. :D

[Fezzikthedoor]

"What a lovely tea party".

[Syvarris the Ruler]

I had just gotten Kelda and my freind came to play.I used Charos to take out some of his army.Charos has one life left and I read Kelda's effect and I say "I hope I don't roll a 1"......I roll a 1......Me and my freind laugh for a while and then he beats me.......

[blitz]

Rob's McDirks had been pumped up and were holding a fairly important canyon. Walt moved up Jotun to smack them. But Walt has this little secret; he's extremely homophobic. Okay, not much of a secret, but he thinks it is. So just before he tried to Throw one of the McDirks, Rob says, "You throw him, and you'll make his kilt fly up. You know that I'm a traditionalist. All of my Scotsmen go regimental. Do you really want more than tartan to be waving in the air?"

Walt twitched hard. He decided not to go for the Throw and just smacked them. But he forgot to use use the special attack and killed only one. At which time Rob proceeds to unload on Jotun. Just before the last roll he says...

"That was wrong of me, Walt, and I apologize. I shouldn't use a man's beliefs against him just to win a game. I'd really like stop now and let your giant go. But the thing is..." and he points to the McDirks and says in his Hollywood scottish accent, "the lads, they don't agree, and they been a'drinkin' all day."

And drops nothing but skulls on the table.

[STAROCEAN980]

Rob's McDirks had been pumped up and were holding a fairly important canyon. Walt moved up Jotun to smack them. But Walt has this little secret; he's extremely homophobic. Okay, not much of a secret, but he thinks it is. So just before he tried to Throw one of the McDirks, Rob says, "You throw him, and you'll make his kilt fly up. You know that I'm a traditionalist. All of my Scotsmen go regimental. Do you really want more than tartan to be waving in the air?"

Walt twitched hard. He decided not to go for the Throw and just smacked them. But he forgot to use use the special attack and killed only one. At which time Rob proceeds to unload on Jotun. Just before the last roll he says...

"That was wrong of me, Walt, and I apologize. I shouldn't use a man's beliefs against him just to win a game. I'd really like stop now and let your giant go. But the thing is..." and he points to the McDirks and says in his Hollywood scottish accent, "the lads, they don't agree, and they been a'drinkin' all day."

And drops nothing but skulls on the table.
:wtf:

[Metaknight]

I got something: Scenario: My cousin has left me with nothing but a Marro Warrior against half his army.

Me: Uhh, uhh. You'll never kill me! *Jump into molten lava, roll 20D... 20 rolled.

Me: What?

Cousin and Me: :lol: *I get pulverized*

[dickflea]

"I have you now!!!" only to roll all blanks... :rofl: :neener:

[Goldendice]

While recording a battle I was having, my Thanos, just resurected after dying near the begining of battle (Curse you Braxas!), happened to die due to a nearly destroyed Sudema's stare.

I recorded and then said aloud, "Thanos killed (again)"

Another match earlier the same day, I was down to Kelda and my opponent had 4 Marro Stingers and a nagrub. Before dying, Kelda managed to take out 2 Stingers.

Thus came the name, "Kelda the Killer."

[heroscaper314]

"Is Sudema undead?"
"Yeah, that's why she's wrapped in toilet paper!"

[Aldin]

Welcome to the boards, Goldendice!

On behalf of our expensively rolled and Thanos+Rats hating community I extend to you a laurel and a hearty handshake.

As a new member, you can begin your journey on the path to the fellowship, praise and respect of your Heroscapers peers by checking out this announcement: http://heroscapers.com/community/showthread.php?t=6970

~Aldin, horrified that you put poor, lovely Kelda into the midst of bloody fight ;)

[SPECTER]

" I'll get height advantage with Marcu here, and finish off Major Q9!"

Rolls for Eternal Hatred. 19.

Marcu is given to my opponent. Marcu kills Isamu.

I remain speechless. Isamu sputters out "Et tu... Et tu Marcu?!"

[heroscaper314]

After my friend's last Templar Knight was killed:

"They were well worth their points, they killed Isamu"

[Nadom]

I used to have this in my signature, but one night I was playing a three player game in which I quickly lost all of my units except Guilty McCreech while the other armies were still near full strength. In my frustration, I stated that "If I win this game I will kick myself in the face."
Needless to say, I went on to win the game... and had to kick myself in the face.
This also spawned the ongoing slogan with my gaming group: "Guilty wins games."

EDIT:
I also just remembered the time I was playing with my wife and a friend of ours. My friend drafted a heap of (brand new, never yet seen by my wife) Ashigaru. While he was setting up his 20 or so Ashigaru my wife said (totally not politically correct), "Oh my gosh, you drafted Vietnam! This is gonna take forever!"

[Lord_Mortis]

A friend's Marcus Decimus whiffs his dice roll while attempting to finish off a wounded Su-Bak-Na, rolling no skulls whatsover.

I say he was too busy holding his sword aloft and admiring it. "Look at my sword! Have you ever seen anything so marvelous?'

[wrestlingking235]

I was playing a game with my friend and I kept getting really good rolls, so he goes, "You are lucky tonight," to which I responded, "It's not luck, it's unintentional skill."

[Goldendice]

Another match earlier the same day, I was down to Kelda and my opponent had 4 Marro Stingers and a nagrub. Before dying, Kelda managed to take out 2 Stingers.

Thus came the name, "Kelda the Killer."

Today, I had another incident of :twisted: Kelda the Killer. :twisted: My Krug and my opponent's Hulk were engaged in battle, both down to one life. I flipped over Kelda's order marker and announced, "I'm going to do something stupid in hopes of winning the game." I moved Kelda into adjacency with both of them, rolled a 20 to fully heal Krug (yes, I put Kelda in an army to heal Krug :screwy: ) and attacked the Hulk.

:bowdown: Lo and behold! The Hulk was slain by none other than...Kelda the Killer. Mwaaaahaahaahaha! :twisted:

I later went on to win the match, but likely would have lost if not for this defining moment. :mrgreen:

[BassAckwardz]

Rob's McDirks had been pumped up and were holding a fairly important canyon. Walt moved up Jotun to smack them. But Walt has this little secret; he's extremely homophobic. Okay, not much of a secret, but he thinks it is. So just before he tried to Throw one of the McDirks, Rob says, "You throw him, and you'll make his kilt fly up. You know that I'm a traditionalist. All of my Scotsmen go regimental. Do you really want more than tartan to be waving in the air?"

Walt twitched hard. He decided not to go for the Throw and just smacked them. But he forgot to use use the special attack and killed only one. At which time Rob proceeds to unload on Jotun. Just before the last roll he says...

"That was wrong of me, Walt, and I apologize. I shouldn't use a man's beliefs against him just to win a game. I'd really like stop now and let your giant go. But the thing is..." and he points to the McDirks and says in his Hollywood scottish accent, "the lads, they don't agree, and they been a'drinkin' all day."

And drops nothing but skulls on the table.

By far, the funniest of the bunch. I laughed out loud, and nearly spit diet Dr Pepper all over my laptop.

Bass

[iceman3317]

me and my cousin were playing he had the elves and other things and i had orcs well i got to the forest and i keap knocking trees down my cousin said orcs hate trees.Then when I picked up one of my big trees and sliped out of my hand and knocked over all my orcs.I added I gusse trees hate orcs too.

[DEATHWALKER]

My father did a major fall off a 2 storry castle wall with Agent Carr. the dice came out as this:

:skull: :skull: :skull:

Carr was only alive by 1 life, so I said

"Congratulations! He's now part of a squad!"

[heroscaper314]

"Su-Bak-Na is overpriced."
"How many points is he?"
"I dunno."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After getting Ne-Gok-Sa down to one life, he started getting amazing defense rolls. My friend claimed: "You can't kill him because you're not pronouncing his name right."

I proceeded to pronounce Ne-Gok-Sa the way my friend had been pronouncing it. Lo and behold, Ne-Gok-Sa was killed. :shock:

EDIT: Just remembered this one:
I was attacking Ne-Gok-Sa with Syvarris (who had height advantage). All four dice came out as shields. I used my second attack on Ne-Gok-Sa and before rolling said "I hopefully won't roll four shields this time."

I roll the dice and, of course, nothing but shields.

[ares834]

" I'll get height advantage with Marcu here, and finish off Major Q9!"

Rolls for Eternal Hatred. 19.

Marcu is given to my opponent. Marcu kills Isamu.

I remain speechless. Isamu sputters out "Et tu... Et tu Marcu?!"
Classic. Now if t was only a mindshacled Brunak.

[guido]

When my opponent rhetorically asked some kind of question out of despair as Krug smashed through his forces:

(in the voice of Krug)"Don't know, Krug only pawn in game of life."

Also: Krug MAAAAAD!!!!!

EDIT: Just remembered this one:

My Grimnak had one life left. He was adjacent to a Charos with height advantage and RotV Raelin a few steps behind him. I took a turn with Grimnak to get rid of the one squad figure there and then decided to attack Charos, who had no damage markers on him.

My cousin, "Are you sure, you know he has counterattack?"

Me, "Yeah well, he's dead anyway." I roll two skulls and he rolls no shields

Cousin, "What the heck was that?! Grimnak must be pissed or something."

Me, "No, Charos is pissed because you've been placing all your order markers on him."

Grimnak magically slays Charos in the next round (all order markers on Heavy Gruts) and proceeds to rip through the battlefield. A lone MacDirk warrior makes his way to him with an attack of eight and rolls all skulls on Grimnak as I roll no shields.

My Cousin: "That's what you get for being cheep."

[ares834]

My noobish freind said this after killing a guy with Sparticus. (He loves Gladiators)

"Dude Sparticus ROCKS!"

[Jexik]

I was playing a 1v1v1 all melee game. We stuck with single-general armies too. One guy had a ton of vipers, and 20 odd points left, so he took Kyntela Gwyn, even though he had no Elves. I went with Zombies, Isamu, and Cyprien. The other guy had miscellaneous Einar stuff.

Everything I had but Isamu got wiped out. The Einar and Ullar guy fought each other until Ullar had just 2 Armocs and the Venoc Warlord left with 3 wounds to go.

"Wouldn't it be great if Isamu kills those vipers?" I said.

He did.

"Wouldn't it be hilarious if Kyntela Gwyn kills Isamu?" Ullar said.

She did.

[NecroBlade]

Nice one, Jexik.



I can add one after Buddy Lee's Game Day, I suppose:

Me: "Three skulls, three skulls, three skulls!" *Rolls three skulls* :excited:

[HeroscaperHuh]

Funniest thing that happened during a battle...I had 1 RotV and 1 Heros Wave 3. My friend had just gotten the Forest set (I had never played with one) and he has bragging about the Dumufet Guard and how it would get up to 5 attack and defense. On my first or second turn, I nailed it like a nail gun iwth a Krav or something. It so hilarious.

Also, my other friend ALWAYS pick Su-Bak-Na for the first game we play when we get together. SBN, as we will agree, is nimble and fragile. I almost always shoot it down before it does anything.

Also, that "other" friend got poned by my Braxas, sentienals and heros alike. After that battle, he threw Braxas, and then put him on a shelf and said we couldn't use him for the next game. I offered to let him use him, but I think he thought Braxas was broken.
lol, good times!

[Technomagus]

A while back, during one of my EpicScape games at AACC's gaming club, I was down to a single Ninja of the North Wind on a road tile. My opponent flies Su-Bak-Na to height and engages the Ninja. "Oh, crap. I'm boned." I say. I had been rolling rather horribly that day, and I had missed every Vanish roll I threw up to that point.

"Oh, yeah. I'm gonna kill that (*^*(& Ninja!" SBN's controller grins evilly.

He throws eight dice. Six blanks and two shields.

There was an awkward pause.

I immediately jump up, throwing my hands in the air. "I'M A NINJA! YOU CAN'T SEE ME!!!"

The Club's president walks over and pats SBN's controller on the sholder. "There's a corner over there if you want to cry."

The Ninja proceeds to rip through a full-health SBN before slaughtering the rest of his units. I think it was finally taken down by a random Microcorp Agent.

[Lichspawn9]

in a 2000 point battle nobody attacked me for a while, and i had enough time to get like everyone good and strong on the bridge with like raelin and taelord and stuff, and i said there was a toll to cross my bridge... that toll is your life
Was there a Krug under your bridge? :lol:

[Lord_Paul]

Two games in a row, my AE failed to drop the entire game.
I said, "Come on, guys! You're fricking PARATROOPERS! You're not supposed to be afraid to jump!"

[Nadom]

As my friend rolled an attack from his Sonya Esewein on my Marcu Esewein:
"Mommy doesn't like her son. Mommy's gonna spank him."
and proceeded to roll :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull: (with height)
Friend watching the game: "Child abuse has just occurred here."

[Bloody the Marro Stinger]

Problem is, Marcu is Crypien's BROTHER, not his son. But it's still hillarious. :lol:

[Archkyrie11]

I was playing a 4 way game with all three onf my nephews a couple of years ago. It was Thanksgiving and one of my nephews had an army with Agent Carr. His mom called him for some reason and he said he would be right back. While he was gone we continued with the game and I rolled defense dice for him on any of his units that were attacked. His agent Carr got attacked and I rolled poorly so Carr died. When he returned to the table he looked around totally and then proclaimed "Dude! Where's my Carr?!?!" This is a true story... We died laughing!!! It was in my sig line for a long time.


I'm gonna fall into a coma i have been laughing for 15 minutes now

[n1ck3l]

My brothers and I were playing, and my brother had the castle, Syvarris and attack +1. My other brother had the zombies. After several shots and several dead zombies later, my brother smiles and ressurects his zombie with the club. My other brother, exasperated by now, declares loudly, "That's like the tenth time I killed that zombie with the club... resurrect someone else, one without a club."

[Onacara]

During the Chaos in the Capitl tourney I was watching my sons match against Ninja...my son had 2 stingers and a few nagrubs left..ninja had some roman archers and spearmen left....

As Ninja was about toa take out the last of my sons stingers (leaving just a few Nagrubs between him and victory ) I yelled out..."In a minute it's gonna look like Michael Vicks backyard in here"

Ninja, Randy and myself had a good chuckle.....my son didn't get the joke :(

[Technomagus]

My friend David and I were testing some maps for my upcoming tournament, and while playing my Flooded City (http://www.heroscapers.com/download/index.php?dlid=1098) map, it was down to him with a single Sacred Band member while I had Mittens, a squad and a half of Armocs, 1 Venoc, and 2 squads of Aubriens left. Panicked like a little girl, the Sacred Band frantically ran up the ladder, while Mittens and the Armocs chase after him. Finally, Mittens engages him from below (the Sacred Band is one rung from the top of the outer pillar, Mittens is ~2-3 rungs lower). Mittens swings! Whiff.

Sacred Band swings!
:skull::skull::skull::skull:

Me: "Gerf... This is going to suck.." Mittens already had two wounds from tangoing with Q9. Untill the Aubriens went nuts and blasted him on height for 3 or so turns in a row.

David: "I hope he takes it all."

Mittens rolls defense!
:skull::skull::noshield::noshield:

I cry a little on the inside as I remove Mittens. Then an Armoc flies up and attacks!
:noskull::noskull::noskull:

Sacred Band retaliates!
:skull::skull::shield:

Suffice it to say, that Sacred Band ripped through another Amorc before finally getting put down by the Aubriens on the bridge. It was crazy.

[guido]

Just last night my younger cousins and I were playing on a map with lots of lava. It was their first time with lava and they quickly learned the phrase 'hot lava death'. Halfway through the night, one of my cousins bites into his Hotpocket and scalds his mouth. Not a moment later, his younger brother yells "Hot Lava Death, Shane dies." The rest of the night, the term became Hotpocket death. I assume that it will remain that way for quite some time.

[heroscaper314]

"It's improbable for improbable things not to happen. Just ask Deathwalker - if you can reassemble him."

[Smileyguy521]

Well at my house im always the lucky roller. I don;t know why it just kind of happens It seems to me that Sylvarris always rolls 3 skulls out of 3 dice on his second attack :D :D regardless of who I'm attacking and what I roll the first time. We use to be pretty surprised about this but now were kinda used to it. :D :D

Sylvarris is my best friend~ :D

[DEATHWALKER]

"It's improbable for improbable things not to happen. Just ask Deathwalker - if you can reassemble him."*raises an eye brow*

Sylvarris is my bes friend~ :D By that logic, I have 3!

[n1ck3l]

My brother and I were teaming up against my other brother.

Lucky me, I have Kelda. My brother's Abomination pretty much got trashed by Silver Surfer, but he survived, barely. So he starts running across the board, "Cann you heal me now?" On top of a mountain' "Can you heal me now?" In the castle: "Can you heal me now?" In the swamp: "Can you heal me now?"

It was great, mostly because he pronounces his L's as W's.

For those of you that still don't get it, it reminded me of a cell phone commercial.

[BRUNAK]

My first game was against my mom and (this wasnt said but i thought) it it was basic and my moms carr advances on my deathwalker 9000 and dw had height but carr kills him and i was thing dude that long haired Morpheus(from Matrix)just pounded my invincible dw! then i lost and pouted.

[KaBoomboomBoom]

I was playing Q-9 with one wound left and my opponent Jexik (http://www.heroscapers.com/community/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=3235)attacked with a Deathreaver from height. Before I rolled defense I resigned "not with a bang, but with a whimper." Lo and behold, Q crumbled.


(quote from the last stanza of T.S. Eliot's The Hallow Men)

[Dr. Weirdscaper]

Hello Police,

I've been ROBBED!!!

[BRUNAK]

Huh? I don't get it. SOORRY.

[Lord_Paul]

Hello Police,

I've been ROBBED!!!
...please explain. Were you really robbed, or is this an inside joke? :?

[Lord_Paul]

"It's improbable for improbable things not to happen. Just ask Deathwalker - if you can reassemble him."

Hehe...I remember that quote...

I had been getting insanely good defense rolls with my Minons of Utgar (4-6 shields each time), causing Heroscaper314 to exclaim "That's so improbable!", which sparked Goldendice (who was watching the game) to say the above quote, "It's improbable for improbable things not to happen. Just ask Deathwalker 9000... if you can reassemble him"

[Dr. Weirdscaper]

Hello Police,

I've been ROBBED!!!
...please explain. Were you really robbed, or is this an inside joke? :?

Ok, jokes are rarely funny when you have to explain them, but....

when I got robbed by the dice, I picked up the phone
and said "Hello Police, I've been ROBBED. I also said some other
things that I am not alowed to say on this site- but still funny.

[ej]

Darkmantle was giving us a description of a game at the KC Hextreme Mayhem tourney and referred to the plague dogs as Herpes Hounds.

I hope that name hangs around a good long while.

[BRUNAK]

OHHH! I get it Dr. W