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Footlad79
July 17th, 2007, 03:58 PM
This is a fan fiction I decided to write because I was bored. Comments are appreciated. I really want to know what your thoughts are on this.

Take the Plunge
Denrick's Duty Pt. I

The morning sun was shining on his back warming him. Standing, there on the top of the hill during the sunrise, Sir Denrick tried not to think about what lay just beyond in the forest at the base of the hill. For now he would not let his mind drift to that. For thinking of that would lead his thoughts down a trail which would inevitably end up at that one day…
He ignored that for now.
The wind whistled as it blew though Denrick’s armor. It blew across the fields making the wind look like waves and ripples scrawling across the open plain at the base of the hill. Standing upon the hill gazing down the slope at the grass made it seem as though he was standing on the beach, ready to bath in the ocean.
His euphoria made the rest of the world an enigma to him. He just let his mind drift through his memories. He thought back to those wonderful days in Weston. He remembered diner with the king in the grand hall, the cold stone floor of the castle in the winter, but most of all he remembered his beloved. Though his lucid dream of the past had made him happy, it would not last. The crackle of the trees and the sound of swords and shields made him remember what lay beyond the tree line. This is what made his daydream end almost as suddenly and unexpectantly as his coming to Valhalla.
He had his forces camped on the hill, so that the 4th Massachusetts would not have to move in order to get excellent shots off at Utgar’s soldiers, which was their specialty. Down the base of the hill was a long open plain which he knew would optimize the power of the Knights of Weston and the Templar Calvary. Having Sir Gilbert among the ranks, prepared to raise the flag of Jandar, only enhanced that advantage. Concan was a hero to these men, and was not just for moral support. He was also a very skilled warrior. Denrick had carefully planned his position, and he would not let Utgar leave unscathed.
“Sir the men are ready to attack, we are just waiting for your command so we charge into battle,” a knight said as he approached Denrick. This man had obviously never seen the horrors of battle. He was trying to convince Denrick to charge blindly into battle just so he could see blood and action.
“We must wait. All we know is that Utgar’s forces are in the forest. We would be blind running into the forest. He must make the first move. I don’t like it but that is the way is has been made. Just because you are war hungry does not mean I will sacrifice good men,” Denrick said. He spoke softly, but firm and angry. He was a reluctant teacher. Jandar had saved his life, and it was his duty to lead the soldiers Jandar had entrusted in his care.
“We also have information that Utgar has a gigantic beast in his ranks within the forest. From what I have heard, that is your specialty,” the ignorant man said.
“Gigantic beasts are nothing to feel safe from,” Denrick said, more to himself than to this knight. Whether he liked it or not, this man was pushing him down that terrible trail. “Leave me be. The time will come when we must fight. Until then, I would not concern myself with death if I were you, unless you are humble enough to think it may be your own. I truly doubt you are.”
The arrogant soldier walked away, his precious ego injured. If that hurt him, he will have a rude awakening in combat, Denrick thought. He tried to recapture that peaceful bliss the knight had ruined. Unfortunately, it was gone. Now Denrick was returning to the camp. He was happy to see that his men were ready to fight, making sure that Utgar’s forces would not catch them off guard. He was almost ecstatic to see that non of them were as stupid as the messenger. No wonder he was a messenger.
Just as he was about to enter his tent when he turned to see one arrow fly out of the forest. When it was almost going to hit its peek, ready to come back to the ground, he was able to divert his attention away from the arrow to see hundreds more fly into the air out of the forest. They were like a flock of crows saying, “Now we shall kill you!”

Chimpy
July 17th, 2007, 10:28 PM
I like the start, grabbed my attention. The dialogue was also excuted well. However, the ending was kind of melodramatic. The flock of crows stuff could have been taken out. Otherwise, a fine venture.

super kyrie
July 22nd, 2007, 04:01 PM
Pretty interesting. Are you going to add more to this? You kind of left it hanging there.

Footlad79
July 28th, 2007, 08:28 PM
Sorry I haven't written more. I've been gone for a week. Here's more, tell me what you think.


Take the Plunge
Denrick's Duty Pt. 2

“Positions!” Sir Denrick yelled. The knights and templar raised their shield just as the arrows came raining down, rattling off their shields. He also heard horses and men scream, yet he had no time to stop and mourn them. He saw orcs pouring out of the forest. The agile swog riders came first, charging up the hill. Behind them came the blade gruts, who came running after. The heavy gruts were more orderly. They rushed out of the forest and formed a phalanx. The phalanx started moving forward, and then half of them stopped, while the others kept marching forward. The front row of the stopped phalanx knelt down and the first three rows brandished their pikes.
At first, Denrick did not understand what was worth protecting in the forest, but he couldn’t concern himself with that now. “Minute men, fire!” Denrick called. As he did, he heard bangs coming from each side were the minute men were positioned. Looking down he saw swog riders and blade gruts falling to the ground. He glimpsed one rider’s wolf fall to the ground and roll over the rider, crushing him. The rider behind him could not stop fast enough and he rammed into the downed wolf, sending him flying into a group of blade gruts.
“Templars, charge!” he yelled. The Templars charged down the hill, with their weapons drawn. They gained speed and ripped through the forward orcs, but were stopped short at the phalanx. Too many of them slammed into the phalanx, dieing instantly. Enough stopped short and were coming back to prepare for a second charge.
Then, Denrick understood the purpose of the phalanx in front of the forest. Arrow gruts started running out of the forest and started firing at Denrick’s forces. Among them was an orc carrying a flag with Utgar’s symbol on hit. He recognized this orc to be Ornak. He saw some of the knights in front start to fall as the arrows flew into them.
“Concan, take control of the knight’s left and right formations and have them take out the advancing phalanx,” Denrick said. Concan nodded and flew off, yelling “Men, follow me.”
“Gilbert, get the central formation and engage the orcs the Templars left behind,” he yelled. Gilbert nodded and raised his flag and took his knights down the hill.
“Minute men, I want those arrow gruts dead! I want a third of you remaining knights to guard the minute men on the right. Another third to guard the ones on the left. The ones left over, follow me,” ordered Denrick. He charged down the hill after the other knights, and started fighting blade gruts left and right. When he finally had a chance to breath he saw that he was standing virtually alone, surrounded by orcs.
He heard a thunder coming from the forest. He looked up and was taken off his feet by a grut trying to hit him, with a sword. His armor took the blow, but he was still pushed to the ground and the air knocked out of him. He rolled over and saw an orc standing over him. The orc swung his sword down, but Denrick responded and block it with his shield. He pushed back on the orc, rolled got up, and took the orc off guard cutting him in the neck.
Denrick saw what was making the noise in the forest. A giant raptor came running from the forest with an orc riding it. He heard men scream in terror, but then he heard them howl. He saw an even more massive dinosaur come out of the forest, which started eating his men. He then recalled what the knight had told him before the battle. “Gigantic beast are your specialty, I hear!”

super kyrie
August 7th, 2007, 11:55 AM
simply astounding! Amazing! Can't wait to see what happens! :D

Footlad79
August 7th, 2007, 06:36 PM
The ground is cold. The dew is still on the ground, trees, and plants. A lizard runs out from under a tree and his raptor kicks out and impales it on its claw. It puts its head down, sniffs it, and throws it away in disgust.
“Grimnak, our forward phalanx is gone. Their knights and that damn kyrie killed them. Our rear phalanx is still holding strong. It killed their cavalry when they tried to charge it. Our archers are still continuing to attack, taking out much of their warriors. So are their riflemen. It seems as though all warriors in the thick of the battlefield are getting killed, while those in back are unharmed. The indirect units are massacring. Ours, and theirs,” the grut who had given them the news was shaky. He was scared that he may be killed because of bringing bad news.
“Tell the elites that aren’t dead to get back to the other group. Don’t let any more whelps out of the archer’s protection. If any knights follow them, kill the knights,” Grimnak said.
“Yessir,” the orc said and walked away.
“Tornak,” Grimnak said softly.
“What?” Tornak said.
“Let’s go kick some ass,” Grimak said.
“Alright!” Tornak was ecstatic! His brother was asking him to fight along side him. He could not wait to get in the battle and make his brother proud.
Grimnak started off, knocking down trees as he went. Tornak watched as Grimnak thundered through the forest. Tornak gave his raptor a kick and he started chasing after Grimak. His raptor was much smaller and more agile than his brother’s. He darted and dashed through the trees. He ran around a tree and jumped on a boulder. He went down a small slope and jumped over a stream. Suddenly a great shadow came over him. He looked up to see his brother’s dinosaur about to stomp on him. He pulled hard to the right and his raptor jumped out of the way.
Tornak was starting to see light coming in through the trees as they started to get thinner. He ran out of the forest and started yelling, “Get out of the way! Grimnak’s coming! Move if you don’t want to be killed!”
Tornak’s raptor jumped over a heavy grut and ran into the battle. He swung his spear down and jabbed a knight throw the throat. He laughed as his raptor trampled some people. He heard the enemy start to scream. He laughed even more.
As Grimnak emerged from the forest, he heard even more yelling. He stopped and turned to see his dinosaur lurch down and start eating knights. The enemy started to scatter. He ended up running up and down killing them as they ran about. He caught eyes with a cavalry, and prepared to charge. They started running at each other. He thrust his spear forward and it knocked the warrior off his horse. He turned around and walked up to the warrior. His raptor bit the man’s arm and flung him up. As the man flew up, Tornak stabbed him in the stomach. His raptor pulled down, tearing the man in half.
Tornak was knocked down by something, and his raptor started to run. His leg had gotten caught in the reigns and he was pulled along with him. After he was able to grab a sword that was on the ground, he cut himself free. He was trying to get a bearing on were he was, when he was knocked unconscious.

super kyrie
August 9th, 2007, 04:33 PM
"when he was knocked unconcious." sounds ominous. I think Orcs are cool but I think knights and cavalry are way better! (no offense) but, I hope somebody beats the $hi* out of him. I can't wait to read more of the story. :D